


What Kind Of Fool

by tiggerblu



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 17:33:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 82,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19795669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiggerblu/pseuds/tiggerblu
Summary: What do you do when life as you know it ends and your world comes crashing down? You rebuild and move on. Blaine and Kurt broke up their senior year, can they find their way back to each other. And somehow make it work. A/U***** I Don’t Own Glee Or Any Song In My Stories****





	1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Ok, I got the idea for this book driving around in my car one weekend. I had the Warblers cd in. Because yes, it is still in my car, and yes I do still listen to it lol. Well anyway, the second to the last song came on “What Kind Of Fool” and I had to write this. I thought it would make a perfect story. It is mostly from Blaine’s POV. I hope you like it. I do not own glee or any of the songs used in my story. Thanks for reading.

The Transfers

oOoOo

Blaine wasn’t ready, how could he ever be ready for this. He had seen Kurt every day since he transferred from McKinley to Dalton, and every night once he had he became a boarder. He was going back, moving back home. He had tried to convince him to stay, but all Kurt would say was that since Karofsky wasn’t at McKinley anymore there was really no reason not to go back. He couldn’t justify making his parents continue to pay for private school tuition.

Blaine so wanted to be selfish and say what about me am I not reason enough, but he knew that Kurt wasn’t really happy at Dalton. He missed his friends, his family. Blaine figures for Kurt it would be easier to miss just him, than miss everyone else. So Blaine is supportive, he smiles and acts like he is ok. While inside he is dying.

While Kurt is getting all his stuff moved and ready for his transfer, Blaine meets with the Warbler counsel, they work on a song for Kurt. They had all wanted to tell him goodbye. Today was Kurt’s last day here; he would be officially transferred at 12 noon Monday. Blaine had worked with Mercedes to make sure that Kurt would be outside at 12:15.

OOoOo

Blaine and The Warblers showed up right at 12:15 Monday afternoon and walked to the outside commons area, where Mercedes had said Kurt would be waiting. They all walked down the stairs in a line led by Blaine. “Kurt, Dalton is really going to miss you, I am sad to see you go but we all know this is something that you really want, I will still have you on the weekends, but these guys won't so we came to say goodbye”. Wes and David started the harmonies with the remaining Warblers coming down the stairs creating the classic Warbler formation and joining in on the song.

I walked across an empty land

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

Sat by the river and it made me complete

Watching Kurt’s face light up in surprise, Blaine knows it was the right decision. Kurt had been there when Blaine had serenaded Jeremiah, who meant nothing to Blaine, how, could he not do the same thing for Kurt who meant the world.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

With every word, Blaine feels like he dies just a little inside. He knows he isn’t losing Kurt, but it wouldn’t be the same. Now there time would be relegated to weekends only again, for at least 3 months until school got out.

They finish the song, and Kurt goes up to them and one by one he tells everyone goodbye saving Blaine for last. “I’m never saying goodbye to you” Kurt whispers in Blaine’s ear as he hugs him, maybe a few minutes longer than he had hugged everyone else. But this was Blaine, his Blaine. And in that moment he didn’t really care who saw that hug.

oOoOo

Somehow they made it through the rest of the school year, with Blaine waking up early Saturday morning and heading to Lima. He spends the weekend at the Hummel house and then heads back on Sunday night. They do everything they can in the two days they have together. They go to movies, eat out, or just spend the weekend just cuddling on the couch. That is Blaine’s favorite way to spend the weekend, just Kurt and him, snuggled together. Not trying to hide who they are, what they mean to each other, not looking both ways before kissing in case someone was looking.

At the beginning of Blaine’s junior year of high school, after only the first week, he knows that there is no way he will be able to go a whole year without Kurt, three months had been hard enough. It also didn’t help that Kurt kept reminding him of his promise to think about transferring to McKinley. They had spent almost every day of the summer together, with Blaine falling more and more in love with Kurt every day. With only the first week down, which had felt like a month, he knew there was no way this was going to work.

He met Kurt at the Lima Bean after school on Monday; Blaine had texted Kurt during his lunch break to see if he could be there. It was the second week of the school year only one million more to go. He had just seen Kurt yesterday, but today had been long and hard, and he just needed to see him. So even though he had to drive two hours to only get to spend an hour with Kurt, it was worth it, an hour was an hour.

He went home that day knowing what he needed to do. He manages to convince his parents to let him transfer to McKinley, until Kurt’s graduation. He had also thought about next year, when he would be stuck at McKinley after Kurt and everyone else he knew graduated, and moved on. At least now he could see him every weekend, if Kurt follows through with his decision he made last year, he would be going to New York.

If going a week without seeing Kurt had been bad, how would a full year be, until he could graduate himself and move? At least last year he got to be with him every weekend, once Kurt goes to New York how long will he have to go before he can see him again. He decided once he transferred that he would try to test out of his junior year course curriculum, and take senior classes this year so he would be eligible to graduate with everyone else.

He should be graduating with Kurt anyway; he was actually of few months older than him. He had been held back a grade after the Sadie Hawkins dance when he and his friend had been beaten up so bad for being gay, he had ended up in the hospital, and then rehab. His grades had been fine but he had missed too many days to be able to make it up. Home schooling at the time hadn’t been an option so, when he was discharged from rehab, he went home for a month and then he was transferred and repeated his sophomore year at Dalton. The bad thing was, he could have tested out and not had to retake that whole year at any time, but until Kurt came along he hadn’t really felt the need

Blaine talked to Principle Figgins when his parents took him to get registered at McKinley; he agreed to allow Blaine try to test out. Blaine took the test that day, and because classes where so much harder, and more advanced at Dalton he had no problem passing his junior year classes with what would have been an A average, so he eligible to skip all eleventh grade classes, except junior AP English, and that was because Principal Figgins said the school board wouldn’t allow it. He had to take that one junior class, but the rest of his classes would be twelfth grade level and he would be set to graduate at the end of this year with Kurt.

Blaine’s parents weren’t really happy with the transfer, they like the idea of Dalton being a safe environment for Blaine; he had flourished there like he never had at Carson his last school. They also didn’t like the idea of him driving back and forth in his old car. It was fine when he was just going from home to Dalton, but for such long trips everyday they wanted him to have a reliable car. So when he goes out to leave for is first day at McKinley he finds a brand new ford mustang convertible. It is shiny black with red interior and he falls in love.

Blaine hadn’t told Kurt yet, that they would be graduating together; it was going to be a surprise. He even managed to get in his second English class in by exchanging his free period for English. But that also meant instead of having a class in school where he could get all his studying and home work done he had to do it after school but it was so worth it he thought, if and when Kurt went to New York he would be able to go too.

oOoOo

Kurt didn’t know how Blaine managed to get into so many of his senior level classes but didn’t really care. Blaine, his Blaine was at McKinley, and he just loved that he was here. He loved that he got to see him almost all day they had 4 classes together. Last year at Dalton they only had one, since Blaine had only been a sophomore and Kurt a junior. But he did still miss the nights they got to spend together.

Usually at night all the Warblers would gather in the commons area of Alexander hall and Blaine and Kurt would cuddle watching movies with them or try to above the jokes and raunchy comments that were shouted at them over the movie usually by Jeff until curfew separated them to their own dorms.

He had missed Blaine the last 3 months of school last year. He hasn’t quite figured out what they were going to do next year when he left for New York and Blaine would still be here for another year. He knows they will figure something out though. The bad thing is that out of their group Blaine is the only junior, everyone will be graduating this year but him.

He wondered if Blaine would transfer back to Dalton or stay at McKinley, when everyone he knows is gone. But either way, once Blaine graduates he will be with him in New York. He just wishes that Blaine was going with him sooner. The last 3 months of last year had been rough. He knows that Blaine hadn’t really understand him leaving, but he just couldn’t keep going there knowing how much it cost his dad and Carol, when the main issue with him going to McKinley was no longer an issue. He can’t imagine his life without Blaine for a whole year, but somehow they will make this work. They just had too. Blaine had become his person. The person he loved the person he needed to always be in his life.

He knows they will be able to Skype every night, and they can call, text and email each other but it won’t be the same, you can’t cuddle over Skype, or hug through email. He is hoping that every other weekend Blaine might be able to come and see him in New York, his parents might even allow him to use their corporate plane. Either way he knows that they will be able to figure something out, he knows he will not be able to go a full year without seeing Blaine. That was completely outside of the realm of possibility.

oOoOo

It takes Blaine a while to get used to how glee at McKinley works. At Dalton there was structure, there were votes, at McKinley everyone just stood up and said what they wanted to say. By the end of the first month at Dalton set list’s are already set for sectionals, but from what Kurt said the set list at McKinley generally went out the week before.

Blaine also couldn’t figure Finn out, they had gotten along fine since he started dating Kurt, but now it seems he has a problem with him. He would make funny faces when he didn’t think Blaine was looking, making comments about everything he said, trying to start arguments to belittle him.

But other than these few things he really enjoys McKinley, and after an adjustment period he felt like he fit in. He liked the glee club once he got used to how things flowed there. He loves Santana’s snark and Brittany’s cute comments. But he especially enjoys being with Kurt. The weird thing was that out of everyone, Santana and him actually become close friends, she was the only one who knew that Blaine would be graduating with them, and constantly talked about how she could hardly wait to see porcelains face when he found out.

oOoOo

They had the first argument as a couple shortly after Blaine transferred. He had been given the roll of Tony in Westside story. He had tried out to be officer Krupke, because he knew that Kurt was trying out for Tony and didn’t want take anything away from him. After his audition he was asked to try out for Tony. He talked to Kurt first and he agreed that Blaine would be the perfect Tony, so he did it.

That wasn’t when the trouble started though it was after he went to Dalton to invite his friends to the plays opening night, he met a new Warbler, that had just transferred there this year. Sebastian was everything that Blaine would have, at one point gone for, he was confident secure in himself, really cute and not afraid to let people know he was gay.

They exchanged numbers and started talking and texting a lot, but as soon as he realized that Sebastian wanted more than friendship, he let him know that he wasn’t available that he had a boyfriend that he cared deeply about.

“I don’t care, if you don’t Blaine, it’s not like you are engaged or anything, what will it hurt if you go out with me once, that way you will know if what you feel for him is real” Sebastian asked him one day. He had met him at the Lima Bean after school, he had texted Blaine and had asked him to meet him there. Blaine hadn’t really realized until that day what Sebastian really wanted.

Blaine didn’t realize that Kurt had walked up behind him and heard the whole conversation, and waited to see what Blaine would say before letting him know he was there. Kurt’s heart sped up. He wouldn’t stand back and lose Blaine to a meerkat looking creep, without a fight, but he needed to know where he stood. He had always wondered in the back corners of his mind, in the places where his insecurities hid why Blaine was with him. He was gorgeous, sweet, attentive and generous to a fault, he loved with his whole heart and wasn’t afraid to let someone know they were loved. He could have anybody and yet he had chosen Kurt.

“Sebastian, what you are saying is flattering, but I don’t need to go out with someone else to know what I have with Kurt. He is the best person I have ever known, I love him deeply and would never do anything that might mess up what the two of us have. It wouldn’t be worth it to me. I could never do something that could potentially damage what I have with him, he is great.”

Kurt couldn’t help but grin Blaine really did love him as much as he loved Blaine, he had known it, but guesses he needed that acknowledgement. “Who is great” he said finally ready to let Blaine know that he is there. Both boys look up at the same time in surprise Blaine feeling a little bit guilty about not telling Kurt that he was meeting Sebastian today, he doesn’t know why he didn’t he had always talked to Kurt about Sebastian, had even let Kurt look at every text message he had ever gotten.

“You of course” Blaine was finally able to talk wondering just how much of the conversation Kurt had heard, so he knows just how much damage control he was going to need to do.

Standing up he grabbed a chair for Kurt so he could sit with them and introduces Kurt to Sebastian. “This is my boyfriend Kurt, that I was just talking about” he said

“Ahhh so HE is the one that is so “great” Sebastian said in a tone that set Blaine off, not liking the way he was looking at Kurt, like somehow who wasn’t worthy to be in his presence. Kurt was ten times better that Sebastian could ever hope of being.

“Yes, this is him” Blaine said looking at Kurt with a sweet smile, all the love he felt shining through his eyes, wondering how anyone could look at Kurt and not see what he saw. He was amazing.

For whatever reason Kurt decides that they need to except Sebastian’s offer of going to Scandals that night, he said he could get them some fake id’s and he did. Blaine had a beer and was feeling good, he kissed Kurt and pulled him into a hug, before walking out onto the dance floor Sebastian and started dancing, feeling good and relaxed. Not a care in the world, yes he knew Sebastian was dancing a little closer than he should let him, but Blaine was having fun, and they were just dancing.

He was on the dance floor with Sebastian for maybe ten minutes before Kurt comes up and starts dancing with him, close, rubbing on him. Blaine doesn’t know if it is the alcohol, or Kurt being so close or the combination of the both, but he is hard. He reaches out and grabs Kurt’s hips pulling him close that way he can feel just what he is doing to him. Kurt always had this effect on him, he normally was able to control it, but tonight he needed Kurt bad. He felt like he might explode from it.

“Let’s go outside” Blaine whispers seductively in Kurt’s ear, when he nods his head yes Blaine grabs his hand and starts pulling him through the crowd. He had to get them out of there he needed to be alone with Kurt. When they get to the car Blaine pushes him gently against it and then dives in for a kiss, getting harder by the minute. He is kissing Kurt with more need than he ever has, he had only ever kissed Kurt sweetly, never showing the passion he felt for him because he knew that Kurt liked romance more than anything else, and normally he was fine with that. Blaine liked romance too. He loved just holding Kurt’s hand, or cuddling with him, wanting to wait until Kurt was ready before pushing for anything more.

But tonight felt different, the way Kurt was dancing with him was different, grinding his hips into Blaine’s was different. It was like he set him on fire, and he would burn if he couldn’t get closer. So here they were, in the parking lot of Scandals and Blaine can’t get enough, his kisses turn a little rough, sliding his mouth over Kurt’s fast, slipping his tongue in his mouth so that he can taste him. He has always been addicted to the taste of Kurt pushing his hips into him, needing him more than he ever has, letting his perfect control around Kurt slip for the first time, and loving it. Normally he took care of his own “problem” when Kurt would leave after one of their make out sessions. Sometimes wondering how Kurt could not be as effected as he was. But tonight he just needed Kurt.

“Blaine stop” he heard Kurt say and felt him pushing on him, pushing him back

“Kurt please baby, I need you so bad” he said trying to pull him back into a kiss

“Blaine stop” he says and this time Blaine listens he pulls back

“Why baby, you know I love you, and I need you so bad right now”

“Do you think I want our first time to be after you spent most of the night dancing with someone else” Kurt all but screamed at Blaine, mad. Yes he needed Blaine too, and it would be so easy to say yes, but he would be damned if the first time they are intimate is in the back seat of a car in the parking lot of a bar. No not gonna happen.

“Fine Kurt, forgive me for trying to be spontaneous and have a little fun” Blaine says before turning around and walking away

“Where are you going” he heard Kurt say

“Home Kurt, I am going to walk home” and he did.

By the time he got there he felt stupid, and upset and unfortunately sober so he knew what he had just done. He had known how Kurt felt about intimacies, they weren’t there yet, and to do that in a parking lot…. Kurt was worth so much more than that. He deserved romance their first time, candles, music, and a bed. Now he just has to figure out how to fix it. Hoping he hadn’t just pushed Kurt to far this time. Not really knowing why his control had slipped so bad this time. He was always able to control his needs, he had never gone that far with Kurt before.

At school the next day Blaine is glad that this is one of the days when he and Kurt don’t have any classes together. This happened once a week, were their classes didn’t line up. On every other day they are in at least 4, and if not then they have lunch period together. This was lunch period and instead of being in the cafeteria with Kurt he was hiding in the library until he can figure out what to say, how to fix this, how to grovel enough, how to apologize for pushing things way to far last night.

Blaine was trying to study for an English test he has today, but his mind just keeps wondering back to Kurt, what they were going to do. How he was going to fix it

“Blaine, can we talk” he heard Kurt ask looking up seeing that he was actually sitting beside him and he had missed it so into his own thoughts.

“Of course” Blaine says a little hesitant,

“I’m sorry” he heard Kurt say, looking at him he sees tears in his eyes

“Kurt baby, you don’t have anything to be sorry for, I am the one who needs to apologize to you. I was so out of line with you last night. I don’t want to ever push you to do something you aren’t ready for. And I know you aren’t ready, and even if you were that wasn’t the place for us to have our first time, I was stupid and I am sorry, will you please forgive me” Blaine said feeling tears gather in his eyes thinking about how he acted.

“That’s the thing Blaine, I think I am ready, and have been for a while, I wanted you so bad last night I really did, but I just didn’t want it to be there”

“Kurt, are you sure baby, I don’t want you to do it just because I want too, I need you to be ready before we take that step together.”

“I’m sure Blaine, I really am. I was wondering if your parents were going to be home tonight, maybe we can go to your house.”

Blaine just nods his head yes “they will be out of town for the next two days, Kurt are you really sure” he asks again giving Kurt time to change his mind if he wanted to

“No, I’m sure” Kurt said a little nervous but he knows deep down that Blaine will be gentle, he has no doubt on that.

They finish out the rest of the school day, both getting nervous as the end of the day comes closer. After final bell they go into glee club together, sit in the back whispering. When it is time to leave Blaine hold his hand out for Kurt and they walk out of school hand in hand.

Blaine stops at the drug store to buy some things he never has had to before. This would be the first time for both of them and Blaine was nervous. He quickly goes in and gets what he thinks they will need and then drives to his house with Kurt following behind him.

They were both very nervous, but together, it was amazing and perfect and everything they could have both ever dreamed of, because it was them, how could it be anything but…

oOoOo

They started having problems again around the time Mr. Shue decided to have everyone do a Whitney Houston song, to celebrate her life shortly after her death. Kurt and Rachel had decided when they graduated they would both be going to NYADA in New York, and had applied. They were waiting to see if they would make it to finalist so they could audition to get accepted in the dramatic arts department.

Blaine was very supportive of both of them and was happy for Kurt, he also secretly applied for NYADA himself, not for dramatics but for the musical theory department. Kurt went on and on about what the two of them could do once Blaine got to New York next year and if he made it to NYADA. Kurt just knew he was going to make it but was worried about Blaine not getting in, this hurt Blaine a little because in his heart he had no doubt Kurt would make it apparently Kurt didn’t have that kind of faith in him.

After a while, it had gotten to where the only thing Kurt wanted to talk about, or seem interested in was NYADA. They used to have long conversations about “them” what they would do after college graduation, where they would go, what they would do together. But, here lately, it seems like Kurt can’t wait to leave. It makes Blaine feel like Kurt is just biding his time, until he can not only leave Lima, but Blaine as well, almost like Kurt was putting up with him until he can find something or someone better.

Blaine is at his locker before glee, getting out the books he needs to take home with him, he has a lot of studying he needs to do today, when he looks up just in time to see Kurt walking up to him with that smile on his face, that Blaine loves. It always has a way to make his heart beat just a little bit faster. He wonders if he can convince Kurt to go out for a little while today after school so they could spend some quiet time together. It has been a while.

“Hey, I need to go to between the sheets after school today to look for sheet music, do you think you can come with me? I need to find something for the assignment for Mr. Shue, and while I am there I might look through the music for something to do for my NYADA audition if I ever get it” Kurt sighs leaning back on Blaine’s locker

Well, there went that idea Blaine quietly sighs already disappointed.

“I would like to, but you know we have family dinner on Wednesday. I was kind of hoping you would want to come with me, Mom told me I could invite you, we could always do the music store tomorrow.” Blaine said looking at Kurt hoping that he might decide to be with him instead, and they could both go looking for sheet music together.

“I wish I could but I really need to pin down what song to do for the assignment, and if I am going to be ready for this audition, so I can get to New York, I need to find just the right song to sing, why don’t you call your Mom and see if you can skip tonight and get together with them tomorrow instead, then you can go with me tonight.” Kurt asked

Blaine just looked at him; once again New York came before him, or them. Blaine didn’t technically have to go home tonight. He knew that his parents were actually out of town, he had planned on asking Kurt out to dinner and then maybe some quiet time just the two of them but Kurt once again puts NYADA before them, their relationship, maybe he should have said something but he is a little hurt. How many times had he asked Kurt out on a date on Friday night only to be told no because it was family night. Well, Wednesday was family night at the Anderson’s because that was usually a slow night for his parents where they didn’t have to be anywhere.

Instead of saying “We can just go together tomorrow” Blaine was supposed to just drop everything, and go. It almost felt like New York was the most important thing to Kurt. Blaine was just hurt at the thought that Kurt could so easily walk away from “them” their relationship as if it meant nothing.

oOoOo

By the next day Blaine was feeling better about everything, he had had a long talk with his cousin Andi last night she had reminded Blaine that this was the biggest thing to happen in Kurt’s life. “Of course he was excited about going to New York, following his dream, that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t miss you Blaine, it is just right now everything is still new for him”. She reminded Blaine how he was when he was getting ready to go to Dalton that, that was all he talked about it.

“If someone mentioned something like so and so had good oranges you would say oh they have oranges at Dalton too, try to cut him a little slack just because he is excited to go, doesn’t mean he is excited to leave you.”

“I know I am being stupid, I really do, it is just scary you know, I don’t want to lose him ” Blaine said

“I know it’s hard, but he is going to need some adjustment time” she said “This is going to be his first time he will be living out side of Lima, New York seems like this magical fix everything place, talk to him Blaine, explain how you feel. If you don’t tell him how you feel he can’t fix it, he can’t fix what he doesn’t know is wrong.

“I know, I have a bad habit of just bottling everything up, I’ll talk to him, I don’t mind him talking about New York, or NYADA I really don’t, but I am just worried when he gets there he is going to forget about me” Blaine finally admits, knowing just how petty that sounds.

When Blaine gets home he calls Santana, she has known Kurt longer than he has and just needs her feedback too. “Whatsup gel-o shot” she answers on the second ring, he talks to her about everything going on in his mind, and how he was feeling.

“Do you think he is just in such a big hurry to go to New York, or to get away from me” Blaine finally asks, not really sure if he wants the answer, but knows he needs it.

“Blaine no, I have known Kurt a long time, when he met you last year, he changed, he let his personality out more, almost like you helped free him. He loves you, and I know he is going to miss you, or would if you weren’t going with him”.

“Don’t doubt him until he gives you a reason to doubt, he is just really excited to go. You should have seen how him and Berry were last year when we went to New York. Right now everything is magical about that place, he feels like he will be able to be himself finally instead of hiding who he is, no one really knows the real Kurt except for the people he cares about, and the person on the top of that list is you” she says smiling “Just talk to him”

The next day after those conversations, he started feeling better, he stopped pulling away from Kurt, because he knows he has, maybe not intentionally but still. He tried to be more patient and understanding. They had a good day, they managed to sneak into one of the empty class rooms on the way to lunch and Blaine was able to kiss Kurt, something he had wanted to do all day, slowly running his hands down Kurt’s side down to his ass, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. “I love you” Blaine said in between kisses.

“I love you too, have I told you just how much I am glad you are here.” Kurt answered back kissing Blaine again. He had missed the closeness they always shared at Dalton, things had seemed different since Blaine got here, and hopefully they could get back on track.

“I am glad to be here too, I love being able to spend more time with you, and being able to do this” Blaine said before pulling Kurt back to him and diving in for another kiss, sucking on Kurt’s bottom lip and then whispering in his ear, “I need you so bad right now” they finally step apart to allow themselves time to cool off, all they need is to be caught doing what Blaine wants to do to Kurt in a school class room, once they get themselves under control they go to the lunch room and sit maybe a little closer together than usual.

After lunch they managed to grab the back table in Chem. Class it allows them to have a little bit more privacy because of the way the table sat, Blaine was still having problems keeping his hands to himself, he forced himself to only hold Kurt’s hand through most of the class occasionally allowing himself to rub his hand up Kurt’s thigh, loving the sharp intake of breath he hears from Kurt, but then he has to wiggle in his seat when the next thing he knows Kurt reaches out to squeeze his knee, and then move his hand up and gently squeeze something else. Blaine almost comes up out of his seat and has to cough to cover up the moan coming from his mouth.

“Mr. Anderson do you need to go and get a drink” Ms Nelson says stopping her lecture to look at him.

“No I am fine, but thank you, I’ll just take a cough drop” he hears a soft giggle beside him and shoots Kurt an evil look, because Kurt knows there is no way he could stand up right now without everyone seeing what condition he is in. “You are in so much trouble” Blaine whispers trying to adjust himself, he was now hard all over again.

“Bring it on” Kurt says with a grin bouncing out of his chair when the bell rings laughing at Blaine when he stands just a little slower, enjoying the fact that he could do that to him that he could turn him on with just a touch.

“Hey, what do you think about maybe going out tonight after glee? Maybe dinner and a movie” Blaine says he has missed being alone with Kurt, and he knew they needed to have a conversation.

“That would be great” Kurt said reaching out to squeeze Blaine’s hand quickly. What do you want to see” asks Blaine

“Does it really matter, it’s not like we will actually watch it right” Kurt says raising his eye brows

Blaine just smiles and laughs, “you do so have a point” he says looking around to make sure no one is watching he places a quick kiss on Kurt’s cheek. “I love you”

“I love you too” Kurt answers back before separating and heading in opposite directions.

They don’t have any more classes together for the rest of the day, so the next time he sees Kurt is when he walks in to the choir room. First thing Blaine notices is instead of Kurt sitting where they can sit together as usual, he is in a chair beside Sam. Blaine looks at Santana who raises her shoulders slowly so only Blaine notices, and raises her eyebrows as if to say “I don’t Know”

Since Santana and Brittany are sitting together, Blaine sits beside Mercedes. He just figures Kurt has something he wanted to talk to Sam about, and since they would be together tonight they didn’t necessarily have to sit together, even though Blaine always preferred that they did.

Brittany was the first to do her assignment that Mr. Shue had given them and she had everyone laughing. She had decided on Whitney’s song “Dance With Somebody” and she pulls people out of their seat and makes them dance with her, everyone seems to be enjoying it except, Blaine notices, Kurt, who seems to be more interested in his phone than Brittany’s performance, keeping it in his hand which is unusual, and he keeps looking down at it.

When Santana and Rachel get up to sing “So Emotional” for their part of the assignment Kurt pays no attention at all. He is too busy smiling and laughing at his phone and from what Blaine can tell texting someone, occasionally showing something to Sam. Blaine wonders when they became such good friend. He doesn’t know why, but he has a bad feeling about the whole thing.

After glee Kurt is acting normal again, Blaine begins to think he was just misunderstanding, jumping conclusions about things that weren’t there. “Hey, I have a question for you” Kurt says walking up to Blaine. “Dad and Carol won’t be home tonight because dad has some fund raiser in DC do you want to come over instead of going out, that way we can spend some time alone together.”

“I’d love that” says Blaine, the thought of alone time with Kurt even if was just to have some cuddle time, making him happy. He could really use that especially after the day he had had.

They head to Kurt’s house and straight to his room; they barely make it in, before Kurt is all over him. Blaine loves it. They make love slow and easy, well as slow and easy as Kurt would allow it. After Kurt got his release, Blaine shortly follows buried deep inside of him, leaning down to kiss his sweet lips. Blaine would be happy to spend the rest of the night just laying there

They kissed and messed around for a little while longer, then decided to take a shower, Blaine still wasn’t ready to let Kurt go, so the shower lasted longer than normal because all Blaine wanted to do was hold Kurt, kissing him, rubbing up and down his body, gently pushing him into the shower wall to get just a little closer to him, he can’t seem to get close enough to shake the rest of the angst and worry he had felt during glee class away. He needed Kurt to show him everything was still ok with them. More than just the frantic lovemaking they had shared.

Once they were dried off and dressed again, Kurt went down stairs to get them some drinks and snacks for when they are watching the movie. Kurt had no more walked out of the room when Blaine started hearing back to back text messages, buzz, buzz, buzz coming from Kurt’s phone.

Blaine ignored it as long as he could but then the doubts from today’s glee club meeting returned and he did something he never would have normally done, he looked in Kurt’s phone, and what he sees shocks him. Kurt has been sexting someone named Chandler for the last few days, and then Blaine wonders if the franticness of their lovemaking earlier was because of him or Chandler. Blaine didn’t really like that thought at all.

When Kurt walks back in the room Blaine is still holding Kurt’s phone looking at it with sad eyes, “Who is Chandler” he says looking at Kurt, still hoping that this isn’t real.

“Why are you going through my phone”

“I’m not going through your phone, it’s just that it keeps buzzing because someone named Chandler won’t stop texting you”. Blaine reads off a few of the texts, and Kurt asks for his phone back.

Kurt looks at Blaine like he is crazy, “Why are you getting so upset, this is just texting”

“This is cheating Kurt” he says still looking at Kurt

“I’m not cheating I promise it is just texting, he pays attention to me, makes me feel good” Kurt said

“So I don’t do that, I don’t make you feel good Kurt” Blaine said feeling more and more hurt by the minute. “I transferred schools to be with you, so you would know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, that doesn’t make you feel good”

“I didn’t mean it like that Blaine, this is just texting I swear that is all it is” Kurt said

“No Kurt it’s not just texting, if you looked through my phone and you saw something like that, say from Sebastian, would you think that was just texting” Blaine asked

“That is different Blaine because you now how I feel about Sebastian, he wants you, he wants to take you away from me, texting Chandler was fun, being flirted with was flattering, when was the last time you complimented me, or said I was special”.

“If you are upset by something I do, or don’t do, talk to me Kurt, tell me your unhappy but don’t cheat on me because this” Blaine says holding Kurt’s phone so he can see it “is cheating”

“Damn it Blaine, why are you being difficult **UUUGGGGG THIS ISNT CHEATING,** I’m sorry your upset, but everything is ok” Kurt says once again like Blaine’s feeling mean nothing before snatching his phone out of Blaine’s hand

“You are wrong Kurt, you are so very wrong” Blaine says turning around and walking out Kurt’s bedroom door barely able to hold himself together, not sure how he managed to make it out the front door before breaking down.

He goes home and calls Santana and tells her everything “Was I wrong in the way I was feeling, if you read those messages in Brittany’s phone would you think it was a form of cheating. Remember how crazy he got when I was texting with Sebastian, and that was all pg13 and never once tried to hide them, as a matter of fact I let him read them”

“I know Blaine, I don’t know what to tell you, I saw how he was acting, maybe he was just concerned that you guys weren’t spending as much time together as you did at Dalton, not that that is an excuse, but maybe like he said it just made him feel good having someone else to talk to.”

“San, you know I can’t spend as much time with him as I did at Dalton, even though I would rather spend every minute of every day with him, I have a two hour drive to school and back every day, since I am taking my second English class instead of having free period I have to study at home. I try to do some first thing in the morning, but the bulk has to be done after school. Especially if I want to keep my grades up enough to even get into NYADA, I have cut all my extracurricular down to just glee already”

“Blaine you might have to just bite the bullet and tell him about graduation, to make him understand”

“I’ll think about it, oh well guess I need to get some studying done, hope he likes my song tomorrow” Blaine says before hanging up the phone.

The next day at glee even after his talk with Santana he is still a little angry and hurt. So he changes the song he was going to sing. His first choice had been “All the Man That I Need” because that was what Kurt was to him, but instead decided on “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” which is almost exactly the words Kurt had said the night before “I’m sorry your upset, but it’s ok” almost like Blaine was stupid for feeling what he felt.

He had already handed the band the music for the song he would be doing “This song is for everyone that has ever been cheated on” the music starts.

Friday night you and your boys went out to eat  
Then they hung out  
But you came home around three

“I didn’t cheat on you” Kurt says with a loud sigh

Yes you did  
If six of y'all went out  
Then four of you were really cheap  
Cause only two of you had dinner  
I found your credit card receipt

Kurt looked at him like HE was the one in the wrong, which just upset Blaine even more.

It's not right  
But it's okay  
I'm gonna make it anyway  
Pack your bags up and leave  
Don't you dare come running back to me  
It's not right  
But it's okay  
I'm gonna make it anyway  
Close the door behind you  
Leave your key  
I'd rather be alone  
Than unhappy

At this point Kurt looks at him like he is crazy

Blaine finishes the song, and then turns around and walks toward the door without looking back, just before getting there he heard Santana say “SNAP” how things had gotten like this he didn’t know, how they gotten to this point he didn’t understand. Blaine heard Kurt calling him, trying to get his attention, but keeps walking because if he stops to talk he will say something he knows he will regret. He needs time to cool off before facing Kurt again.

He goes to his car and heads home, thankful that his parents are away again. He really didn’t want to face them right now. He felt beyond stupid, and hurt, and just wanted to crawl into his bed, cover his head, and just forget.

Blaine had been home for two hours when he heard the doorbell ring. He went to answer it knowing who it would be, when he saw Kurt he let him in.

“Blaine, I am so, so, so sorry. I was stupid, Please forgive me, and I’m not sure why I did it. I love you” Kurt said crying

“I love you too Kurt, but that really hurt, I would never do that to you” Blaine whispered

“I know, and I don’t have an excuse and I blamed you, and I was the one in the wrong, please don’t be mad at me.

“Kurt I’m not mad, like I said I am hurt, and I don’t know what is going on with us, when we were at Dalton we were so much closer” Blaine looks at Kurt for a minute and can’t stand him crying. “Come here” he says softly, opening his arms for Kurt to walk into, hugging him tight. “Kurt, I love you please, if something upsets you, if I do something wrong, please come to me and let me know. If I don’t know there is a problem, I can’t fix it. I need you to talk to me please”.

“Can we go sit down and talk now” Kurt asks wiping his eyes

Blaine reaches out and takes Kurt’s hand and guides him to the living room, they sit on the couch facing each other.

“Blaine you aren’t doing anything wrong, I promise, I think it was just me, I don’t know what is going on, but the closer it gets to graduation, the closer it gets to me having to live without you. When I met Chandler it was just nice having someone who really didn’t know me, listen to me, that is how the texting started, then we started joking, and then into what you read. I messaged him and asked him not to text me again.”

“Kurt I would never ask you not to be friends with someone, you know that.”

“I know but being friends with him wasn’t worth the potential of losing you, I can’t lose you Blaine”

Blaine pulls Kurt to him and holds on to him tight. They both needed this “I love you so much” Blaine whispers in Kurt’s ear, rubbing his hand up and down Kurt’s back soothingly. “We are going to be ok; we just have to learn to talk to each other.”

“I love you too Blaine,” Kurt said snuggled into Blaine’s side feeling better.

“Ok” Blaine says a little hesitantly “I actually have something I need to talk to you about. I am not trying to hurt you or make you think that I am not 100% proud of you, proud of what you want to do, ready to support you always. But here lately all we ever talk about is you going to New York, how awesome NYADA is going to. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I am happy to talk to you about that, but we used to talk about us, what we are going to do after graduation, we talked about OUR future, where we wanted to live, where we wanted to go. We always talked about us, I am not saying that I don’t want to talk about other things, I do but… here lately it feels like you can’t wait to get away from me”

“I sometimes wonder that maybe I am smothering you, do you wish now that I had stayed at Dalton, so you could spend your senior year with your friends and not have to worry about me” Blaine asked looking down at his hands, not wanting to look at Kurt’s face to see what his answer might be.

“Blaine no, I am so happy that you are here, the last 3 months of school last year were hell. I missed you so much, and I just wished you were here with me. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were in my way, or that I am not so very happy that you are here. “I’m also sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t important in my life. I swear, I don’t want to be away from you, remember I said last year I was never going to tell you good bye. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I was pushing you away. New York and NYADA are going to be fun and great, but nothing like they will be when you get there. I promise you will be missed every day.

They stayed there just hugging each other, both still feeling just a little insecure, needing the warmth and the love that they got from each other. Both feeling like they had almost lost the most important thing in their life. They stay just holding each other until they notice it is getting dark outside and Kurt needs to head home. Blaine walks him to his car, pulling him back into a hug, and placing a gentle kiss on Kurt’s lips. “I love you so much. Call me when you get home ok”

“I will, love you too” Kurt says placing another kiss on Blaine’s mouth before getting in the car and backing out of the driveway.

Blaine walks into the house feeling so much better. They were going to be ok.

oOoOo


	2. Caught

oOoOo

Blaine was in shock, Kurt had cheated on him. When Blaine had noticed all the time that Kurt spent on his phone texting he got a little concerned especially when he had seen some of text messages Kurt had gotten from someone named Chandler, but Kurt said it wasn’t cheating, it was texting, nothing had happened.

Blaine let it go, he wasn’t happy about it, didn’t agree with it, but he let it go. To him it was cheating. If Blaine and Sebastian had texted like that he bet Kurt wouldn’t think it was nothing. They had made up, Kurt said he wouldn’t text Chandler any more, and things seemed to go back to normal, **BUT** what he had just seen and heard wasn’t innocent.

That day had started out bad; he woke up late, because he had stayed up late to study for his Spanish class today. He had been trying to spend more time with Kurt and in the process hadn’t been keeping up with his classes the way he should.

Then getting into his car he had forgotten he had needed to stop and get gas. So that made him even later, and then he got his first B ever in Trig. He had been letting things slide. He knew his parents were going to kill him, not that he was all that happy with the grade himself, he should have aced it and he would have if he had been studying instead of going to Kurt’s most days after school, and then getting home late and usually too tired to do anything beyond eating dinner and spending a little time with his parents and then climbing into bed. He has to keep his grades up if he is to have a hope in hell of getting into NYADA next year.

Blaine was standing in front of his locker Thursday when he saw Kurt walking up to him with a big smile on his face.

“Hey, you want to come over after school today, we can have a movie marathon” “aaannnnnndddd Dad and Carol are in DC tonight at another fundraiser so we can have some time alone”.

Blaine really wanted to say yes, but he had a history paper due tomorrow, plus a test in Spanish, and both of his English classes. He had to study. “Ugg I wish I could but I need to do some serious studying tonight and I have a paper due tomorrow” Between glee rehearsals, getting ready for sectionals, and stealing every minute he could with Kurt he had gotten behind, and he also not looking forward to going home tonight and telling his parents about the B he got either.

Blaine was halfway home when he realized how stupid he was. He didn’t want to miss out on spending time with Kurt. He could go see him for a while and then go home and just stay up late again to get the paper done, and the Spanish and English tests shouldn’t be a problem either, he was acing those classes so the test shouldn’t be a problem.

With a smile on his face thinking about seeing Kurt and maybe making up for some time they had missed, he turns around and heads back to Lima, liking his decision more and more when he remembers just how long it has been since he and Kurt had last been intimate. With a father who owned a gun, and a quarterback for a brother, private time at the Hummel house wasn’t always available. They usually went to Blaine’s house but both his parents had been on vacation the last two weeks so that hadn’t been an option either.

When Blaine gets to Lima, he decided to stop at the Lima Bean, he would get Kurt and himself a cup of coffee and then they can watch a couple of movies and get their cuddle on. That was one of Blaine’s favorite things to do with Kurt. Yes he enjoyed sex, what teenage boy didn’t, but the cuddling before and after was really his favorite part, that closeness you just can’t seem to get any other time.

He pulls up and parks in front of the Lima Bean and notices right away that Kurt’s car is in the parking lot, with a big smile on his face he walks in thinking about how surprised Kurt was going to be. Blaine turned out to be the one surprised and not in the good way. He starts walking up behind Kurt; he is going to give him a quick hug before getting them a coffee that is when he notices Kurt isn’t alone. He is sitting with another guy, still not worried because Kurt has a lot of friends, it isn’t until he hears what Kurt says, and sees what Kurt does that makes his blood run cold.

“I know”, “I can’t wait to get to New York either, to go to the front of the Plaza and reenact the end of the way we were, the way you suggested, and also to get rid of some baggage before heading there if you know what I mean.” Kurt had been saying

“What about your boyfriend, won’t he mind” says the other boy

“Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend anymore” Kurt had said next and it felt like he had just ripped the heart out of Blaine’s chest, and knocked him to his knees.

“I thought you had to slow down on texting me because your boyfriend found out and went all psycho jealous about it, and that, that was why we couldn’t see each other as often as I wanted us too” aaahhhh so this was Chandler.

“I did, but that is over, we got to where we didn’t spend a lot time together anymore, and since I was moving at the end of the year anyway, it was just easier to go ahead and break things off with him now, you know how hard it is to maintain long distance relationships, I have watched the notebook over a hundred times”.

“He cried, and got really upset, but I had to just do it, like they say just rip that band aid off, so I can now see you as often as you want to see me.” Kurt continued, and then he had done the one thing that Blaine never thought he would, yes the words hurt, but could possibly have been forgiven with a damn good explanation, but watching Kurt leaned up out of his chair and kiss Chandler in a way he wouldn’t even kiss Blaine in public, he laid a long kiss on Chandler with a lot of tongue, and no hesitation.

Without saying a word, Blaine turned around and walked out having to brace himself more than once on the back of a chair to keep from doubling over, unable to believe what he had just heard and seen. Kurt was not only still very much in contact with Chandler he had apparently been seeing him as well. Possibly on the days he had told Blaine his dad needed help at his shop

Somehow he manages to hold on to his composure until he got to his car. After the words he had just heard, and what he had just seen, he would be damned before he ever let Kurt see just how hurt he really was. He cried in the Lima Bean parking lot for 10 minutes before starting his car and heading home. He would never forgive Kurt, because now the hurt had shifted to anger and all bets were off

oOoOo

The first thing Blaine did was go to Santana’s house. He knocks on the door, she takes one look at him and pulls him into his arms without even asking what was wrong first, and for some things words aren’t needed.

She takes him to her bedroom and makes him sit down, because from the look of him he could very well fall apart at any minute. “Blaine, sweetie what is wrong?” she says rubbing up and down his arm.

“He is cheating on me” is all he can whisper.

“Who is cheating, not Kurt” she said just shaking her head not wanting to believe what he was saying

“Yes, I saw him myself, you know I messed up on my trig and I wasn’t really looking forward to telling my parents about it. Kurt wanted me to come over tonight; Burt and Carol were going to gone so we could spend some time together. I had to tell him no, I have tests in both of my English classes, also a test in Spanish and that stupid paper. I really needed to study tonight”

“I started thinking that I am actually acing English and Spanish so the only thing I really needed to think about was the paper. I figured I would spend a few hours with Kurt and then go home and get it done. I stopped to get us a coffee and was going to surprise him. He was at the Lima Bean with that guy he had been texting, talking about how he broke up with me because we weren’t spending time together anymore; apparently judging by something Chandler said they have been seeing each other.”

“You know, all of that hurt, but I might still would have forgiven him if I hadn’t watched him reach out and kiss him in the Lima Bean. Santana, you know how he is with me in public how could he do that” By the time he was finished his face was covered in tears.

“What are you going to do now?” she asked so sad for her friend

“Well I guess since I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have a reason to be at McKinley anymore other than you, I am going to transfer back to Dalton”

“Oh Blaine, I am going to miss you, but I understand, I really do” she said pulling him into a tight hug before walking to the door with him and watching him leave. Shaking her head, still unable to believe Kurt had been that stupid.

The next thing Blaine did, when he got home was talk to his parents about transferring back to Dalton and that he wanted to board. He knew that to be on the Warbler counsel you had to board and since Thad had left, after talking to Wes on the way home, he had a really good shot at it since no one really wanted it.

They questioned why he wanted to transfer back, he simply told him that he realized that Dalton was really his best option for college placement, and he missed his friends, since they hadn’t really wanted the transfer to begin with, they were happy to let him transfer back. They drove to Dalton the next morning and talked to the dean about the transfer, and about the tests he had taken so he could skip junior year and take senior classes except AP English hoping they would recognize them and let him skip to senior year at Dalton as well.

The Dean had no problem with it letting him move straight to senior year, and offered to let him test out of junior English not sure why he couldn’t have tested out of it to begin with. He was then set up in Alexander Hall which is the dorm all the warblers were in, it would make it easier to catch up to them on where they are with sectionals, he would transfer back Tuesday morning, he planned on going to McKinley one more time so he could clear out his locker and tell a few people goodbye. Since they hadn’t even started talking set lists at McKinley, he couldn’t be considered a spy, not that he would have spied to begin with. But Blaine was bound and determined that the Warblers would win this year. Screw Finn Hudson and one Kurt Hummel.

Blaine ignored all calls from Kurt Friday and then over the weekend, the only person he talked to was Santana, who called him multiple times to check on him. His parents followed the same lead when Kurt called the home number several times, and even showed up at his door Sunday afternoon. His parents told Kurt he wasn’t home with every call and visit.

Blaine had finally broke down and told them that they had broken up. His parents were shocked but supported Blaine, they even invited Santana over to spend the night with Blaine on Saturday after they found out about the breakup, she stayed with him from 8pm on Saturday until she had to leave to get ready for School on Monday.

Blaine got up Monday morning and took a lot of care with his looks; he shaved and then got in the shower. When he got out, he towel dried and then before his hair dried too much he added a new hair product he had picked up after he got his haircut Saturday. The hair dresser had noticed the gel he used to shellac his hair in place to keep it manageable, and had said it was a sin to slick back such gorgeous curls he showed him a hair paste that was made for curly hair that controlled the frizz but allowed it to look more natural.

He then walked out with the guy’s number in his back pocket. Blaine would wait until he officially broke up with Kurt before using it. “He” didn’t cheat. But that guy really was cute.

After getting his haircut, he went shopping with his mom to get all the stuff he would need for his dorm. His parents had agreed to allow him to board, but he had to come home every Wednesday night for family dinner and then on the weekends.

After Blaine fixed his hair he walked in to his room and started dressing, he slipped on a pair of boxer briefs a white button down shirt, a pair of dark blue slacks a red and blue striped tie, and his Warbler jacket he stepped in to his black dress shoes (minus the socks for today of course), he had decided last night, he was going to go to McKinley say goodbye to everyone clear out his locker and go out with style.

Blaine parks in the school lot with enough time to go tell principal Figgins that he will be transferring back to Dalton effective Tuesday, and then walks down to the choir room, sits down at the piano and starts playing to warm up. He sees when everyone starts walking in, and notices how they look at him, first because of the hair, and then because of the Dalton uniform. By the time Kurt walks in, Blaine had just started to play and sing the song he had intended “HIM” to hear

There was a time when we were down and out.

There was a place when we were starting over.

We let the bough break

We let the heartache in

Who's sorry now?

There was a world when we were standing still

And for a moment we were separated. –

And then you found **_him_** you let the stranger in

Blaine sees Kurt stop by the piano, like he is waiting for Blaine stop playing so they could talk. But Blaine just kept playing and singing completely ignoring Kurt.

Leaving me pain and sorrow –

Losin' you now

Wonderin' why

Where will I be tomorrow

Forever more than what we are

To be without each other

We’ll be remembering well

After a few minutes he sees Kurt go and sit in one of the seats in the front row looking worried and sitting on his hands, biting his lip. . Blaine continues to the end of the song

There was a time when we were down and out

There was a place when we were starting over

We let the bough break

we let the heartache in

was there a moment when I cut you down?

Played around

What have I done I only apologize for being as they say

The last to know –

It has to show when someone is in your eyes.

What kind of fool tears it apart?

Looking at Kurt he finishes the song before standing up and facing everyone. “Well guys, Ummm, I guess you can tell by the uniform that I am transferring back to Dalton, I wanted to come by and tell everyone goodbye first.”

Everybody stood up and shouted “WAIT” “WHAT”

And then Kurt looked at him “Blaine isn’t that something you could have discussed with me, you know, your “boyfriend” before making that kind of decision, I tried calling you all weekend?”

Blaine looks Kurt in the eyes “Well Kurt, that is the strangest thing, you see I stopped in the Lima Bean Thursday to get me and “my boyfriend” a cup of coffee, but to my surprise I saw him sitting with another guy and then I heard him tell “Chandler” that he didn’t have a boyfriend anymore, so I just assumed that meant that if he didn’t have a boyfriend anymore then I didn’t have one either, so I didn’t think I needed to discuss this with anyone, but my parents and the Dean of Admissions.”

Everyone got quiet, and looked between Kurt and Blaine trying to figure out what was going on. Santana for once just sat there not saying a word, but shooting go to hell looks at Kurt.

Blaine looked Kurt in the eyes, proud that he held it together. There were no tears, he felt like he was cried out. He just stared at Kurt for a few more minutes still not believing that this was happening. He had loved him so much, well, and still did, and would be lying if he said different. But he would be damned if he gave Kurt the satisfaction of seeing that, seeing just how hurt he really was, how much this was killing him.

“Sorry this is so short noticed guy’s but I have really enjoyed getting to know you, and wish you all the best” With that Blaine walks up and hugs Santana bye “I talk to you later” he whispers and then he turns around and walks out the door, not turning back, hearing the shocked whispers behind him.

Blaine walked to his locker and started pulling everything out, whatever was his he put in his messenger bag and the rest he would turn in to Principal Figgins. He saw the pictures of Kurt and himself hanging up on his locker door, and starts pulling them down and steps over to the trashcan and throws them away, just managing to stop himself from breaking down.

This is when he hears Kurt beside him; he looks over at him and sees he is crying. Blaine acted like seeing him crying didn’t affect him, but it did, very much. “Blaine can we please talk”

“What is there to talk about Kurt, I remember when you were texting him, I told you that if you were unhappy with me, with US, then talk to me, don’t cheat.” “You might not have thought texting was cheating, but to me it was”. “But, because I loved you, and wanted US to work so badly, I let it go”. “But, standing behind you at the Lima Bean, hearing the words you said, and then watching you stand up and kiss him like that, that I can’t let that go, I also can’t let go of the fact that apparently you have been going out with him. Probably on the days you told me you had to work with your dad.” “I bet if you walked in the choir room right now and talked to Finn, I bet you anything that he would tell you “YES” that was cheating.

“Blaine please listen to me, I am so sorry that happened” “I was just so upset that you blew me off that day because you had to “study” you could have done that during free period, it felt like we were spending less and less time together”

Blaine just looks at him and shakes his head “If that was the only day, then why did he say that he wasn’t able to see you as often as he liked, which makes me think it has happened more than once. As for your other issue, I don’t have a free period and haven’t since I transferred here, I use that period to do junior English.” “You see, I missed you so much during the last 3 months of school last year that I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle you being in New York, and me being here without you for a year”

“My first week here I tested out of all eleventh grade classes and started taking twelfth grade, the only thing they wouldn’t let me test out of, was junior English class so I started taking it during what would have been my free period.” “I was going to surprise you and graduate with you, so we could start our lives together right after graduation.’

“Blaine, I am so, so sorry, I didn’t know” Kurt said crying harder

“Kurt that is why I told you, if you were unhappy to talk to me, then we can figure everything out together. I would have rather told you, and ruined the surprise than to lose you, I would have done anything to stop that”

Blaine continued to look at him, he brought his hand out to cup Kurt’s cheek like he has a million times in the past, rubbing Kurt’s cheek with his thumb looking him in the eyes. “So… I think for now…, we need to officially break up, what you did hurt me Kurt, not just you kissing him but, you saying that we weren’t even together anymore hurt, I have never denied you.”

“When Sebastian started his shit, I told him right away that I had a boyfriend, I was so proud to be yours, and even prouder to be able to say you were mine” “I just wish you felt the same” Blaine slowly moved his arm down, shut his locker door and took a deep breath “Bye Kurt, I do love you, but I just can’t be with you right now” Blaine turned, and walked away without looking back wishing with every step that he was walking towards Kurt one more time, instead of walking away forever.

“Blaine PLEASE”, he heard Kurt yell, but didn’t stop, refusing to stop, not willing to allow him to see the tears now running down his face

oOoOo

The Warblers went on that year and won sectionals, beating out New Directions, going on to win Regional’s and then Nationals, everybody was happy with the wins, everyone but Blaine, because that just reminded him of what he lost.

oOoOo


	3. Funeral

*** smut warning OC character death***

Blaine was heading back to Ohio. He hadn't been back in five years, not since graduation. But today, he had no choice. His Uncle had died, and he had to go for the funeral, that would be the only thing that would take him back. His parents had moved to California to be near Cooper after him and his wife had their first child, since Blaine was living in New York, they had no reason to stay in Westerville.

"Honey, listen to me, there is no reason for you to come with me, you didn't know Uncle Don and you have work". Blaine says walking up to Marc pulling him into a tight hug before kissing long and deep. "I am going to miss you, but I will be ok"

"Blaine, I don't like the idea of you going back to Ohio alone" Marc said pouting.

"Honey, I won't be alone, Mom, Dad, Cooper and Santana will be there" Blaine says not missing the look Marc gives him at the mention of Santana.

They didn't really get along. Marc didn't really care for Santana, since she always seemed closer to Blaine than he ever could be, and Blaine didn't hide that fact. Blaine had always let it be known that Santana was his person, the one person he knew he could trust. Santana told you like it was whether he wanted to hear it or not.

Blaine always listened to her, and contrary to what Marc believed Santana had never tried to get between them, she just always told Blaine to watch his back when it came to Marc she seemed to have taken an instant dislike to him and Santana in full Santana mode had no filters and always let Marc know how she felt.

"I don't know why she gets to go with you and I don't, I am your boyfriend" Marc says

"Marc, honey Santana has been in my life since my sophomore year in high school; she knew and was friends with Uncle Don.

"I know Blaine, but sometimes, I feel like you are in a relationship with her, not me" he says still pouting

Blaine so loved it when Marc pouted. He thought it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen and he reached out, grabbed Marcs hand and dragged him back to the bedroom to show him, how much that pout turned him on, and to remind him just who he was very much in a relationship with.

When they got even with the bed Blaine quickly started undressing Marc, before undressing himself. He starts kissing him on his lips hard and fast before working his way up Marc's jaw line placing kisses as he goes until he reaches his earlobe and starts gently sucking and nibbling on it, knowing what that does to him he then kisses down his neck to the dip where the neck and shoulder meet. He bites down, knowing just how much that turns Marc on, sucking and marking him, feeling as Marc gets harder and pushes his hips into Blaine.

Blaine pushes Marc down on to the bed before crawling in on top of him; almost slamming his hips down, rubbing his erection into Marc's, their kisses become hot, deep and passionate quickly, and has Blaine reaching out to the nightstand for the lube and a condom. He quickly works on Marc to prep him as much as he will allow. Marc usually can't handle that for long, and is soon telling Blaine to just take him.

Blaine quickly slips on a condom, lubing himself up before entering Marc slowly at first giving him a little time to adjust but before long he is frantically slamming into him and Marc is meeting him thrust for thrust. Their sex was usually fast and hard, very rarely loving and gentle. That is the way Marc prefers it, and Blaine is oh so happy to oblige.

Blaine doesn't make love anymore, and hasn't since his senior year in high school, he had sex and there was a big difference and he above others knew that. Because at one time he had loved, and found out firsthand what love caused and refused to get that close to anyone ever again.

He liked Marc and did care about him, he liked the life they shared, and the things they did but no love was involved at all, well at least on Blaine's side and he had always been honest with Marc and everyone he had ever dated. Santana tells him all the time she is worried about him, and that he was jaded, and maybe he was. He had been really hurt by Kurt, and he couldn't allow himself to go there again. That had almost destroyed him, nothing was worth that.

Blaine had always thought that Kurt would be his first and his last, his one and only. He learned the hard way that life can play cruel jokes on a person.

When Blaine had walked out of McKinley that day a hundred years ago, he had gone straight to Santana's; she had shown up within minutes figuring that is where he would head. He had cried on her shoulder for hours, and she had let him. Below the bitchy snarkiness, Santana had a soft heart especially where Blaine was concerned.

She had raided her dad's liquor cabinet and had allowed him to get drunk, making sure he was sober enough the next morning for him to go home, and dress and get to Dalton in time for classes.

She even convinced him to call Jarrod who was the cute hairdresser he had met right before breaking up with Kurt, and after two dates he had his first casual sexual experience. It was ok, but he did prefer some kind of attachment, with his partner. So Jarrod had been his one and only casual experience, his first, first not shared with Kurt

Blaine had met Marc when he was a sophomore in college. They dated for a year and then Blaine asked him to move in and they had been living together for 2 years and things were good. They had so much in common from favorite movies, books and music.

"Ugg, I don't want to get out of this bed" Blaine said an hour later looking up at Marc, leaning in to place a tender kiss on his lips "I need to go though, if I am going to make my flight" He said before pulling him into a tight hug, sighing , rolling over and crawling out of bed. He took a shower, and quickly dressed and fixed his hair. He went over and leaned down on the bed and placed a long gentle kiss on Marc's lips before standing up, grabbing his suitcase and heading for the front door, he hears the doorbell ring right before he gets to it.

"Good morning Gel-o shot" Santana said when she walked in; she did occasionally still call him that, especially when Marc was around, because she knew just how badly he hated it. She looked towards the bedroom and saw Marc still in bed and smiled "Wanky, got ya some Anderson? That's my boy" she said smacking him on the shoulder, once again absolutely no filter

Blaine just looked at her smiling "Santana PLEASE" he said barely able to stop the laughter bubbling up inside him. He turned around and looked at Marc "I'll call you when we land and I should be home next Saturday" He said looking at Marc for a few minutes, not really wanting to leave him especially for 9 days. He would miss him, and Blaine still wasn't one to cheat.

Blaine and Santana were meeting his mom, dad and Cooper in Westerville at their old house. They didn't sell it before moving to California, his mom said she had too much of a sentimental attachment to it, she loved that house, she even had a cleaning crew come in once a week to clean, and someone to keep up with the lawn, Blaine hated that house, it had memories for him and not all were good.

They caught a cab from the airport to his mom and dad's, and the first thing he saw in the driveway was his old car. He thought they would have sold it by now. It wasn't really old; they had bought it for him new when he transferred to McKinley.

Santana smiled when she saw it, she had spent a lot of time in that car with Blaine "wow, I can't believe they kept the Mustang, I figured it was long gone."

"Yea me too", Blaine said walking around it, it still looked brand new someone had been taking care of it for him.

"Santana, are you in a big hurry to get back to New York after we do everything here" Blaine asks

"No, why"

"What would you think about taking this puppy back with us, instead of flying home, maybe driving?" Blaine asked

"That sounds like fun if you will let me drive it a little too" she said with a big grin

"That can be arranged" Blaine said laughing

"Aaannnddd can I maybe borrow it one day and go see Brit while she is town, she is normally busy at MIT but she is home this week visiting her parents

"Oh and I guess you really only want to "SEE" her right" Blaine laughs before adding "Wanky"

She shoots him one of Santana looks that would scare a normal man "funny Anderson, funny. Can I ask what made you decide to take the car home now, why you didn't when you first moved?

"I guess because when I moved I didn't feel settled, now I do, and it would be nice to just walk to my car when I want to go somewhere instead of waiting for a cab, and carrying my equipment would be so much easier as well"

They head to the front door, Santana and Blaine walked in the house and the first person they see is Cooper, "Hey squirt" "Where is Marc, I figured he would be with you"

"He wanted to but he has work that he couldn't get out of" Blaine said.

"Well that sucks, sorry" Cooper says

"No problem, he hasn't really met most of the relatives yet, and I didn't want his first time to be at a funeral" "I still can't believe Uncle Don is dead" Blaine says he had always liked Uncle Don, when Blaine had first came out Don was one of the ones that supported him, didn't have a problem with it and had also helped his parents adjust.

"I know," he said then looking at Santana "and how is my favorite Latina" Cooper says hugging Santana. He had always liked her because she had been there for Blaine, helping him through everything when no one else seemed to be able too.

"Doing good Coop, how are Sarah and the girls" she asked him

"They are all doing good, but growing like weeds" he said smiling with pride talking about his 2 little girls

"Ya know" Cooper said looking at Blaine, "I just don't see why we have to be here for the reading of the will, the funeral is Saturday, but we have to be here until next Friday, I just wonder what that is about."

"Not sure" Blaine said, to the best of his knowledge his uncle didn't really have much to need a will, and what he did have would go to Blaine and Coopers dad as Don's next of kin. He had never married or had kids. He had always treated Cooper and Blaine as his.

It felt weird being back in this house. He had moved from here the end of his senior year and moved to New York, and he hadn't been back since. He had been accepted at NYADA, for their Musical Theory program, he had originally thought about not going until he realized that the drama department and musical theory department were in separate buildings so he didn't have to worry about running into anyone he didn't want to see. He then heard that Kurt hadn't been accepted into the program from Santana. Even though he didn't want her too most of the time, she still updated him about Kurt occasionally.

He had loved NYADA, he loved that with their 2 year program he would graduate sooner than if he went to another college, he had also loved the classes. After graduation, he was offered a chair with the New York Symphony, for violin one of the 5 instruments he could play. The symphony had always been his dream job, and with his graduation from such a prestigious program he was able to get it.

Last year he had been promoted to second violinist and sometimes couldn't believe his luck. He had the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect boyfriend, and best friend anyone could ask for. When Blaine met Marc, it took him a long time before he could get close to him. They had gone out 6 times before he would let Mark kiss him and 7 almost 8 months before they did anything else.

It had taken him a while to get adjusted to Marc, the way he was. He was openly affectionate always. When they are out he is either holding Blaine's hand, or has his arm around him. This had been so opposite of his relationship with Kurt, or anyone else Blaine had dated but, Blaine had been raised in Ohio, which is a whole different world from New York were Marc was from. The adjustment time took a while, but was fun.

Blaine liked that, in New York, if he felt like kissing Marc; he just did it, no matter where they were. That was the reason Blaine hadn't really wanted Marc to come with him. He wasn't used to being treated the way people would treat him in this homophobic, back water state. He wanted to do what he needed to do and get out.

Blaine and Santana went up to his room, she would be sleeping with him the way she always had when she had stayed here in the past. They unpacked their things and then Santana walked around looking at everything. She hadn't been in this room in a long time, and the last time she was, it hadn't been a happy occasion, then either, but for a different reason.

The last time she was here, was right after Blaine broke up with Kurt. After Blaine left McKinley that day she had followed him to her house, allowed him to get drunk off of his ass. She stayed up watching him all night, making sure he was safe, and then allowing him time in the morning to sober up before bringing him here, waiting for him to change clothes and leave for Dalton.

Once he was out of site she had cried, she cried for her two friends because they were both hurting, and she knew there was no way she could fix it. The last time Blaine himself had been in here was the day he graduated from Dalton, he had left out the next morning at 8 am, to catch a plane. It was like stepping into a time capsule for both of them.

All his old pictures hung on the corkboard by his desk. He walked over to them and just laughed at some of the ones hanging, showing them to Santana. Thad had taken a picture of one of the many furniture jumps Blaine had done. He had always enjoyed his time with the Warblers.

Then there were the pictures he had taken during his brief time at McKinley, Blaine standing there beside Kurt, smiling, looking happy and in love, 2 weeks later that smile would be knocked off his face forever. He doesn't really know why the picture was still hanging there.

Walking over to his bed, and sitting down, there on his night stand, still turned over, glass side down was the black and white picture Kurt had, had taken when he was running for senior class president. It had always been Blaine's favorite picture.

"I always loved this picture of him, you know" he said running his hand over the frame, looking at the broken glass from where he had thrown it against the wall when he got home from the Lima Bean that day so long ago. And there was that smile, that Blaine had loved so much, that smile that apparently still had the ability to make his heart skip a beat, and hurt like hell all at the same time.

"I know sweetie, so did I" Santana says sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders

Blaine turned the picture over and laid it back down before standing up and pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Hey honey how are you, I miss you" he said and sitting down in the chair by his window listening to Marc talking about his day.

Santana knew that Blaine needed to talk to Marc, to get the thoughts of Kurt out of his mind; she had seen the tears that had collected in eyes, he tried so hard to pretend like he didn't care anymore, that he didn't still feel the hurt, but she knew better, she knew different.

oOoOo

The next day at the funeral, a lot of family showed up. More than Blaine thought would, cousins from out of state that he hadn't seen since he was a kid. It was a really good turn out and made it so much easier for Michael, Blaine's dad to say good bye to his only brother. After the funeral, everyone went back to the house and spent time together. It sometimes seemed like the only time his family got together was for funerals.

Monday, Blaine, Santana and Cooper decided to go running around some of their old haunts, going by their friend's old houses knowing that no one lived there anymore, that everyone had scattered after graduation. Blaine also decided that he needed to take his car to be serviced especially when he notices that the oil change sticker showed Hummel Tire and Lube, it hasn't been serviced in a long time, apparently only the outside of the car had been taken care of.

When Blaine had talked to Marc last night he had mentioned possibly bringing home his car, Marc thought it was a crazy idea, why would Blaine need a car in New York. But Blaine wanted it and the more he talked to Marc about it the more he was determined to bring it home. They had gotten into one of their rare arguments. Usually they got along great but sometimes Blaine felt like Marc was trying to run things and so Blaine refused to back down. He didn't need nor ask for his approval. Blaine had spent too much of his time being what someone else wanted him to be, not anymore.

They took the car to J.R's automotive to have the brakes checked and the oil and tires changed. Back before, he would never have taken his car to anyone but Hummel Tire and Lube, now; he would take it anywhere else but there. Luckily the repair shop was across the street from The Lima Bean and Santana convinced Blaine and Cooper to go with her to get some coffee. Blaine hadn't been to the Lima Bean since the day his life as he knew it ended, the worst day of his life, the day he saw Kurt cheat.

It felt weird being back; it looked exactly the same as it always did the same cheesy decorations and all. Some of his best memories had taken place in this building, and also the very worst of his life.

Thursday night rolls around and once again Blaine and Marc have an argument about the car. This is twice in one week that they have argued, that just never happens, the first argument Blaine chalked up to the separation. Since they moved in together they hadn't spent a night apart from each other, even when Blaine had toured with the Symphony last year, Marc had gone with him

"Blaine, I don't know why you are wanting to bring that stupid car home so bad" Marc said raising his voice, "you are going to have to pay for insurance, state tax, parking and who knows what other charges. We live in a city with all this public transportation; I don't know why you would willingly waste our money on something stupid like this, have you lost your fucking mind, have you been listening to that damned Santana again. You know she will do any fucking thing to get between us."

Santana chose that minute to walk into Blaine's room, Marc was talking so loud she couldn't help but hear what he said. She stops short holding up her finger mouthing WHAT THE FUCK and looks at Blaine like she can't believe what the idiot was saying.

"Wait, our money, OUR MONEY" "If I am not mistaken, I have my own money, I have my own job, I pay my own bills, we don't have a joint account, the apartment we live in is in my name, you pay rent and your half of the utilities, so what do you mean by wasting OUR MONEY, and what the hell do you mean about Santana getting between us. She has never said ANYTHING or tried to get between us" Blaine shouted back

Santana mouths "Thank You" and Blaine knows she wants to say so much more

"I think it is awful fucking funny, you go home with her and now you want to do something stupid like bring that damn car home, she always seems to be able to talk you into things you wouldn't normally do. If I didn't know for a fact you were gay, and am almost positive that Santana is as well I would think you were fucking her."

Blaine saw Santana walking towards him, like she was ready to snatch the phone out of his hands, but this is something that Blaine has to handle on his own.

This wasn't a spat, or a disagreement or an argument, this was a fight. This was their first fight. They had and arguments, disagreements but this was different, this was a fight. Blaine never raises his voice, especially to Marc, but Blaine goes off. He feels like once again Marc is trying to make him feel like a child, plus making wild accusations and he has to shut it down now.

"Who the fuck do you really think you are talking to" Blaine says, he gets so loud he hears a knock on his door when he opens it still talking to Marc, Cooper is standing there

"You ok there squirt?" "Mom wanted me to come get you two for dinner" Cooper said holding his head sideways looking at Blaine.

Blaine knows this is a lie because they had just finished eating before he called Marc. "Give me a minute and I will be right down" He tells Cooper and then continues his talk with Marc. "Listen I am done here, this isn't getting us anywhere. I will be home Sunday and we can talk then"

"Damnit Blaine, you said you would be here Saturday, so you coming home is being pushed back even longer because of that dumb ass car" "Do you not miss me at all"

"Look Marc, I just can't talk to you right now, don't ask me questions you really don't want the answer too right now" and then Blaine hung up on him, knowing that they would be continuing this conversation when he gets home. He refuses to let things stand as they are and be treated like he was a child.

Santana just looks at him and Blaine can tell she is pissed "Blaine, you know I usually let you handle your business your way, but he brought me into this shit, you know I have taken shit from him before but not this time. I am letting you know now; I am not letting this one slide.

"I know San, I know" Blaine just looks at her still a little shocked by what happened.

oOoOo

The next morning Uncle Don's lawyer Luke, was at the house, no one else at the funeral had been asked to be there which they thought was strange, Santana had been asked to be there and they assumed that was because she had been Don's friend, and had helped him out several times when he needed it, and also as Blaine's best friend.

"Ok, I am here to read the final will and testament of Mr. Donald Alexander Anderson, to my Nephew Cooper Adam Anderson I bequeath 2.5 million dollars and my house in the Hampton's" Everyone just stares, they never knew that Don had that kind of money, he always just lived in a little 2 bedroom house in Westerville.

"Wait a minute" Cooper said in complete shock "did you just say 2.5 million?"

Luke looked at the paper and said "yes", it was correct and handed Cooper a set of keys for the house

"And next to my nephew Blaine Devon Anderson I leave 2.5 million and my house in Provincetown, I know you would prefer that one to the house in the Hampton's, and since it isn't worth as much as the house I am leaving Cooper, in the garage you will find a 1967 Ford Mustang. I know how much you loved the car your parents bought you so I figured you would appreciate it." Standing up the lawyer hands Blaine a key ring with house keys and a car key. Blaine just sits there mouth hanging open, still in shock

"To Santana Evelyn Lopez, I leave seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars, thank you for always being a friend to myself and Blaine, without ever asking for anything in return, also at my house in Westerville you will find a black BMW, I remember you once saying when you got filthy rich you would buy me and yourself one, so how could I do anything different"

Santana bursts into tears "I can't take that" Santana whispers looking at the Anderson's

Pam walks over to her and hugs her "Yes you can, and you will, you were always there for him, we all know that, plus what you have always done for Blaine, you will take it"

Santana still shaking her head "I never did anything expecting anything in return"

"Exactly" Michael said "You never expected anything, you offered my brother your time without ever expecting anything, and, You saved my son. You will take it" Santana just cries more leaning into Blaine's side putting her head on his shoulder, he puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her close, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

Luke stands up and hands Santana a key ring that has a BMW key on it.

"And finally to my brother Michael William Anderson and my sister-in-law Pamela Christine Anderson I leave the remainder of my estate, 5.0 million, my houses in Westerville and California, and my share of Largent enterprises.' This shocks everyone; they didn't know he owned part of that group. The lawyer continues "Also you should know that he owned controlling share, so on top of the money you have been left you will all pull monthly dividends check from the group which as it stands today is roughly $15,000.00, and that does include you Ms. Lopez. Pam and Michael on your death's your share will pass to Cooper and Blaine equally"

"Well, that takes care of everything, reach out to my secretary with banking information for where you want the dividend checks to go to, unless you want it to go into the account the rest of your money is in. He set you all up an account, paid the taxes on the money you are getting as well." "Let me know, also I am available if you want to use me as your lawyer or if you want to find your own" he gets up hands everyone the information on their bank accounts and leaves.

The family just sits there in complete shock, "You guys didn't know either did you?" whispers Blaine

They just shake their heads no. Then Michael stands up "I need a drink" he says heading into the living room with Pam following him

"I need coffee" Blaine says, turning to Santana and Cooper "Do you want to join me" with everything that happened he had completely forgotten about his fight with Marc.

On the way to the Lima Bean, they stop at Uncle Don's old house so Santana can get her car. She just stands there looking at it. She had expected a used car but this one was brand new. "Guys, you know I never asked for this right" she said looking at both Cooper and Blaine

"Santana we know that" said Cooper "You know as well as we do that if you HAD asked you would have gotten nothing, stop worrying, now let's go get that coffee"

They pull up outside the Lima Bean, with Santana following them in her new car. When they walk to the door Blaine starts telling Cooper about the fight he had, had with Marc since Santana had already heard most of it. "It was crazy he made comments about how I was wasting our money by bringing the car home, I didn't need it, and something in his tone set me off"

"I thought you guys kept separate accounts, at least, until you decided if you were going to be getting married or not"

"We do, that is what was so strange, and it was out of nowhere, he then accused Santana of using the car to come between us, like she talked me into bringing it home to piss him off" Blaine said walking to the counter to order their three coffees.

They got their coffees and continued talking as they find a place to sit down.

"Sounds like even if you do get married it might not hurt to have a separate account from him especially after what we learned today, and definitely get a prenup before as well." Cooper says

"Oh, boy now he really is going to think I am trying get between you" Santana said laughing

Blaine just looks at her "Well you are sharing my bed" he said laughing

Cooper and Santana just laugh and shake their heads at him.

"Boy, I really know how to pick um don't I" he continued and somehow it doesn't seem like he is talking about Marc anymore. Santana just looks at him with a sad little smile.

After that comment things get back to a lighter note and everything was going good until it was time to leave. Blaine stands up turns around to laugh at something Cooper had said and notices right away the look on Santana's face, when he turns back around to see what had caused the look, he is facing the one person he hoped to never see again. He feels like his heart is going to leap out of his chest, and then he looks in those eyes, and the love he had always had for Kurt, now that the anger and hurt were gone, was very much still there.

He had thought about reaching out to Kurt several times in the past but always talked himself out of it. Kurt looks just as shocked and affected as Blaine

"Blaine," Kurt says barely above a whisper

"Kurt" Blaine questions back, not much louder and then he hears Cooper behind him clearing his throat, with Santana reaching out to grab Coopers arm, shaking her head at him.

That is when Blaine realizes that Cooper had never met Kurt, he had no idea who he was "Cooper this is Kurt Hummel, Kurt this is my brother Cooper Anderson" Blaine stands there for a few minutes not knowing what to do, but realizing he wasn't over Kurt even a little bit, he still loves him, which is bad since he is with Marc. Blaine realizes he needs to figure out what to do how to move forward, and how to get Kurt back. A life without Kurt wasn't possible anymore, once he saw him again, he knew that he needed him back in his life.

Santana walks past Cooper, not acknowledging Kurt at all grabs Blaine's elbow and gently pulling him away. "Cooper, Blaine we need to go, we are going to be late, don't forget we are supposed to be there in twenty minutes" where they were supposed to be, she had no clue, but she needed to get Blaine out the door.

Cooper starts heading that way and Blaine and Santana follows. "So that is your ex huh" Cooper asks when they get to the cars

"Yes"

"And I can tell by the look on your face, that you thought you were over him, and just realized you weren't, now what" Cooper said staring at Blaine

"I honestly don't know, I thought, it was over, that I was over it" Blaine whispers

Santana reaches out and hugs him "Blaine we can figure this out one way or the other. If you want him back I will help you get him back, but you have to promise me when we get back to New York I get to kick dickless in the nuts" she says with a smile.

Blaine can see right away what she is trying to do and smiles and agrees with her "Let's go home"

When they get to the house, Blaine goes into the living room where his parents are, and pours himself a whisky, something they have never seen him do before. He drinks it in one swallow and pours another and does the same before reaching for the bottle to grab another one but Cooper stops him.

"Blaine you need to stop and think, not drink and forget" Cooper said softly

"What is going on Coop" Pam asked

"We ran into Kurt, apparently this was the first time he has seen him since the break up" Cooper answers

"It was" Blaine whispers back, starting to feel the effects of the liquor. He never could hold his liquor which is how he ended up kissing Rachel. Thinking about that makes him laugh, and once he starts laughing he can't stop. He notices his mom leaves the room a few minutes later, and when she comes back she is followed by Marc.

Santana didn't realize Marc had walked in "Blaine, I'm sorry, no one said he was here or I would have warned you

Blaine still hadn't noticed Marc and while Cooper is looking away he goes and pours himself another drink and downs it before Cooper can stop him. "Blaine I told you to stop"

"Can't stop" Blaine says "don't wanna stop" still not paying attention to Marc who was just staring at him, Blaine starts to mumble and laugh "Mama where is Kurty he should be here by now" Blaine said looking around.

"Blaine you broke up with Kurt" Pam answers back trying to get him to quiet down a little, she whispers to him "you are with Marc remember".

"Hahaha, why would I break up with Kurty mama, I love him, call him mama and he will tell you we didn't break up" Blaine said sitting down hard on the floor. He just keeps repeating "call him mama, he'll tell you he will" "Promise, call him", and then he starts laughing again.

Santana kneels down in front of him, grasping his face in her hands, "Blaine come on, you know you broke up" she said feeling bad for him, one, because seeing Kurt had hurt him worse than she realized and two because, even though she doesn't like Marc she loves Blaine, and doesn't want his relationship to end like this, she wanted it to end on his terms not because of a ghost.

Pam just stands there, not knowing what to do looking at Marc's shocked expression as he stares at Blaine

"Come on little brother, let's go to bed and sleep this off, and one way or another this is going to hurt in the morning" Cooper chuckles

Santana follows them, figuring she needed to get some clothes for tonight and then something to put on tomorrow since Marc was here and would be sleeping with Blaine.

Blaine goes with Cooper but keeps slurring "Call him mama, please call him mama, call him right San" and then when they get to his room, he crawls in bed and passes out. Santana helps Cooper take off Blaine's shoes and then leaves so that either Cooper or Marc can undress him. Since Cooper followed her out, Marc would be the one to do it.

Marc had followed behind them, and stares at how Santana treats Blaine; he knows she is after him, no matter what either one of them say and he would be damned if he would sit back and let it happen, let her have him. He realized after the phone call yesterday he had taken it too far, but he also wondering who this Kurty was, he undresses Blaine, before crawling in bed turning his back to Blaine for the first time since they started sleeping together.

When Blaine wakes up the next morning, he only felt little effects of his drinking last night, he had always been one of the lucky ones who didn't really feel the hard effects of alcohol, he never really suffered from a hangover he just always felt thirsty and lethargic after drinking too much.

He stretched his arms and that is when he sees Marc in his bed. Rolling over towards him snuggling close behind him leaning up he starts kissing Marc's neck and then softly nibbling on his ear. As usual when he wakes up with Marc, he has an erection that is painful. They usually always had "good", morning sex. Best way to start the day

Blaine continues to kiss Marc's neck trying to wake him up, reaching out to put his hand on Marc's hip to pull him closer, and then gently rubs into Marc's ass slowly, enjoying it but not wanting to come so he can be buried deep inside of Marc when he does. It had been 8 days since the last time they were intimate and he needed Marc bad.

Marc wakes up to Blaine grinding into him jumps up "Don't" he says pushing Blaine off of him

"Marc, what is wrong" Blaine says looking at him in shock, sitting up. Marc had never rejected Blaine, had always been just as ready himself.

"Why don't you save it for Kurty" Marc snaps

This gets Blaine's attention, why would Marc say something about Kurt. "Honey, what is wrong, and what are you talking about?"

"I came here because of our fight, I wanted to apologize for the things I said, making it sound like you had to clear things with me, I was wrong. I also made some comments about Santana I shouldn't have"

"So, I came here to apologize, but, I find you drunk off your ass, asking your mom where Kurty is, she tells you that you were broken up, and you said "Why would I break up with Kurty mama, I love him." "You then asked her to call him, actually begged her to call him several times and he would tell her you weren't broken up." "What the hell Blaine, who is this Kurty person you are in love with" asks Marc looking like he is fighting to keep tears out of his eyes, because Marc knew that Blaine didn't love him, never would, and now he knew why.

Blaine stands up and walks away from the bed, running his hands through his hair, and then rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes sighing. "Kurt was my high school boyfriend, we broke up senior year. After the breakup I transferred schools and never saw him again, that is until yesterday, Santana, me and Cooper went in to Lima yesterday, and stopped at the Lima Bean for coffee. It was one of the places we hung out with our friends after school; I honestly wasn't expecting Kurt to be there, Santana hadn't heard anything about him being back in town or she would have told me, as we were leaving he was coming in"

"So, you really loved this Kurt person" Marc said softly

"I did, we talked about spending the rest of our lives together". "I thought I would be with him for the rest of my life, apparently he had different ideas". "He cheated on me and I caught him". "Like I said, right after that I transferred, and even though we didn't live far from school I decided to board so I was very rarely here." "Which is why, if you look around you will still find pictures with him in them, I didn't even pay enough attention to them until I came back home for the funeral." "After graduation I moved to New York and I have never been back"

"Are you sure Santana didn't know he would be here, and just not tell you" Marc asked, thinking that, that was something the bitch would do to break them up

"No, Marc she wouldn't. She was the one who helped me pick up the pieces, after Kurt and I broke up I went straight to her house, and even though she was supposed to have a date with Brittany that night she stayed with me. She let me get drunk off my ass, stayed up with me all night just to make sure I was ok, and then followed me home to make sure I got here ok and in enough time for school." "She has been the shoulder I have cried on more times than I even want to admit." "She is my friend, she would never purposely let me be hurt."

Marc gets up and walks to where all the pictures are pinned to the corkboard, "Which one is he"

Blaine walks over and stands beside him and points to the picture of them when they were still part of the Warbler's.

"This picture was taken right after he transferred to Dalton, this was when we were still just friends, and he had had it rough at his old school." "Kurt transferred back to his old school three months before the end of that school year, and I followed him at the beginning of the next year. He then points to the picture of them with everyone from the New Directions, and anyone looking at the two of them in that picture would have no trouble recognizing the love in both of their eyes.

"This is the glee club at McKinley, the New Directions" Marc just looked at it. Then he sees Santana in a cheerleaders uniform standing by a blonde, she looked so young and so very much in love with the other girl." "The picture upside down on the night stand is also of him"

Marc goes over and picks up the picture and sees the shattered glass "When did you do this" he asks

“The day I walked in and caught him cheating it has been like that since”. It has been like that since". "I guess seeing him yesterday and then getting drunk is what brought on my ramblings, but I don't love him"

"I hadn't even thought of him in years" Blaine continues

There was a soft knock on the bedroom door, Blaine went over to answer it, and was not surprised at all that it was Santana

"Hey, just wanting to make sure you were ok" she said handing him a glass of water because she knows how he gets when he drinks too much, plus she had felt bad leaving him alone with Marc in the condition he was in.

"I'm ok San, but thanks for the water and for checking on me" Blaine said with a soft smile wandering once again what he would do without her, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.

"Yea "San" thanks for barging in here, I think I know how to take of my boyfriend without your help" Marc says with a smirk on his face.

Santana just looks at him, "Ok Mr. Smarty pants since you know so fucking much, what does Blaine need after he wakes up from binge drinking?" "What does he need you to do when he is about to fucking fall apart?" "Fuck the pissing contest you are trying to have, I don't care who's boyfriend he is, because all I care about is that he is my best friend in this whole fucking world, and you can go to hell" by the time she is done saying what she was going to say she was in Marc's face.

"Blaine, are you going to just stand there and not say anything" Marc said looking at Blaine in disbelief.

"No, no I'm not" he walks over to them and gently pulls Santana out of Marc's face, kissing her on the cheek one more time, noticing that Marc had a knowing smirk on his face.

"I'll talk to you in a minute, I need to handle this" he said walking her to the door and shutting it behind her. With a deep sigh he turns around and walks over to one of the chairs in his room motioning for Marc to take the other.

"What is wrong with you, what is really going on?" "You know I just went through one of the worst weeks in my life, I lost my uncle that had always felt like my second father, but have you asked me about it? No." "Your biggest concern has been about my car and how somehow it was going to inconvenience you". "You are picking fights with Santana for god knows why"

"I feel like she is always trying to take you away from me" Marc says

"Marc you do realize I am gay right? I have known I was gay since I was 13"

"That wouldn't stop her from trying to take you away, some women see it as a challenge, to see if they can change you"

"OOOOOKKKKKK you do realize that Santana is a lesbian right? That blond girl in the picture with the New Directions was her high school sweetheart, they have been seeing each other again and trying to reconcile." Blaine says almost surprised that he had to voice that out loud.

"She is after you for your money" was what Marc came up with next and Blaine had no choice but to laugh.

"You are kidding me right; Santana doesn't need my money, she has her own. Did you notice the black BMW in the driveway? Well that is hers"

Marc just looks at him "Blaine ever since you left for Ohio something has changed between us and I don't know how to fix it.

"I don't know what you mean about change, but I have realized that more than once in our relationship you have tried to make me feel like I was a child, who didn't know his own mind, having to be told what to do."

"I went through high school alone, well aside from Santana, but I did that alone, I dealt with the love of my life cheating on me and shattering my heart alone, once again aside from Santana, I graduated NYADA on my own, got brought into the symphony on my own, and made second chair once again on my own. I don't need someone telling me what I need to do; I don't need my boyfriend trying to act like my father."

"Blaine that isn't what I am trying to do" Marc says looking at him

"I think you need to head back home, I need to think about where we need to go from here, I am going to call work and take another week off, so, I won't be back to New York until Saturday after next, we both need to think about what we want from this relationship, or if we even want to still be in it."

"Are you breaking up with me" Marc looks at him

"No, but I am taking a step back and reevaluating things"

Marc stands up, grabs the bag he had brought with him, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he walks to the door calling a taxi to come and pick him up. "Call me when you are ready to come home," he said before opening the bedroom door walking through it and shutting it behind him again. Blaine just watches him leave and then it hits him what he had just said, almost like Blaine had to call ahead of time to get permission to go back home to **HIS** apartment

"What the Hell"


	4. Decisions

Blaine walks out of his room still shaking his head at what Marc had said. He was really going to have to do something about him soon. He wasn’t going to stand back and let someone else run his life for him. He didn’t need his boyfriend trying to make decisions for him. He was capable of doing that for himself, he was 22 years old and knew his own mind, he also didn’t need someone’s permission to go home.

Blaine calls the Symphony director to let him know that something had come up with the family so he would need an extra week, they told him that was no problem and since they would have been closing down for a month in a week anyway he wouldn’t need to be back for a month so he could take the time he needed and just be back in time for rehearsals.

That decisions made he goes looking for Santana, and finds her in the kitchen talking to Cooper.

“Well that was just a boat load of crazy”. Where did Marc go” she asked looking behind Blaine waiting for Marc to show up any second.

“I told him to go home I have some thinking to do.” “I don’t know what happened with him, he has never been like that at all, he actually said he thought you were trying to steal me away from him.”

“You are kidding me right, I mean seriously haven’t you guys been having sex for like three years now, didn’t that tip him off that you are very much gay and are not interested in anything a girl has to offer you. Well, aside from Rachel Berry” she laughs and ducks out of Blaine’s reach

“Har, Har, you are so funny, but yes he very much knows I am gay, but he did say that a lot of women find that a challenge.”

“Love you bunches, mean it Blainer’s but you have a few extra parts that do absolutely nothing for me, and are missing the ones that do” She said still laughing.

“I told him that, but he still had this look, I told him I would be gone another week, and he told me to call him when I was ready to come home”

“Ok, I am like really confused” Cooper said looking at Blaine “I could have sworn that apartment was yours. That mom and dad bought it for you when you were 18 and left for NYADA. I thought he was just living with you”

“He is” Blaine said wondering where Cooper was going with this

“Ok, then why is he making it sound like you need his permission to go home?” Cooper said looking confused.

“Thank you…. I thought it sounded that way to me too” Blaine said glad someone else heard it the way he did.

“So, what are you going to do now” Santana asked him

“Well I called work, and since we were shutting down for a month after next week anyway I don’t have to be back until then for rehearsals, so I am going to take that time, get my shit together and figure out where to go from here.”

“I will need to go home first though so I can pack some more clothes that is one thing, and then I am thinking about going to Provincetown and checking out the house there, maybe chill and figure out what my next steps should be.” He said not knowing how things could go so wrong so quickly again, man he hated Ohio.

“Cooper, when are you heading out? I know mom and dad will be here until Sunday”

“My flight is in an hour and a half, I need to get home Addi has a program tonight I need to try to make it too. She is so proud of that little violin her Uncle Blaine sent her, you know purple IS her favorite color” Cooper said with pride shining in his eyes

Addi was Coopers 5 year old little girl, and the light of her Uncle Blaine’s life. He usually flew to California every few weeks to see the girls; Addi had started taking violin lessons so she could be like her Uncle Blaine.

“Well don’t forget to record it for me, and give my big girl a hug and let her know I am proud of her, and kisses for my sweet angel Ari.” Blaine said

“Well do little brother, I am going to go get packed, I need to sit down with Sarah and let her know what Uncle Don did. I didn’t want to tell her over the phone.”

“Do you need me to take you to the airport?” Blaine asked

“That would be great if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go get my stuff together, my flight is in an hour if that is ok”

“Ok, San what are your plans, are you staying in Ohio or going back to New York now” Blaine asked looking at her

“I will probably head home, Britt is heading out tonight to so I don’t have a reason to stay” She said and Blaine could see the sadness on her face. Santana was trying to work things out with Brittany. They had broken up right after high school, and Santana wanted her back. Blaine hopes it works out for her. She deserved to be happy.

“Well, are you interested in a mini vacation, we could drive the cars home, pack some clothes and then catch a plane to Provincetown.” Blaine asked hoping she would be willing to go, he didn’t want to do this alone.

“Sounds good, I just need to call work and get an extension on my leave, but that shouldn’t be a problem, when are you wanting to head out?”

“Well we can take Coop to the airport and then head out from there, we will need to stay the night somewhere tonight and then go from there.”

They both went to Blaine’s old room to pack their clothes, and then told Pam and Michael what their plans were, and then they were on the way to take Cooper to the airport. 

When they got back to New York early the next day they went to Santana’s apartment first to pack everything she would need for 3 weeks, they left her car in the parking lot of her apartment. On the way out of her apartment complex they stopped by the office to notify them about the car, and got a pass to put in her window showing that the car did belong to a resident so it wouldn’t be towed.

They got into Blaine’s car, and since it was Sunday they knew there was the possibility that Marc would be home so Blaine got ready for the shit storm he knew was going to happen. When they got there Marc was home, he started to walk up to Blaine and give him a hug until he saw Santana, and then he stopped and just stared at Blaine

“What is going on” Marc said, and the look of relief at Blaine being home slowly sliding off his face

Blaine looks at him not knowing what to do, he knows they need to talk, they have a lot to straighten out, but still can’t deal with it yet. So instead…

“Marc lets go to our room for a minute I want to talk to you” Blaine said before heading to the door.

Blaine walks in the room and waits for Marc to follow him before shutting the door and turning around to face him “As part of my Uncles estate, I was left a house in Provincetown, I am going to check it out. I wanted to let you know that I will be there for 3 weeks. Work has already been advised”

“Ok, when do we leave” Marc said smiling

“We aren’t going Marc, I am. I need to do some serious thinking about our relationship. After what happened this week, I am not really even sure if what we have can be classified that way anymore to be honest”

“So you are just going to leave without us having a conversation about what is going on, come on Blaine, talk to me” Marc said no longer smiling

“Marc, trust me you don’t want to have that conversation right now. With everything that was said, I need time away from you so I can think.

“I guess once again Santana gets to go but as your boyfriend I don’t:

“You see Marc, it is comments like that that I am talking about, what is your issue with Santana, she has been my friend and in my life since before you came along, she was my friend when I started dating you, she was my friend when I asked you to move in with me and she was my friend the last time we had sex. Her being my friend hasn’t come between us, you have”

“It doesn’t feel like that to me Blaine, it really doesn’t. You are different when it is just you and me than you are when she is here.”

“I don’t know what you mean Marc, I treat you exactly the same when she is here as when she isn’t. How is it different. The only thing I do different when I am with you alone than when she here is this” Blaine said grabbing Marc, pulling him to him and slamming their mouths together. Kissing him hard slipping his tongue in Marc’s mouth, kissing him the way Marc likes it . “Is that what you mean” Blaine said stepping away

“Yes Blaine, that is what I am talking about” He said looking at him

“Oookkk, do you want me to fuck you in front of her too” Blaine asked getting upset again

“Blaine why do you have to get so crass for” Marc said sounding exasperated

“Well that is the only thing I don’t do to you in front of her. I kiss you in front of her, I hold your hand in front of her, I hug you in front of her, I cuddle with you in front of her, I have even grabbed your hand and dragged you to this bedroom in front of her. The only thing I don’t do is have sex with you in front of her, and in that I draw the line Marc” Blaine said walking toward the closet to pull out his suitcase and placed it on the bed.

“Are you coming back” Marc looks at him and Blaine can tell by the look on his face what he means. Well Blaine come back to him.

“That is one of the things I need to figure out, and you do as well. When we first got together I told you about Santana, that she was a big part of my life and always would be. You have got to get over this jealousy you feel towards her if we have any chance of moving forward from here”

Blaine sighed and then went over and pulled Marc back into his arms, and placed a gentle kiss on his lips “Honey, I am with you, ok I am with YOU. She is only my friend and that is all she will ever be. I am sorry if I got upset” He said kissing him again feeling Marc respond finally. “Hey how about this, I know you have to go back to work Monday, how about Friday you come to Provincetown, I will book you a flight and then meet you at the airport and we can really talk.”

Marc smiles and sets on the edge of their bed “I would like that” he said

Blaine leans over and kisses him again “I would too” he says and then finishes up packing and getting ready to leave “I will book your flight when I get to the house and call you with the flight information. I will miss you Honey, we are going to get through this, but we do need to have that talk ok. I just want us both to have time to cool off before we do, so tempers don’t get in our way ok?”

Marc just looks at him “Ok, we can wait.

oOoOo

Santana and Blaine land at Provincetown Municipal Airport, and then rented a car. Uncle Don’s lawyer, had given Blaine the address for the house he had been left, he programs it into the gps and they head off.

Blaine is surprised when the directions send him closer and closer to the coastline, and then he sees the house, and wants to cry. There in front of him is a lighthouse which instantly takes him back to school, to Dalton, curled up with Kurt as they talk about their future. They were going to do Broadway together and then retire to Provincetown, they were going to buy a lighthouse. He had never told Uncle Don about that, he had never talked about it with anybody but Kurt. Where are all the ghost from his past coming from.

Blaine notices a detached garage on the left hand side of the house, and walks over to it and unlocks the garage door, and there is the ford mustang, he had been left, and he is hit once again by another ghost from the past.

Kurt had always wanted a 67 mustang, he had talked to Blaine about it so many times. The color it would be on the outside and on the inside. What was sitting in front of him was Kurt’s dream car, and because Kurt had wanted it, Blaine had wanted it too. He had had every intention of buying Kurt one when he was old enough to touch his trust fund.

When Blaine’s maternal grandmother had passed away when he was ten, she had set up a trust fund for both Cooper and Blaine. She had set it so they couldn’t touch the money until they were 21. Once again Blaine wants to just sit down and cry. The ghosts were everywhere today. For once Santana has no idea what is going on, because this had all been between him and Kurt, their quiet conversations late at night, snuggled up together at Dalton. Blaine felt the pain all over again like everything happened yesterday instead of 4 years ago.

Trying to shake the memories off he walks to the house, opens the door and falls in love. It is beautiful on the inside even though it was a lighthouse, it had a nice sized living room, a full kitchen that looked like it had just been remodeled. There was one bedroom on the left side off of the living room and the other just a little bigger was on the right side off of the living room. The way this room had been built, it had the rounded outside wall of the lighthouse part. The spiral staircase leading up the light itself was still in place.

In this bedroom there was a white wrought iron bed, with a beautiful handmade patchwork quilt. Under the bed there was a deep pile throw rug to protect the feet from the hard wood floors first thing in the morning. Blaine fell in love with this room and knew this is where he would sleep. He felt peace when he walked into it.

Both bedrooms have en suite full bathrooms that was nice. Who ever had done the remodeling had done a good job to add all the modern conveniences without losing the integrity of the lighthouse itself. If he had had his choice of houses he would have picked this one a hundred times over. Uncle Don was right when he said that Blaine would appreciate this one more than the house in the Hamptons.

So much of the house reminds him of all the dreams Kurt and him had had. When they had talked about how the house would look, how they would decorate it.

Blaine headed back into the living room to find Santana, they needed to go to the store and buy a few things, and they could take the rental car back since he had his now. He decided he would just leave it here so that when he comes back he will have a car here. Because he can tell already that he will be back and often. He loved the symphony, loved playing for people, but sometimes it could be stressful, so whenever he had free time he could just come here, and decompress. It wasn’t that far from New York, he figures he will be here a lot.

Blaine walks into the living room and sees Santana standing there looking at him with a letter in her hand. “What’s that?” he asks walking up to her. She hands it took him and he recognizes the hand writing right away. He slowly opens the letter and starts reading, and before long the tears are falling down his face again.

_ Blaine, _

_ Please forgive an old man’s meddling, or for not meddling sooner. He asked me not to say anything so I didn't, but since my time is almost up, I wanted to leave you this letter, that I know you will find after I am gone. After you and Kurt broke up, he came to me crying. He had messed up, and messed up big. He had lost you and knew he wouldn't be able to get you back. He told me everything, what you had seen, what you heard and what he had done. _

_ Please remember he was an eighteen year old kid who made a big mistake. I am not using his age to justify his actions but... He did love you very, very much. He said he felt like he was losing you. He went out twice with that Chandler guy, once the day you saw him and only once before that. He knows how the conversation sounded that you heard. He admitted to kissing Chandler and regretted it right away. _

_ Now for the meddling part, I know how much losing Kurt hurt you, he hurt himself too. He comes by to see me every few months or when he is in town anyway. He told me not to say anything to you, and made me promise not to. I have always regretted that promise, because by staying quiet I have kept you away from him. _

_ I don’t know if you are ready to forgive or not, but if you are, know just how much you are still very much loved, how much he regrets things said and done, he still misses “YOU”. He was here two weeks ago and once again, as always he asked about you, how you were, were you doing okay. I guess looking at the car and the house, you can tell now where I got the inspiration for it, because yes, Kurt and I have had long, long conversations through the years. _

_ He once told me about the lighthouse you both had talked about getting when you retired from Broadway. What you wanted it to look like inside and out. It took me a while to find the right one but judging on the things he said I figured it was pretty close to it. As for the mustang, well that was straight up Kurt as well. That car was all he could talk about, how you were going to buy one, one day so you could drive him around. _

_ Ok, more meddling; in the master bedroom and up the spiral stairs you will find a box on the dresser. I arrange for my lawyer to put it there at the time of my death, because yes I know I’m dying but didn't want my family to be burdened until they had to be. _

_ Since the day you broke up, Kurt has written you letters, and had them delivered to me , at first I got one for you every day, but now it about three times a week. I have put them in the box that is now upstairs, they are all unopened and they are in the order in which they were sent. Read them and know, and then the rest is up to you. _

_ If you are interested he is with Clarence House as a clothing designer in London England. Once again forgive this old man for meddling or not meddling soon enough please give my beautiful Santana a hug. Tell her I love her and thank her for being a true friend to this old man _

_ I love you Blaine please don't think too badly of me. I was just doing as asked. _

_ Uncle Don. _

Blaine could do nothing but stand there and cry, memories flooding back to him. That is why this house is so close to what him and Kurt had dreamed about, and why the car in the garage was Kurt’s dream car. He finished reading the letter and then handed it to Santana. She read it and by the time she gets to the end she is in tears as well. She sets the letter down on the coffee table, walks up to Blaine and pulls him into a hug, and they stand there and cry together.

When Blaine’s phone starts ringing they both jump. He reaches in his pocket and sees that it was Marc calling him. Crap he forgot when they got here he was going to call him with flight information so he could come here Friday, but Blaine now doesn’t want him to come here, and doesn’t know how to stop it. It just feels wrong having Marc here when this house had been designed using a conversation two seventeen year olds had, had, cuddle up in bed together, daydreaming about their future. A future they would never have, but then he feels bad because he is letting feelings from the past color future occurrences.

He looks at Santana, “What do I do”

Santana just looks at him “Tell him the truth Blaine, that is all you can do, if you don’t want him here you don’t want him here it is that simple”

“It really isn’t” he says as his phone stops ringing, voicemail having answered it.

“Blaine, as much as I dislike the jerk, this is isn’t fair to him, you need to figure out what you are going to do. Because right now it seems like you are walking the line between the past and the present and that isn’t fair to either of you.”

“I know San I just don’t know what to do, I know after that whole argument in Ohio, I saw a part of Marc, I didn’t like, and I don’t know if I can be with him. I don’t need someone who is going to try to act like a parent. I have two parents who do that fine on their own. They don’t need his help. I know I could have handled the situation better than I did, part of the whole thing that happened is on me, and I know that.”

“Did this just hit you after you read Don’s letter or did you feel like this before we left, because if this is how you felt then, you should have just had that conversation then and be done with it. I am going to say something that might make you mad at me, but you have always wanted me to speak to you with honesty. “

“Do you remember when Kurt was doing all the things he was doing and you kept telling him to talk to you. To be honest, if something was wrong, if he wasn’t happy with you then tell you. You need to man up and do the same. Marc probably gave you that look he sometimes does and you caved. Part of this trip was to figure out what you wanted to do, to spend time apart and think, but then you invited him here. You aren’t happy and you know it, that is a conversation you need to have with him sooner rather than later. You need to be fair to yourself as well as him.”

“Your right. I should have ended things with Marc before we left today, or straightened it out one . I know you came here to be with me, but do think you would be ok by yourself for a while. I think I need to go home for a little bit and have a conversation with Marc. We have been pulling apart, but the trip to Ohio brought it to the forefront. I need to talk to him, and see if we can fix what is wrong or if we need to cut ties and just move on.”

“When do you plan on leaving” Santana said nodding her agreement

“Probably first thing in the morning, I will drive the rental car back, and then take the first flight home. When I get back if you want, we can take the mustang and have it registered and get insurance on it, according to Luke when I talked to him after he read the will, it hasn’t been registered. Apparently Uncle Don had just gotten it back from the repair shop right before he died, so he didn’t have time to get everything taken care of on it. Apparently the mustang was a last minute decision because the will was updated to add the mustang a week before Uncle Don died.

“Sounds good, or if you want we can go to the airport together and while you fly to see Marc, I can go and see Brit for a while”

“That sounds like a plan” Blaine said he so hoped Santana and Brittany could get back together they had always seemed perfect together but things had pushed them apart. They were working to resolve them.

“Are you going to call Marc back, or are you just going home tomorrow” Santana ask

“I think I need to call him, I don’t want to leave him hanging. I’m not going to get into anything on the phone, but at least let him know I am coming home anyway.” He says as he pulls out his phone and calls Marc.

His phone rings until it goes to voicemail. He leaves a message letting Marc know he will be home tomorrow.

“Ok, so now what are you going to do?” she said looking at Blaine.

“I think I am going to go look for the box uncle Don left upstairs for me,” he said, his heart started to beat a little faster.

He walked in the master bedroom, went up the spiral staircase and there sitting on the dresser was a shoe sized box. Beside the table there was a recliner and beside the recliner there was an end table with a lamp on it. Almost like this had been set up as a reading area for this alone, and knowing what he now knew it was possible that it was.

He picked up the box and notice how heavy it felt. He wasn’t expecting that from a few letters. When he opened the box he understood. There had to be thousands of letters lined up inside the box. On top of them was a single sheet of paper and when he picked up that sheet of paper there was an individual letter sitting on top. He recognized right away Kurt’s handwriting. He would have recognized it anywhere from all the notes they had passed, in class, in warblers practice or glee club when they were both in New Directions.

Looking at the sheet of paper first he quickly read what it said.

_ Blaine, _

_ Your uncle asked me to bring this box here for you, I left his letter on the coffee table where he asked me too, so if you found this box then you got the letter as well and you know what this box contains. The letter on top is the one that was received 2 days after your Uncle’s funeral unlike the rest, this one was hand delivered by Kurt himself, not received through the mail. _

_ He came to your Uncle's funeral. They had gotten really close over the years. He stayed in the back out of site, and left the church before anyone could see him. He brought this letter to me and asked me to get it to you. I figured I would put it with the rest of his letters. _

_ Luke _

Blaine picked up the letter on top, and gently opened it.

_ Blaine, _

_ I am not going to ask you how you feel because I can only imagine. Your uncle was a great man and a good friend to me over the years. I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts. Even though we aren’t together, I would take the pain away from you if I could. I wish I could make it better for you; somehow make it go away _

_ I remember the day you introduced me to him, I remember how sweet and kind he was. He accepted me, us, without thinking anything about it and that doesn’t happen very often. I hope the pain eases soon. I hate the thought of you being in pain. _

_ In case you ever forget “You are beautiful, you are loved.” _

_ Love Kurt _

_ P.S. I wish I had had the guts to talk to you at the Lima Bean, but I didn’t know if you would want to talk to me or not. _

Blaine folded the letter and put it back in the envelope it came in and then pulled out the envelope that according to his uncle should be the first letter

_ April 5 _

_ Blaine you just left McKinley and with you went my heart. I know just how bad I messed up, and how you must hate me. Watching you walk away from me was the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life, and I know this is on me. I should have talked to you, the way you wanted me to. I did this. I did this to us. I did this to you, and I will forever be sorry. I have lost the most important person in my life from stupidity. You are gone because of me. I love you so much, but I miss you even more. _

_ I Love You _

_ Kurt _

Blaine felt the beginning of tears slid down his face as he puts the letter back in the envelope and puts it to the side, wanting to make sure he kept them in order.

__

_ 04/06 _

_ Blaine another day has passed, another day without you in it, your smile, your laugh, your hugs, but most of all your love _

_ I love you, I miss you always Kurt _

_ 04/07 _

_ Blaine, _

_ If only I had listened to you, when you said if I had a problem with you/us to just talk to you, and we could fix it. I so, so wish you were here to talk to me now. _

_ I love you _

_ Kurt _

__

_ Blaine, _

_ I keep waiting for tomorrow, because tomorrow there is always the possibility that _

_ I will see you. But when I wake up, it is still today, Will tomorrow never get here. _

_ I love you so much, but miss you even more _

_ Kurt _

__

__

_ Blaine, _

_ Still not tomorrow is it, sigh will it ever come. I love you and I miss _

_ You, wish you could forgive me _

_ Kurt _

__

__

_ I had a dream last night, I was standing on the staircase of Dalton, and you stopped when _

_ I touched your hand and you smiled at me, and then I woke up. I so miss that smile _

__

_ Love Kurt _

__

__

_ Blaine _

_ In losing you I lost part of me _

_ I love you Kurt _

__

__

__

_ Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up and for a split second everything is _

_ Ok with the world, and then you remember" _

__

_ Love you _

_ Kurt _

__

__

__

_ I so wish I could talk to you right now. I would once again say how very much I love you, _

_ And miss you. What did I do, missing you. _

_ Love Kurt _

__

_ Another day, another chance _

_ Love you _

_ Kurt _

_   
_

_ Your Uncle Don promised me that you would never see these letters, I don’t know if I want you to or not because this is the only way I have to talk to you, to connect with you. I miss you so much more than I would have ever thought possible. It is a physical ache that never goes away. Sometimes I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. Because in my dreams you are always here beside me _

__

_ Love you Kurt _

__

_ I heard hey soul sister today and it made me cry _

_ Love you Kurt _

__

_ I wonder sometimes if you will ever forgive me. I miss my Blaine, I miss my person _

_ I miss you. _

_ Love Kurt _

__

_ I saw you today at NYADA; we had our auditions on the same day. I watched you and _

_ You played so beautifully, I just sat there and watched you. You were wonderful. I opted not _

_ To audition, I knew you were going to get in, and you wouldn't want to see me all the time _

_ Plus I kind of felt that New York and NYADA partially led to our downfall, of me losing you. _

__

_ Love Kurt _

__

_ Blaine, _

_ I miss you so much; I miss you more and more every day. I miss our talks, our hugs, our cuddles, _

_ Our kisses, I miss my best friend. Did you know you are still my best friend? _

__

_ Love Kurt _

__

_ Blaine, _

__

_ Since I opted out of NYADA I applied for a design class in London, I got my notification today _

_ That I was accepted, I wish you were going to be there too. _

__

_ Love Kurt _

__

_ Blaine, I saw you at the Symphony today, my friend Susan had tickets, I had no idea _

_ You were touring through Europe. I was sitting there and I watched you walk on stage, sit _

_ Down and start playing I cried through the whole set. Afterwards I had to explain to my friend _

_ Why I was crying. I had to let her know who you were, what I had done She cried with me. _

_ I thought what you did at NYADA was awesome, but this was beyond NYADA. Blaine you are more amazing than I Remembered. It made me miss you more _

__

_ I love you Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow _

_ Kurt _

__

_ Happy Birthday My Darling Blaine I love you. _

__

_ Kurt _

__

_ After you walked away from me that day at McKinley, I pulled our pictures out of the trash can. I _

_ Couldn't stand the idea of that beautiful face, that face I love so much, getting messed up. _

__

_ Then Now, Always _

_ I love you _

_ Kurt _

Blaine just kept reading, and by the time he reached the last letter in the box he was bawling but the last one was the worst and hit him the hardest.

_ Blaine, _

_ Do you realize it has been 4 years 3 months 4 days and 6 hours since I got to hold you last, if only I had known then that, that would be the last time, I wouldn’t have taken it for granted. I would have wrapped that second up in bubble wrap and held on to it like the most precious thing in the world, the gift it was. I can still feel your arms around me, your lips on my mine, the whispers of I love you in my ear, the smell of your cologne. I can still remember how it felt to be loved and cherished. _

_ I was so stupid and childish. Thinking about things in the future instead of the amazing person I had then. You made me a better person; you taught me courage, love, respect. _

_ What did I teach you, how to mistrust, hurt and cry. For that I will be forever sorry. Looking back on our time together, I realize just what I gave up. I had everything I could have ever wanted with you, and I treated it like it didn’t matter. I wish all the time that there was a way to go back, and redo it, but there isn’t. Trust me if I could go back I would, my heart hurts so bad every day. Never doubt you are loved more than you will ever know, missed beyond belief _

_ I love you so, so much _

_ Kurt _

Blaine slowly and carefully put all the letters back into the box, making sure to keep them in order, put the lid back on it and then carried it downstairs. He set on the dresser in his bedroom, that is when he realized he had been reading those letters for four hours. It was 11:30pm and Santana was curled up on her side in Blaine’s bed asleep. He was glad, because the feelings he had he wasn’t ready to share, he wanted to keep them to himself a little longer.

Kurt, his Kurt still loved him after all this time, and Blaine knew 100% now that he still loved Kurt, ached to hold him again. Like his uncle had said, Kurt had been an 18 year old kid when what happened, happened. But, Blaine wasn’t a kid, and he was in a relationship with Marc, and even though he felt his relationship was teetering on the edge, he needed to try to work through it if possible. Because even though he loved Kurt with every breath in his body, he couldn’t just walk away from Marc because of it. He would go tomorrow and they would talk”

oOoOo


	5. Homeward Bound

oOoOo

Blaine got off the plane, got a cab and headed to the apartment. He figured Marc would be at work, but because he had left the message for him last night, he knew there was a possibility that he might have stayed home, so he started there first.

Walking in the first thing he sees is Marc sitting on the couch, waiting on him. He looked really sad and unhappy, and Blaine knew that he had caused that look. He walked over to the couch and sat down, turning so they were facing each other. He reached out his hand and gently rubbed a finger under his eye and he pulls it back wet. Marc had been crying. He reaches out and pulls him into a hug, and just holds on tight, feeling Marc’s shoulders start to shake as he broke down completely.

He might not love Marc but he did care about him, and all of this was so unfair. He remembers how easy it had been to tell Kurt to just talk to him if there was a problem, but that wasn’t as easy as it seemed. Because either way, whatever decision that was made there was going to be pain.

Blaine leans back and gently kisses Marc, “Ahh Marc, I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I really didn’t”. Blaine whispered

Marc just looked at him a minute before talking “Blaine, do you love me at all?”

Blaine just sat there staring at him because he knows that he needs to tell the truth, he deserves the truth “Marc I really do care a lot about you. You are very special to me, but no I don’t. Honey I told you a long time ago that I would never be able to love you, it’s not because of you, I know a lot of people say the old cliché line that it’s me and not you, but I really mean it, unfortunately my heart belongs to my past, I gave it to a boy that I thought would always be my everything.

“I’m so sorry that I am hurting you, but I have to be honest with you because you deserve that . I have tried to forget, but even though I got hurt, and I walked away thinking I hated him I don’t, and I can’t. I really wish I could. I wish I could love you, I really do you so deserve that. I wish I could lie to you, it would be so much easier, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I have always been honest and upfront with you, told you how I felt so that you would never feel like I mislead you.”

“I love our relationship, I love spending time with you, I do love being with you, in all ways, but I don’t love you, I’m not in love with you. I know that may sound funny to you but that is how I feel.

Marc just looks at him, “so there is no chance then, you will never be able to love me”

Blaine shakes his head no “I do like being with you, being your boyfriend, our relationship, and I am not walking away from you.”

“The thing is Blaine I am very much in love with you. I have been from almost the minute I met you. I know you told me you wouldn’t be able to love me, but I guess somehow I convinced myself that that would change. I could make you fall in love with me, be what you needed me to be.”

“I guess that is why I had such hard feelings against Santana, the relationship you had with her. You gave her all the love that I wanted for myself. You told her you loved her, but never said those words to me. I guess I thought if she was out of you life, you might be able to love me. I guess that is why I always pushed her.”

“Honey Santana is not competition for you, you are the one I am in a relationship with” Blaine said looking Marc in the eyes.

“Yes she is Blaine, whether or not you see it like that, she very much is competition, but in Ohio, in your old bedroom, I learned who my real competition is, it is the ghost of the boy you loved.” Marc said sighing

“Marc, once again there is no competition. I am in a relationship with you.”

“I don’t know if that is enough for me anymore, when I had the hope of you loving me one day I was ok. I was ok that we only ever had sex, and never made love, I was ok with our relationship. But knowing there is no chance of that, I think I need more. You said earlier that I deserved more, I feel like I do too.” Marc said straightening his shoulders and looking Blaine in the eyes.

“So what do you want to do, where do you want to go. Do you want to work on our relationship or end it. Things were going wrong before Ohio you know. You had gotten to where you were trying to control me, like with the whole car thing, like I needed your permission, like I was a child needing direction. So this isn’t all about what you found out in Ohio, because until you showed up there, you didn’t know any that. I didn’t start acting differently you did. I have always treated you with respect and cared about you, nothing has changed. So it’s your decision to make, stay or go.”

“I don’t know Blaine I really don’t” Marc said eyes looking sad again shaking his head

Blaine pulled him back in for a quick hug and then pulled away “Let’s do this then, I left Santana at the house. I’m going to go back and take care of a few things that need to be handled there and then I will be back Friday, I won’t stay the full three weeks. I will come home and we can try to work through this together if you want, that will give you time to think about what you want”

Marc just look at him and nodded his head “Ok, we can try” he said before pulling Blaine too him and started kissing him with all the passion he had inside of him, all the built up hurt, and the time they had been apart. They ended up in the bedroom. Even though they both knew that sex didn’t and wouldn’t fix anything they both needed it. Blaine tried to be gentle and tender this time because he felt like Marc needed that too, none of the franticness their intimacies usually had.

Moving in and out of him slowly taking his time, hitting Marc’s prostate with every upward thrust, biting down on his shoulder the way he always liked Blaine too, getting Marc right on the edge and then pushing him over it, making sure he got his release even though Blaine never got his own. That was a first for him. Anytime him and Marc had had sex, he made sure Marc orgasmed and then followed shortly after. He knew he wasn’t even close and wouldn’t be. He pulled out of Marc slipped off the condom and then pulled Marc to him. Trying to make sure that he kept his hips away so Marc wouldn’t realize he hadn’t found his own release. Blaine walked out of the bedroom just as hard as when he walked in.

When Marc had gone into the bathroom to clean up, Blaine went to the guest bathroom and took a quick shower and was able to take care of himself in there. Not understanding why he couldn’t get there with Marc. It had felt just as good as always. When Blaine got his release in the shower, he slid down the wall and sat on the shower floor and cried. Was he going to be able to do this. He hurt so bad, but he was in an adult relationship, and he had to try to make this work. This wasn’t Marc’s fault, and he refused to make him suffer.

Blaine got up and stepped out of the shower when he heard Marc walking in looking for him. He kept his head averted so that Marc couldn’t see that he had been crying, by drying his hair. He walked in the bedroom, put on some clean clothes and then went back to the living room to cuddle with Marc a few minutes before he needed to head back out.

oOoOo

When Blaine got back to the house in Provincetown he found a very happy Santana, her and Brittany had managed to work everything out, they were back together. Blaine was really happy for her.

“So how did it go with Marc” she finally asked him. She could tell something was off with him

“It actually went well, we are going to try to work things out” Blaine answered “We had a really long talk, and went over everything we were both feeling” Blaine said trying to look happy.

Santana knew, could tell right away that her friend was not happy that he was hurting, but she would wait until he was ready to talk. She wouldn’t push him, she would wait, but from the looks of things she hopes he doesn’t wait too long, until something is destroyed, hopefully not him.

Blaine went into the bedroom they had slept in last night, grabbed the box that had his letters from Kurt in it, and walked back up the stairs and placed the box back where it was. He needed to figure out how to place Kurt back into his past. He had gone forever without thinking about him. It wasn’t until after he went back home that now he can’t, now the ghost of Kurt is everywhere. He also figures that was why he couldn’t achieve an orgasm with Marc earlier. He had to work through this. Man he hated Ohio….

oOoOo

Santana had told Blaine that she was going to head back to New York Wednesday instead of staying in the three weeks they had planned before he had had the chance to tell her he had planned on leaving Friday. Brittany was going to be coming to spend some time with her. Blaine asked her to come over to dinner Saturday so that Brittany could meet Marc. He is secretly hoping that that will make Marc less insecure if he saw Brit and Santana together.

He was wrong; when he got home Marc was glad to see him and showed him by pulling Blaine into their bedroom. They had one of their longest sex sessions ever, back to the normal, hard and rough the way Marc preferred it. Blaine had assumed that he couldn’t get off the last time because his body was used to their normal intimacy, not the soft and gentle they had the last time. After an hour he realized that wasn’t it, they were both worn out and Blaine still wasn’t close. Pulling out of Marc when he finally came and removing the condom, once again not letting Marc know what was going on but unlike the last time though this time once he removed the condom he just went soft.

Marc just kept kissing him “That was amazing” he said “maybe you DO need to go away ever so often if I get that when you get home.” He continued not realizing what turmoil Blaine was in. Normally when Blaine had a problem he went to Santana and talked to her, but he didn’t feel comfortable talking about his and Marc’s sex life with her. They stayed there, cuddled up until it was time for dinner and then headed to the kitchen.

“Oh I meant to tell you that Santana and Brittany got back together. I haven’t seen Brittany in almost a year, so I invited them over for dinner so you could meet her, she is a little bit quirky but I think…”

That was as far as he got because Marc went off “Don’t you think that is something you could have discussed with me before inviting a stranger into my home”

Blaine just looked at him like he had lost his mind, he thought they had made a step in the right direction but it looks like they might have taken two steps back.

“OK YOUR HOME Marc YOUR home, I damn well thought that this was our home, and if not “ours” then mine. I own this damn place and I can have anyone here I want to and Brittany is not a stranger, she is someone I have known since I was sixteen years old. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Why can’t you go a damn week without seeing Santana” Marc said yelling back

“It’s not just Santana, I wanted to introduce you to another one of my friends, but you know what I can’t talk to right now because I will say something you really don’t want to hear.” Blaine said grabbing his wallet, phone and keys, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

What the hell just happened, Blaine drives around lost in thought, trying to figure out what he needed to do. Things were spinning out of control and Blaine didn’t like it. He drove around until midnight before heading home. Instead of heading to their bed Blaine goes to the spare bedroom strips down to his boxers and crawls into bed, he can’t be next to Marc right now. He was still too mad.

Sometime later Blaine is having the most wonderful sex dream he had ever had he was lying on his back and could feel someone slamming down on him hard. He woke up when he felt his hips thrust up, that is when he saw Marc straddling his hips, riding him hard. “What the fuck Marc, get the hell off of me”

“Please baby please” Marc said still slamming himself up and down “I am almost there”

Hearing the name baby made Blaine freeze and in a quiet and angry voice he said “GET THE FUCK OFF ME NOW AND DON’T YOU EVER CALL ME BABY AGAIN.” Blaine managed to shift and push Marc off of him and that is when he notices that he hadn’t even had the decency to put condom on him first.

Blaine never went without them. The last person he had been with, without a condom was “his” Baby. The very first person he had been with, and he had been Kurt’s first as well. Now he is going to need to be tested. He had been tested right before he started having sex with Marc, and had been there when Marc was tested but still.

Blaine slammed out of the bedroom heading for the shower, all of a sudden feeling very dirty. He stood in the shower he knows for thirty minutes with the water as hot as he could stand it, still not believing Marc had done that. He would never have done that to him, never.

When Blaine gets out of the shower, he dries off and wraps a towel around his hips. He has never done that, it’s not like they haven’t seen each other naked a hundred times but now Blaine feels the need to cover himself up. He heads to the bedroom to get dressed and hears Marc behind him

“Blaine, please talk to me”

Blaine holds up his hand to make him stop “Don’t talk to me right now, just don’t talk” he said slipping a pair of boxer briefs on under the towel and only then removing it and pulling on a pair of jogging pants and a t-shirt. He turns around and heads back to the living room, grabbing a bottle of Jack that they keep in the liquor cabinet, pulls the lid off, pours some in a shot glass and downs it. He does this three times.

Blaine just sits there waiting for the buzz to kick in, to make the questions swirling around in his head stop. He knows that if he talks now it won’t be good, he will say something he will regret, or maybe not regret at all. Once the booze kicks in and his thoughts calm down, he stands up walks into their bedroom, and then he shut and locks the door, Marc can sleep somewhere else tonight. At that moment he really could care less.

Blaine lays down curls up in a ball. When he had woken up from that dream, it hadn’t been Marc he had wanted it to be, he had wanted it to be Kurt that he was buried so deep inside of and making love too. It had been Kurt in his dream, Kurt that had made him so hard it hurt. He then allowed himself to cry over Kurt for the first time since he was 18 years old.

Blaine woke up the next morning feeling thirsty and sluggish like he usually did when he drinks. He calls Santana, and tells her that something has come up, that he would talk to her later but he needs to talk to Cooper. He grabs a glass of orange juice, drinks it quickly before heading back to his room pulling out the suitcase he had actually just put away yesterday, he starts packing enough clothes to spend 4 days. He is going to go see his girls, and talk to Cooper, he needs his advice.

He quickly grabs his phone, phone charger, wallet, his violin and keys and walks out the front door not saying anything to Marc not even caring if he is still there or if he will be there when he gets back.

Blaine goes out to his car and heads out. He decided it would be better to take it and park in long term parking, having a funny feeling about leaving his car, not putting it past Marc to do something. Before going to the airport he goes to his favorite music store to see what he can get for Ari since he had bought Addi her purple violin. He was able to find a little baby version of Addi’s violin that was actually playable. Adding her violin to his that he has in his carry-on bag and heads to the airport. He has long wait because he had just missed one flight when he got there.

An hour later he is boarding a flight for Los Angeles. He had ignored 3 calls from Marc, but did manage to get a hold of Cooper to let him know he was on his way. He sounded nice even though Blaine knows how much Cooper hates waking up early on Sunday, and Blaine might have forgotten the time difference.

When his plane lands he grabs a cab, gives the driver Coopers address and then sets back. When his phone rings again, he sees it is from Marc and hits ignore again. He’ll call him back later. Before he knows it he is pulling up outside of Coopers house, the door is flung open and he is surrounded by his 2 favorite munchkins. Dropping his suitcase he bends over and picks them both up and just hugs them. He had really missed them.

He manages to pick up his suitcase while still holding the girls and walks toward Cooper. “Ok, what was so desperate to wake me up at 4 o’clock this morning and for you to jump on a plane so damn early.

Blaine sets the girls down, and then his suitcase, and just hugs Cooper, and Cooper knows that Blaine isn’t ok. “Hey girls why don’t you go harass your mom for a few minutes so I can talk to Uncle Blaine.” Cooper says leading Blaine into his office and shuts the door. “Ok little brother what is going on.

Blaine tells him everything how Marc had been acting, the trip to Provincetown and what he had found there. The letter from uncle Don, about the car and the house. Everything, and then with a little embarrassment he told him what he had woken up to last night or early this morning. “I felt so dirty. I mean I have been with him for 3 years, this wasn’t the first we had sex, but this is the first time it ever left me feeling dirty, and I am pissed that he didn’t even use a condom.” “I haven’t had sex without a one since the last time I was with Kurt.”

“Ok, tomorrow we are going to get you an appointment with my doctor and get you tested, I still can’t believe the ass hat did that”. Cooper said looking at him.

“Me either trust me, I never thought he would pull something like that” Blaine said softly

“So little brother what are your plans now. Are you going to finally break it off with him, are you going to try to hook up with Kurt” Cooper continues “Like uncle Don said, he was a kid when everything went down. And I saw your face when you saw him, I think you have some big decisions to make, but I think you need to clean house first, you shouldn’t have to live with the things he is doing. Either way I will support you”

As if on cue his phone rings he finally answers it hearing Marc crying and begging him to come home so they can talk. Blaine tells him he will be home the day after tomorrow and they will talk then, and hangs up.

He spends the rest of his time with Cooper, his family and their parents. He is in a much better place when it is time to head home.


	6. Cleaning house

oOoOo

When Blaine’s plane touches down, he heads home, glad when he gets there that Marc is at work. Blaine has spent the last few days figuring out where to go. He had held on to his relationship with Marc when he should have let it go after everything that happened in Ohio with him, the way he had been treating him.

He had been trying to hold on, because he felt he was being unfair to Marc. He didn’t want it to look like he was leaving him because of what he had seen in that box, in his little house in Provincetown, even though he was the only one who knew what that box really contained. He had been fighting this decision trying to be fair to Marc, but in the process not being fair to himself.

He was tired of the fighting, and after what Marc had done, he didn’t think he would ever be able to trust him again. He was going to play it smart though. He needed Marc to be tested, he had been tested by Cooper’s doctor but since exposure had been so recent, less than a week, the test might not pick up on anything for a while.

His best course of action would be to have Marc tested. So he would stay with Marc until he could get the results of his test. That might be cold blooded, but this is his life, and as far as Blaine was concerned Marc had made his choice.

Blaine unpacked his suitcase and threw his dirty clothes in the washing machine, and then pulled out his keyboard, plugged it and started playing. He hadn’t played the piano in a long time, he always plays the violin, but he just wants the comfort of an old friend. Before he knew it he was playing some of the songs he used to sing with Kurt, thinking back, that day in the McKinley choir room had been the last time he had played the piano, after the breakup he seemed to gravitate more towards the violin.

When he hears the washer finish it cycle he goes and puts his clothes in the dryer and then walks to the bedroom and strips the bed and carries the sheets and bedding to the laundry room and puts the sheets in the washer first and then when they are done he would wash the comforter next. He can’t see himself crawling, into that bed, until he knows it has clean bedding.

He had just finished folding and hanging up his clothes and had put the sheets in the dryer when he heard the front door open and then close. He went ahead and started the washer again putting the rest of the bedding in, and then walks towards the living room. Not even really wanting to see Marc, much less listen to him explain why he had done what he did.

He walks to the bedroom, and Marc is changing out of his suit from work. “Come into the living room when you have changed we need to talk” he goes and sits down on the couch and waits for him. Today he isn’t going to let tears affect him he is over it, he only needs one thing from Marc and once he has that he is out of his life.

Marc walks in the room and looks at Blaine, “Why are you doing the bedding for, we always do that on Saturday?”

Blaine just looks at him; of all the things he can ask about, he asks why Blaine is doing the laundry. “I felt the need, if that is ok” Blaine said with absolutely no feeling in his voice at all “Go put on some shoes we have somewhere we need to go” Blaine said standing up and grabbing his cell phone and keys.

“Where are we going” Marc says staring at him

“I made us an appointment at the doctors, we are both going to go and get tested, since your little escapade with no condom I think we need to” Blaine said walking towards the door

“Blaine, I am clean and I know that, so unless you have been messing around on me then you are too. We were both tested before we were together for the first time. Wait a minute, is that why you changed the sheets in the middle of the week. Did you just have sex with some else in our bed, when I wasn’t here.”

Blaine spins around and starts to make a comment and then realizes it isn’t even worth it, and simply says “Let’s go” instead and heads out the door, he waits for Marc to pass him and then he shut and locked the door. He walks to the car and Marc just stand there when Blaine unlocks the car door. “Marc just get in the damn car already” he said losing his patients.

Marc finally gets in and they head to the doctor's office, Blaine had managed to get them both an appointment. It doesn’t take long for them both to do the blood and urine tests, and they are advised that they should get the results in a few days. Blaine pays for both of their appointments and then goes back out to the car. Marc gets in and puts on his seat belt and then turns to look at him

“Blaine are you ever going to talk to me again?” he asks

Blaine just looks at him, “we will talk after we get the lab results” he said putting the car in drive and then heading back to the apartment

Marc just looks at him “So you are really not going to talk to me until then” Marc asks exasperated

“Until then we have nothing to talk about” Blaine says unlocking the apartment and walking inside

He goes to the dryer and pulls out the sheets and puts the comforter and other bedding into the dryer and then goes and makes up the bed. He puts up his clean clothes and goes around the apartment cleaning things up, like he was the only one there completely ignoring Marc. When he has fiddled around enough he pulls out his laptop and pulls up the symphony website and logs in to pull up the schedule.

They were going back on tour again next month. Blaine always loves it when they tour, all the different places they get to go. This year he would be on his own and he was ok with that, because he found out that for their sixth tour date they would be performing with the London Symphony again. His heart starts to beat fast, that gives him 3 weeks to make a decision on what he was going to do about Kurt. Was he going to try to work things out, or just leave things as they are. He knows the way he should do it, but he also knows what he wants. He wants Kurt, and before long there won’t be anyone in the way.

A week later he gets the results in the mail from their lab work. Marc had been sleeping in the spare room. Blaine had told him that once they had the results then he could move back in their room, and they could have a discussion, but until then he felt it was better for both of them if they didn’t sleep together, and until everything was clear he really didn’t have much to say.

Blaine open the envelope that had his results in it and was happy to see that it showed the same results he had gotten when he went to the doctor in California. He was oh so wanting to open Marc’s envelope and check it out but didn’t, he would wait.

He got in his car and headed to the local box store and bought a dozen packing boxes and packing material and took it back home and put them in the closet. Once he saw the results for Marc’s tests there would be no reason for him to be here anymore.

When Marc walked in the door Blaine handed him his envelope and then handed Marc his own “Here are my results” he said hoping that Marc would do the same

Marc opened his envelope read the report, and then handed it to Blaine “see I told you I was clean” he says with an I told you so attitude that set Blaine off.

“I am sorry you think me being concerned about my health is such an inconvenience for you Marc” Blaine says a little pissed off by his attitude.

“Well now that you have your precious results can we get back to our lives again, I would love to be able to sleep in our bed with my boyfriend again, that is, if you finally got rid of whatever crawled up your ass” Marc said heading to the spare room to grab the stuff he had moved in there temporarily until Blaine would let him back in their room.

Blaine heads into their bedroom, or he should say his bedroom still holding the letters with his and Marc’s results he puts them in the top drawer of his dresser. Blaine didn’t respond to what he said at all, he was just making Blaine’s decision so much easier. He stepped in the closet and pulled out the boxes he had bought and was taping the bottom of the first box when Marc walked in, still mumbling about the inconvenience of having to go to the doctor last week when he had told Blaine he was clean. That is when he saw what Blaine was doing.

“What in the world are you packing up Blaine” he asked

All Blaine said was “Your stuff” as he starts emptying Marc’s clothes out of his side of the dresser and putting the clothes in the box he had just taped up.

“What are you talking about Blaine”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you? Your moving out, we are breaking up.” Blaine said still putting Marc’s stuff in the box

“What the hell are you talking about, you said once we had the results that we would talk”

“And that was my intention, but you just had to run your damn mouth, I am over the smart ass comments you have been making all week, including the one where I finally got rid of whatever crawled up my ass out.

“Blaine you know I was just kidding” Marc said finally realizing just how far over the line he had gone this time.

“No you weren’t, once again you were trying to treat me like a child. Well once again I don’t need you to be my parent, I already have two and that is all I need, so you are moving, because I seriously can’t handle it anymore, I have put up with it, tried to work it out but you just can’t seem to let it go.”

Blaine just keeps taking Marc’s clothes out of the dresser and putting them in the box, he then moves to the closet and starts pulling his clothes off of the hangers and folding them and adding them to the growing stack.

“Blaine, I am not packing anything you are going to listen to me”

“Well then if it is the only way I can get you out of my apartment then I will pack your shit for you, oh and here is a copy of the key for the storage building I rented for you today. Once I get everything packed up I’ll move it there.”

“Blaine you really can’t be serious, come on,” he said

“Oh I am very serious, one way or the other your shit will be out of my home tomorrow, and your ass will be out tonight. You might want to call around to your friends or parents and let them know you will be getting a cab and be on your way.”

“I am not going anywhere Blaine until we talk” Marc continued to argue

“Well then I don’t know where the hell you plan on sleeping tonight, because I had the door lock changed on the spare room today and I have the only key so you can’t sleep in there and I’ll be damned if you think you are sleeping in here with me.

“Fine Blaine, fine, I don’t know why I put up with your bullshit as long as I did” Marc said grabbing his suitcase and threw it on the bed and started packing several outfits in it pulling some of the things Blaine had put in the box out and put it in the suitcase. “I’ll see you tomorrow” he said closing the suitcase and heading to the front door”

“Actually no you won’t, you will find your stuff at this storage building after tomorrow” he said handing Marc a slip of paper with an address on it and then handed him the keys for the locks, watched him walk out, and then closed and locked the front door. And because Marc did have a key to the door lock, Blaine slipped the unused deadbolt into place that Marc didn’t have a key for. He would be having locks changed tomorrow morning.

oOoOo

Kurt had had a bad day, one of those days when he wished he was back at McKinley, back when things were simple. Will back to when Blaine, his Blaine was there. Before he had messed everything up, before he had done that one thing that Blaine had been afraid of. He had cheated and with Chandler of all people. That kiss that he had seen, the one and only kiss him and Chandler had ever shared let him know exactly what he had with Blaine, not that he shouldn’t have realized what he had before but….

This was also a time when he would have written Blaine a letter, and sent it to his Uncle Don. Don had always told him he could, that Blaine would never know about them. It gave him a safe way to talk to him, even though he knows Blaine will never see them, it makes him feel like he can almost communicate with him again, like for the time he is writing that letter, he had that right again, even though, once that last word is written, that right is gone until he starts the next one.

It had been several long weeks since he had written the last one, right after Don had died, he had sent a letter through Luke to offer Blaine his condolences. He knows how much Don had meant to him. Don had meant a lot to Kurt as well. He had become a friend and was so missed.

Kurt figures his only option, if he wants to keep writing, he could always write to Luke, Don had given him the address a long time ago, in case he couldn’t reach him then Luke always could. That was his only option, and right now he just needed to talk to his friend.

_ Blaine, _

_ Hi, I haven’t written to you in a while. Well since your uncle died, once again I am so sorry for your loss and wish I could have been there for you. I know your parents, your brother and of course Santana were there, but I so hope you were not alone. I hate the idea of you ever being alone. _

_ You have been on my mind so much lately. Like a tickle in the back of my mind, not an annoyance but a reminder that this beautiful boy exist even if just outside of my reach. _

_ Do you remember that day on the staircase at Dalton, the first day I saw you, the day I met you, the day I fell in love. I have been thinking about that day for a while the way you turned around and looked at me. _

_ How is it that with every passing day being apart from you hurts worse instead better, every day it gets just a little harder _

_ In case you ever forget “You are beautiful, you are loved.” _

_ Love Kurt _

Kurt took the letter sealed it in an envelope and before he can change his mind, he quickly address the letter Attn: Blaine putting it in the envelope with the letter written for Luke

_ Luke, Hi I hope this isn’t a bother but if it is ok with you, I will send my Blaine letters to you now that Don is gone, he said you knew where he kept them all, and you can just add it to them or throw it away whichever you prefer. This just helps me. If it is a problem let me know and you won’t be bothered with me again. Thanks Kurt _

Kurt seals this envelope, address it and takes it to the post office and drops it off. Now out of his control, but it does make him feel better. He usually writes three times a week, more if his week is really bad like this one has been he ends up sending 4 letters just addressed to Blaine in the attention of Luke Maxwell.

_ Blaine, _

_ You are on my mind again today, not that, that is really unusual, that actually happens a lot, but it seemed like every song that I heard today, no matter what shop I went in, was one of our old songs. All the old ones we used to sing together. But the one that hit me the hardest was Lily Allen’s version of “Somewhere Only We Know” I remember when you and the Warblers sang that to me when I transferred back to McKinley. It made me wonder if things would have ended differently if I had stayed at Dalton. _

_ I still miss those nights we spent cuddled up in one of our dorms just talking about us, before everything got so hard and then fell apart. I still pull out my old cell phone and re-read some of our old text messages from back then, because yes I saved them. I can see the times you wrote “I love you”, and for a few minutes I can be happy again, because for a little while I feel loved. _

_ Know that even though you haven’t been in it for a very long time, you are now and always will be my world. _

_ I love you and I miss you so, so very much, _

_ Love Kurt _

__

_ Blaine _

_ This has been a crazy long day, it just turned midnight and I just got home from work. Things have been crazy busy at work. We are getting ready for fashion week so you can imagine how crazy that is. We are having a whole show of nothing but bow-ties, and I remembered all the ones you used to wear, do you still wear them? Any way I made one today, that would have matched perfectly your black and white polo, you remember the one that fit you really snugly, that showed off everything. It had the vertical strips just down the left side, anyway I had to make this one for you, it is only slightly different than the one that I made for the show. So if you ever look in v0gue, and see this bow-tie you’ll know you got yours before the official release date. Oh well, I am going to bed, I have to be in at five. You're in my thoughts and dreams as always. _

_ I love you, I miss you, I wish you were still mine, if only I could still call you mine. _

_ Kurt. _

__

_ Blaine, it was beautiful in the city this morning. I was up early enough to see the sunrise again, and something about this one reminded me of the crisp mornings at Dalton, where we walked from the dorm first thing in the morning and head for breakfast, just holding hands, being able to be us. Back when life was simple and I was loved. You always made me feel warm. _

_ I wrap myself up sometimes in that Dalton Blanket you bought me for Christmas that first year when we were still just friends. Remember Baby it's cold outside? Any way I wrap myself up in it and can almost feel you snuggled up with me. That poor blanket has seen better days, but is still one of my most cherished possessions. I love everything you have ever made or bought for me, because you put thought into everyone of them. For the time you were getting them I was on your mind. I wish I still was. I sometimes wonder if you ever think of me, then I think I am better off not knowing because after everything that happened, they wouldn’t be good thoughts. _

_ I hope you are happy with the life you have, I so want you to be happy, for that smile to shine on your beautiful face. Your smile is one of the things I miss most about you. Those times when you were really happy and your smile would reach straight to your eyes and could warm the world _

_ Good night my beautiful Blaine I love you more than words can say. _

_ Kurt _

oOoOo

Blaine was up early the next morning, he gets the rest of Marc’s things packed, while he is waiting for maintenance to come and change out the locks on his apartment and the mailbox downstairs. He set up forwarding so that any mail that Marc might get went to his employer for him, until he decided where he wants it to go.

Once the locks are changed, Blaine starts carrying the boxes of Marc’s things to his car. It wasn’t until he was going through everything that he realized just how little Marc had here. Mainly just clothes and a few pictures of his family. He had lived here for 2 years and had never really brought in more than that.

Blaine quickly gets everything moved into the storage unit he had rented, once everything is in, he takes his copy of the key puts it in an envelope and lays it on top of one of the boxes, he will no longer need it.

When he gets home there is a big envelope in his mailbox from the lawyer, figuring it was paperwork about Uncle Don's affairs, he takes care of a few more errands before taking time to open it. Once he does, he sits down on the couch and cries. In that envelope is a letter from Luke

_ Blaine, _

_ Hey, Kurt sent me a few letters and since you have the box now I didn’t really have anywhere to put them so I am just going to forward them to you. He said in his letter if it bothered me he would stop, so let me know if you want me to write him back and tell him to stop. _

_ Luke _

Blaine read the letters one by one and smiled when he opened one and found the bow-tie. He remembered exactly what shirt Kurt was talking about and yes, he was right that tie would have been perfect, he had usually not worn one with it because he never found one that would have really matched.

Then he opens the last letter and he can also remember those Dalton mornings when he got to hold Kurt’s hand, he had always felt so proud just holding his hand, and that blanket. He hadn’t really known what to get Kurt at all that year, and then he had seen the blanket, Kurt was always cold, and then laughed remembering that song. How he had been so blind he didn’t know, but he had been so in love with Kurt even then

Looking at the letter again he notices it has tear stains on it, Kurt had been crying when he wrote it thinking about them, and Blaine can’t help but cry as well. He missed the times when life had seemed so easy, when his Kurt was never more than a phone call away, instead of a lifetime.

He also notices that on these letters his return address was on them, unlike the previous ones in the box. Blaine makes a decision, he gets up finds a pen and some paper and goes into the spare bedroom to the desk that was rarely if ever used.

_ My Darling Kurt, _

_ I know Uncle Don said I would never see the letters you sent to him, that you wrote to me, but when he died he left me a house, a lighthouse of all things. When I saw it, it took me back to Dalton, to all our old conversations cuddled up in either your dorm, or mine, talking about our lighthouse, what it would be like, how it would look, and that is what I got. It was like your ghost, well actually our ghost was everywhere that week, the car in the garage was the one you always talked about wanting, right down to the color. Then there was seeing you at the Lima Bean. _

_ I didn’t know about the house until after we lost Uncle Don, I went and stayed there for a few days right after the funeral. It was everything we had dreamed of, and I thought of you. In the living room there was a letter from Uncle Don, telling me about all the letters you had written to me over the years, they were upstairs if I was interested. I went up those spiral stairs just like the ones we said our lighthouse would have, and there on the dresser was this box, beside the dresser was a recliner with a table beside it and a lamp sitting on top of that table. He had set up a reading area because he knew that once I knew about the letters existence I would have to read them, and I did. Every single one of them. _

_ I owe you an apology, when things were going crazy I kept telling you that if something was wrong with us/me to let me know, because I couldn’t fix a problem that I didn’t know existed. I didn’t listen to my own advice. When I saw what I saw and heard what I heard, instead of giving you a chance to talk to me, for me to talk to you to see if it was possible to repair “ _ **_Us_ ** _ ”, I shut you out completely. Uncle Don let me know that I misunderstood what I had heard Chandler say, you hadn’t been going out with him a lot it was only twice, once the day you met him, and once was the day I saw you at the Lima Bean. _

_ I would chalk it up to the fact that I was an 18 year old teenager, who let emotions get the better of him, but that would make what I did ten times worse, because you were only an eighteen year old teenager as well, with I’m sure emotions running wild. I should have stopped and listened to you, maybe “ _ **_we”_ ** _ could have been saved. _

_ In almost every letter you have asked me to forgive you, now it is time for me to ask for your forgiveness, for not taking the time to hear you, and not taking the time to listen, for not taking the time for “Us”. You are still so very much loved, more than you will ever know. I can’t believe how many years have passed since I was last able to pick up a phone and just talked to my best friend. Santana is great, and has been their every step of the way, and I know I would never have survived everything if not for her, but you were always my best friend. You knew all my secrets, all my insecurities, my fears, my doubts, but most of all my hopes and dreams, because you were the center of them all, every dream, every hope centered on you, on us, on the future we would one day have, if only…. _

_ You have been missed more than I can ever say, loved more than you will ever know. _

_ I love you, I love you, I love you _

_ Blaine. _

oOoOo

Kurt had another bad day, if it could go wrong it did, and somehow with things going bad of course it was his fault, even if he wasn’t in the room (he should have been) not on that project (why not) he just wanted to walk into his flat and write a quick letter and then go to bed. It was 10pm and he had been running since 5am. He was tired, and wanted to crawl into bed.

_ Blaine, _

_ It has been another long day starting at 5a and not leaving work until 9:30p. I will be so glad when fashion week is finally over. At times like this I just want to go home, but then I remember that home doesn’t really exist anymore. You were always home. London is nice and I do like it, but I miss home, I miss my dad, and I often wonder if this being over, is over yet. I really wish it was. Oh well my bed is calling my name, I am going to drop this in the box, and I guess pick up my mail. Sweet dreams wherever you are my special friend. _

_ Love you, _

_ Kurt _

Kurt took the letter as soon as it was written, as usual so he doesn’t chicken out mailing it, he always feels better after wards. He grabs his mail out of his box, not even bothering to look at it because the only thing he ever got was bills. He quickly changes clothes and crawls in his bed, and is asleep within minutes.

He got out of bed when his alarm went off at 4am because today was going to be another long day. He quickly took a shower, dressed and headed to work, he was already on the underground when he remember he was going to look at his mail this morning. Oh well it will be there when he finally gets home tonight.

Kurt is at work for an hour when he gets called into the office “What now” is all Kurt can think, what has someone done now that he was about to get “credit” for. He knocks on his bosses door “Mr. Benton I was told you wanted to see me”

“Yes, yes have a seat, I wanted to let you know how very impressed we have been with the work you have done since you came to work for us, we have started a new design studio in New York, and we would like to know if you would be interested in transferring and becoming our lead designer”.

“It will include a raise, plus all your moving expenses will be covered, we don’t mean to rush you but we really need someone in place by the end of next week. We have an apartment set up for you if you choose to accept the transfer.”

“How soon would I need to let you know” Kurt asked starting to really get excited, he could go home, will back to the U.S. anyway he would be able to see his dad more often that way.

“As soon as possible, by the close of business tomorrow if you can, we need to get on this as soon as possible, we had, had someone in New York lined up because they were already there, that didn’t work out and you were next in line. So just let us know so we can move on to the next person in line” he continues

Kurt already knows he wants it, he will be back in the states around his friends and family, he didn’t need time, he knew he wanted it. “I would be happy to take it, when do I transfer” he asked Mr. Benton.

“We really want you on the ground by the end of next week like I said, you have the rest of the time off between now and then to get everything packed and then in your new place, like I said the company will take care of all moving expenses. We will have a moving company transfer anything personal, and will give you an allowance to purchase what you need for your new apartment.”

Mr. Benton stands up and reaches out his hand “It has been nice working with you Mr. Hummel and you will be missed, go ahead and clean out your office and head home and start getting everything packed, oh and here it the address of the apartment we have set up for you.”

Kurt walks out of the office with a smile on his face, pulling out his phone and dialing a number “Dad, I am coming home”.


	7. The Tour

Before Blaine knows it, it is time to go back on tour, he had had all his suits cleaned and they were all in a garment bag, he packed a suitcase of day clothes and all other necessities. Santana had agreed to go with him as his plus one, since Brittany was going to be busy. She had wanted to go last year, but he had taken Marc, and they had actually had fun.

In the back of Blaine’s mind he had seriously thought he would hear from Kurt after the letter he had written, maybe he just hadn’t given him enough time, or maybe instead of being an idiot he should have put his return address instead of assuming if he wrote back, he would write to the lawyer. What if him getting a letter had freaked him out, that he just wrote as a form of stress relief and didn’t want a response.

On the sixth day of their tour they landed at London Heathrow, and got on the waiting bus and everyone was taken to the Motel they would be staying it. They had offered to get Santana her own room, but they had told them that there was no need. Once they got unpacked, or at least got Blaine’s suits hung up to stop wrinkling, they went exploring London, walking through Hyde Park, just enjoying themselves.

“Let’s just go” Santana said grabbing and holding Blaine’s hand

“Go where” he said looking at her

“Let’s go find Kurt, your Uncle Don told you where he worked, why don’t we go and talk to him, we are here Blaine, you might not get this chance again. I know you aren’t over him, he is here, somewhere, in this city. I told you after the funeral, that if you decided you wanted him back I would help you get him, and I will, even though you didn’t keep your part of the bargain and let me kick dickless in the balls. You kicked him out and didn’t even let me know what was going on until after the fact.

“I know San, I almost called you several times but you had just gotten back with Brit and I didn’t want to disturb that, you had been working on that for so long. You needed to have the time to reconnect with each other. I managed ok.”

“Blaine you are my best friend, I don’t want you going through something like that alone, you wouldn’t have left me, you would have been right there and you know it. I want to be there for you the same way. Next time call me. You had to go through hell that week alone wondering if you were going to be ok after that bastard did what he did. That is what a best friend is there for Blaine, to talk to when you are nervous, or scared, or pissed completely off.”

“I know San, I should have and I’m sorry, it just feels weird talking to you about my sex life. I know it shouldn’t because I have literally talked to you about everything, but that just seems weird to talk about sometimes, think about it, you don’t tell me about you and Brit’s, but you talk to me about every other thing going on. That just something to me, that should be kept private you know.”

She just looked at him and understood, he was right some things are supposed to be kept behind bedroom doors, but when something like that happens that is different, Blaine could have been exposed. He had to live through that week wondering if he was, which must have been hell, alone.

“Your right something’s are meant to be kept private, but when my best friend is going through a health scare, I want to know about it, I don’t want you to ever face something like that alone.” She said before pulling him into a hug, she could almost cry, for everything that happened, everything he had had to go through alone, and even though she didn’t like Marc, she was sad that he had to go through that break up, he deserved so much more.

“So, now like I said before, let’s go” she said pulling Blaine out of the park and to the road to catch a cab.”

When they got in the cab Blaine asked the driver if he knew where Clarence House was, he said he did and started driving. Within ten minutes they were pulling up outside, to Blaine it looked like somewhere Kurt would work. They got out of the cab, paid their fair and stood outside for a few minutes. Blaine is suddenly too nervous to go in.

This was the moment he had been waiting for since he found out they would back in London on the tour, Kurt was just inside that door but Blaine couldn’t seem to walk through it. Santana once again takes the decision out of his hands by pulling him through the door to what looked like the reception area.

“We are here to see Kurt Hummel please.” Blaine heard her say, thankful she did because he was such a ball of nerves he couldn’t really talk.

The receptionist looked at them, not recognizing them she called Mr. Benton.

“Hi I am Mr. Benton, Mr. Hummel’s boss, I understand you are looking for him” he said walking into the reception area.

“Yes, sir we are old friends from high school, we were in London and thought we would drop in and see him if that is ok that is.” Santana said smiling

“Sorry, but Mr. Hummel is no longer here, his last day with us was Tuesday” He said

Blaine felt himself deflate, they had been so close, had just missed him by a few days. Now he will just have to sit back and hope Kurt will write him back. “Thank you for your time,” Blaine said as he grabs Santana’s hand and walks out the door

“Well, if you want when we get home, we can always go to Lima and see Burt, he will now how to get in contact with him” Santana says knowing by the look on his face just how disappointed Blaine really is.

They head back to the Motel, and got ready for the concert, even though he was disappointed in not seeing Kurt, once he hits the stage he is home. He loves playing with the symphony, he really enjoys his job.

They finally finish the tour, this one had been really a short one, just 7 days, last year it had been 3 weeks. Even though Blaine was feeling energized, he always enjoyed the tours short or long, he is glad to finally be home, to sleep in his own bed again. He steps in his building and gets his mail before heading upstairs. 

He is needs to unpack, wash some clothes and then head to the store knowing there would be absolutely nothing in the fridge. He starts a load of clothes and sits down for a few minutes to read his mail, he shuffles through the bills he will deal with those later, but stops when he gets to a letter from Luke. He quickly opens the envelope, and there are 2 letters one written before he had sent his to Kurt and one shortly after, probably before he had gotten Blaine’s. 

When he gets to a part where Kurt had written, “ _ At times like this I just want to go home, but then I remember that home doesn’t really exist anymore. You were always home”  _ he feels his heart break a little _ ,  _ he continued reading until he got to “ _ I often wonder if this being over, is over yet.”  _ and he feels the tears start running down his face. The next one he opened simply said  _ “I’m coming home.”  _ The only thing Blaine can think is I hope so, I really do hope so.

oOoOo

Kurt was trying to get everything situated in his new apartment the way he liked it. He still had a few more things he wanted to get, but it was coming along. The first thing he had done when he back to the US was to go to Lima and spend a couple of days with his dad.

It is now his second day in his new apartment and he is finally going through the suitcases of things he brought with him. The rest of his stuff should be delivered next week. He pulls his clothes out of the first suitcase and sees envelopes fall to the floor. Crap that was the last little bit of mail he had gotten before the move, he had forgotten all about it.

He gets to the third envelope, and stops he would know that handwriting anywhere, from notes passed in class, left in lockers, left on pillows in dorm rooms, or left in his bag, some just simply saying I love you. Handwriting he didn’t think he would ever be able to see again, at least not in a letter or note to him.

But then he doesn’t understand, how had this letter gotten to him in London, how had he even known where to send it. He carefully opens the flap and reads the first line “ _ My Darling Kurt”  _ and he breaks down. He reads through the letter three times. Blaine, his Blaine had read the letters that Don had said he would never see, Blaine had written him and said he was loved, which caused Kurt to cry harder.

He quickly pulled out some paper and started writing one of the happiest letter he has written in a long time

_ Blaine, _

_ I just opened your letter, when it came; things were crazy at work, at first with fashion week, and then being called into the office to see if I was interested in transferring back to the states. It was such a quick move, so we could have everything ready to open the New York store. I have been made head designer. I didn’t expect to ever find a letter from you, so I just took everything and put in the top of my suitcase to go through later. _

_ I just found it and I have read it three times because it doesn’t seem at all possible that you might still care. Blaine I will never be able to apologize enough, I took something perfect and let it go like it was nothing. I did exactly what you were worried I would do, and destroyed us. You have nothing to apologize for; if I had seen and heard you with someone else I would have done the exact same thing. _

_ I have missed you so very much, your smile, your laugh, the way you used to look at me like I was the most special thing in the world, and the way you would hold me. I miss the years we could have been together if I hadn’t done what I did. I so miss just being “us” and would do anything to get that back. I love you so much Blaine, years and distance hasn’t changed that and never could. _

_ I love you _

_ Kurt _

oOoOo

Blaine had another long day at the theater, after the concert they had wanted to do update the orchestra member’s pictures for the new programs. So by the time he got home he was ready to pass out. He went in took a quick shower and crawled into bed.

He loved working for the symphony but it was long and tedious sometimes, he sometimes wished he had gone with his first career choice and become a music teacher instead. Better hours, but a lot less pay. Not that he ever needed to really worry about the financial part of things, between what he was left by his grandmother, and then uncle Don he technically would never need to work again, and added to that was the dividends check he got monthly that went straight into his account to draw interest.

Blaine crawls into bed, dead tired but can’t sleep; he has too many things running around in his head. He didn’t miss Marc per se, but he did miss having someone to talk to when things kind of went crazy in his head. If it wasn’t midnight he would call Santana.

He decides to just go ahead and get back up because he knows he won’t be sleeping anytime soon. He pulls out his keyboard and starts playing.

Before he knows it he is pulling out his laptop and pulling up the NYU home page looking into what is needed to become a music teacher, since he normally only had concerts at night, he could go to school during the day and knock out some courses and maybe get a teaching degree, so if he ever wants to move into teaching as a profession he could.

After researching the classes he finds out that with everything he has done at NYADA he was technically only a few classes short, and he could have a teaching degree in less than a year. Shutting down his laptop, he goes back to bed and is finally able to drift off to sleep

First thing in the morning Blaine is jumping in the shower, getting dressed and then driving to NYU, last night he had decided to check out the campus, and to see what he would need to start taking classes. He makes a quick stop on the way to get a copy of his transcripts from NYADA.

Blaine spends an hour just walking around campus. He had always enjoyed school, learning something new. He heads to admissions, and applies for the next semester starting in 2 weeks, he hands over his transcripts, and then heads home hoping he will get in. Now that he had decided to get his teaching degree, he was excited to get started with it.

He grabbed his mail and then headed upstairs flipping through everything and then a familiar handwriting jumped out at him, a letter from Luke which meant a letter from Kurt and he has trouble breathing and his heart speeds up “Kurt”

He quickly goes into his apartment throws everything on the table except that letter; he sits down on the couch and starts reading it. He smiles when he sees the missing “US”, and then he stops. Wait a minute did he read New York that Kurt was in New York. He quickly rereads it, and yes unless he is completely misreading the letter Kurt, his Kurt was in New York. Here, but where. Blaine jumps up grabs his keys from where he had thrown them and runs down the stairs not even taking time to wait for the elevator. He runs out to his car and his is soon beating on Santana’s door, he waits and nothing. Knocks again, and then looks at his watch. Crap Santana was at work.

Santana had started working for New Genesis modeling agency, right after high school, she had started off as an office assistant. She had lived with Blaine for a while until she was asked to model something for her boss, and they like what they saw and signed her that day as one of their models, she had been able to afford her own place after that. She had been there ever since and really loved her work.

Blaine ran back to his car and headed to the agency. When he walked in the receptionist saw him and automatically called Santana. “Ms. Lopez, Mr. Anderson is here to see you”. It took Santana all of two minutes to get there, and then she was pulling him into a hug like it had been months since they had last seen each other and not days.

“San he is here” is all Blaine can say he is too excited.

Santana pulls back and looks at him, realizing just how excited he looks “Who” she said laughing.

“Kurt, Kurt is in New York, read it, read his letter” he says throwing it at her.

She reads it and then looks at Blaine with the biggest smile on her face. She looks at the envelope and there was no return address on it. What now?

She grabs his hand and heads to her space, well the space they always had set up for her and gets on the phone putting her hand over the mouthpiece she smiles and says “let’s see if we can find your man”. “Hey Terry, this is Santana, have you heard of a new fashion house opening recently, maybe with the name Clarence House or something?” “Ok I can hold”. “He is checking, if anyone can find out anything it will be him.” “Ok where?” “Do you know the address?”

Blaine hearing Santana’s side of the conversation is bouncing up and down waving his hands as if to say “hurry” he was so close, he could hardly wait.

“Ok so Nouveau Clarence, 1515 Madison Avenue, perfect, thank you so much Terry” Santana said before hanging up the phone.

As they pass reception she says “Tell anyone interested, I’ll be back” she said as they ran out the door. They got to the car, Blaine trying to be patient as it took Santana FOREVER to get in the car, and then they were off. It took everything in Blaine not to speed, to drive the speed limit. Kurt was only minutes away.

They finally reach the space and notice that it still hasn’t opened yet, the name was above the door, but brown paper still covered the windows and doors. He was so close he had to try. He got out of his car followed by Santana, and knocked on the door, waited a few minutes, and then knocked again. The door was finally opened by a harassed looking woman. She just looked at him and sighed “I’m sorry sir, but we aren’t open yet. We will be opening Friday” she said and was about to close the door back.

“I understand that you aren’t open yet, but I was wondering if Mr. Hummel might be here, we are old friends” Blaine says he NEEDS to find Kurt and doesn’t know if he can wait on a letter.

She blows out her breath, looks at them both opens the door wider and lets them in. “Please wait here, and I will see if he is available,” she said walking off. They waited 10 minutes; Blaine started thinking that he must not be here when he saw the back door open and heard the voice he had only heard in his dreams for years, Kurt.

“Next time if you don’t mind ask who it is” walking out the door with his head still looking back. He turns around and Blaine could hear the sharp intake of breath and then “Blaine” and he was running to him, and Blaine was running towards Kurt. They met halfway in the middle, Kurt throwing himself into Blaine’s waiting arms. Blaine lifts him off the floor and spins him slowly around. Before sitting him down and holding him tighter.

Blaine leans his forehead into Kurt’s and whispers, “Please say we can go somewhere, I really need to kiss you right now”

Kurt grabs Blaine’s hand and pulls him to the back room where his office is, shutting the door and Blaine is pulling him back into his arms. Leaning down and placing his lips gently on Kurt, tasting him for the first time since he was 18. Gliding their lips together, slowly, taking his time, tears running down his face and Kurt’s. He pulls him back into a hug, never wanting to let him go again. Trying to make up for the four years they had lost.

And then Blaine leans in and once again places a kiss on Kurt’s lips, “please say you will forgive me Baby, please.”

Kurt hearing Blaine calling him baby again, something he never thought he would hear again, he moves his head to the crook of Blaine’s neck and cries. Blaine just holds him, not wanting to let go, whispering in his ear “shh baby, please don’t cry” he said rubbing slow circles into Kurt’s back while the other held the back of his head, placing small kisses on Kurt’s neck. They stay like that until a knock sounds on the door and they finally have to pull apart, even though neither of them wants to.

Kurt walks over to the door, wiping his eyes before he opens it. “Mr. Hummel, Mr. Benton is on the phone for you”. Kurt says ok, and then looks at Blaine, “I need to answer this” he says hating that he had too.

Blaine understands but can’t just let him go. “Here is my number” Blaine said pulling one of his cards out of his wallet. “Call me tonight when you get off work, please, so we can talk” Blaine said hopefully

“Ok” Kurt whispers putting the card in his back pocket. Unable to believe Blaine, his Blaine was in front of him for the first time in four years and wants to talk to him. “I will, I get out of here at 5”

Blaine grins before pulling Kurt back into his arms and kisses him one more time before heading out the door as Kurt is picking up the phone.

Blaine walks back into the front showroom grabs Santana and spins her around. “I found Kurt” he said with a smile on his face she hasn’t seen since senior year in high school. And she is happy for both of them.

Blaine went back to his apartment, nervous because he had just realized he hadn’t gotten Kurt’s number, sure he had given Kurt his, and Kurt seemed just as excited to see him, but what if Kurt didn’t reach out to him, what if he changed his mind. Blaine was pacing the length of his apartment when he heard his phone ring with an unknown number in his heart he knew it was Kurt


	8. Reconciliation

They spent hours on the phone talking that night, reconnecting, getting to know each other again. Before they knew it, it was midnight, neither one wanting to hang up but knowing they needed to.

“When can I see you” Blaine said, wishing it could be now

“Whenever you want I get off at 5 every day, so any time after that” Kurt said hopefully

“Crap, I start back tomorrow and I have to be at the theater at 6 and usually don’t get out till around 11. I need to see you Kurt” Blaine said sighing he was here, and still so very far away. At least now they could talk again, at least he had that, but it was nowhere near enough, he wanted Kurt in his arms again, he just wanted to hold him.

“Screw it, what are you doing after work tomorrow, other than the funeral and the week after I haven’t missed any performances so tomorrow will be my first” Blaine said laughing, that is what backups were for he thought.

“Are you sure Blaine I don’t want you to get into trouble?”

“I’m sure, we have a lot of time to make up for, how about I pick you up after work tomorrow and I take you out for dinner and we can talk some more.”

“I would really love that” Kurt said and Blaine could hear the smile in his voice.

“Ok, I will let you go now since you have to be at work early in the morning, and I will be there when you get off if that will be ok” Blaine said hopefully

“That would actually be really great” Kurt said and just before hanging up he said something that Blaine had missed so much “I love you Blaine” and then the phone disconnected

Blaine didn’t get a chance to say the words back even though he wanted to because the line disconnected, so he did the next best thing. He quickly added Kurt’s contact information into his phone and then sent a text “I love you too and you have so been missed” smiling Blaine headed to bed and slept better than he had in years. Tomorrow he would be with his Kurt and things couldn’t be more perfect.

When Blaine woke up the next morning he still had a smile on his face, and an urge to get into trouble. With a mischievous grin, he picked up his phone and dialed a number he knew by heart, not caring that it was only 6 in the morning. “Good morning San, I have a date” he said laughing, and laughed even harder when the phone disconnected barely hearing “Damnit Hobbit” first. He was in big time trouble he thought laughing, she only ever called him Hobbit when she was pissed. He should be scared, but at that moment, nothing could bring him down.

He got up and took a quick shower and dressed he had a lot to get done before 5. He pulled out his laptop to check his email and got notification that he had been accepted into the music teaching course at NYU and would be starting Monday. He looked at the book list he would need for his classes, figuring he could pick them up while he was running around today.

He went to the website of his favorite restaurant, and made an online reservation for 6 figuring that would give him and Kurt time to get there once he got off of work. Setting the reservations for tonight brought his mind back to Kurt; he quickly pulled out his phone.

“Morning baby, you awake yet” he texted Kurt, it was 6:45 and Kurt had always been an early riser, Blaine used to fuss on Saturdays when he wanted to sleep in and Kurt was calling him at 7am in the mood to talk. After the breakup he had missed those calls along with a lot of things.

“Yes, I have been awake since 5:30, I am a little surprised you are though lol” Kurt responded back.

“I seem to have had someone on my mind this morning and couldn’t sleep”

“Ahh, I had a little bit of that problem as well” Kurt said

“What time do you normally head to work” Blaine asks

“Usually about 8:30 since I don’t have to be there until 9, why what’s up”

“I was wondering if you might be interested in getting some coffee this morning” Blaine asks hoping he says yes, because he really wants to see him again.

“That actually sounds nice” Kurt replied

“Well if you want to give me your address, I can come pick you up and then drive you to work if you would like.” Once again Blaine hopes he says yes

“1436 Madison Ave Apartment 509”

When Kurt texted him his address, Blaine dropped his phone, there was no way “Kurt are you serious?”

“Yeah, why???” Kurt asked confused

“I live at 1436 Madison Ave Apartment 723 I am on my way down now” Blaine said jumping up, putting on his shoes, grabbing his keys, and wallet and went running out of the door.

He didn’t remember the elevator taking so long to get there, he was about to just run down the steps when he heard to bell letting him know it had arrived, he jumped in, pushed the button for the 5 th floor and waits for the hour it seems to take to get there.

When he gets to Kurt’s door he took a deep breath before knocking, it was almost answered immediately, like he had been standing by the door waiting on him, Blaine quickly pulls him into a hug and is kissing Kurt until he can’t breathe. “I have wanted to do that for so long” Blaine says with a soft smile on his face right before a whispered “Hi”

Kurt just looks at him, eyes shining “Hi”

Blaine leans in and kisses him one more time, “Are you ready for some coffee” he asks not taking his eyes off of Kurt, not ever wanting to look away.

“Sounds good” Kurt answers with a smile

They head to a coffee shop Blaine had found right after he moved to New York, he grabbed their coffee’s assuming Kurt still liked the same thing and then went and sat down with him. He had so many questions he wants to ask, but doesn’t really know where to start, and what he as a right to ask.

Blaine reaches across the table to hold Kurt’s hand, he sits and just stares into his eyes “I have missed you so much; I so regret what I did. I regret not stopping that day when you begged me too, to just listen to you. I was just so hurt and angry.”

Kurt looks down at their joined hands for a minute before taking a deep breath and looking up. “I have missed you every second of every minute of every day. I have missed being able to just do this, just hold your hand. I have missed your smile, the way you made me feel safe like no one ever has. You made me feel loved and cherished, like I mattered. I could make all the excuses in the world, but none of it will change anything, I took the best thing in my life and pushed it away. I don’t know I guess I started feeling like you were pulling away, at one point I felt like I was the center of your world, but then it felt like you were backing away. I understand now why, but then… I know I should have talked to you, asked you what was going on, but I was so scared of what you might say. What if you said that I was too much trouble, what if you told me I wasn’t worth the struggle, I was just too much. I was so afraid of losing you and then I did.”

“Oh baby you would never have been too much, Kurt my world revolved around you, you were my center, with you by my side I felt like I could do anything, be anything. I wanted to spend my life with you; I didn’t ever want to be away from you. That day I said I couldn’t come to your house, I had just gotten my first B ever, I know now that wasn’t bad but then, it was terrible. I was going to have to go home and tell my parents. I knew the first thing they were going to say was that I was spending too much time with you and not enough time studying, I was so afraid they were going to keep me away from you. Also I was afraid that it would keep me out of NYADA. I know I always said to talk to me, and I should have taken my own advice and talked to you. Explained why I couldn’t come over, not that I didn’t want to, but I was afraid of being kept away from you, and that thought just hurt too bad.”

“I have made so many mistakes, I need you to know that day was only the second time I had gone out with Chandler, the first time was the day I met him, and he took me to get coffee. We just talked. That day you saw me kiss him, I still don’t even know why I did it. I had this perfect relationship with someone who loved me. Someone who gave me courage, made me feel important. I have regretted what I did, I regret cheating on you, I regret hurting you, destroying us, and Blaine I would do anything I could to change it. I was so stupid. I would do anything to have you back in my life”

“Kurt, I want you back in my life, I do. I know you have been writing to me for years, but I need to know, and no judgment, but I need to know before we move forward, are you with anyone do you have a boyfriend. I know you just got here, but did you leave someone behind in London, because I couldn’t do that to someone else.”

Kurt just looked at Blaine, feeling a little hurt by the question, but understanding why he had to ask. Kurt had hurt him before; he had to protect his heart.

“No, I am not with anybody, I don’t have a boyfriend, to be honest you were the last boyfriend I had. No one could ever measure up to you. I went out with people, I tried but I couldn’t get over the fact that they weren’t you; no one could ever be you. I compared their smile to yours, their laugh to yours. I know you said I was your center, your world, but Blaine you have to realize you were mine as well. Without you I felt nothing. I felt no joy, without you there was nothing. I so almost gave up several times. It just hurt too bad. I think the only reason I didn’t was because of my dad, I know that would have killed him and I couldn’t do that to him.” Kurt said before wiping the tears off of his face.

Blaine just looked at him for a minute before reaching over and pulling him into his arms and onto his lap, just holding him as they both broke down, crying out their regrets. Regrets for time lost, regrets for past mistakes, and regrets for the pain they had both caused each other. They couldn’t go back and fix it, but they could look to the future, hopefully one together.

Blaine reached up with both his hands placing them on each side of Kurt’s face, just looking at him, into those eyes he had missed. “I love you Kurt, I never stopped loving you, and I will never stop loving you. I know we just found each other again, but I need you back in my life, I need you with me. But we really need to talk. Tonight after dinner can you come back to my apartment? I don’t expect anything, because we aren’t there yet, but I want to have somewhere private to talk.”

Kurt just looked at him with a soft smile on his face, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck. “I would really like that” Kurt said placing a soft kiss behind Blaine’s ear. He had missed this connection they had always had, the closeness he had always loved.

He straightened up and looked at his watch. “I hate to do this, I really do, but I need to head to work” he said really regretting that he had to leave Blaine’s arms. The place he had wanted to be for years.

Blaine released Kurt and they both stood up. He reached down to hold Kurt’s hand as he walked with him out of the coffee shop and back to his car. He walked around and opened the door for him, and then placed a gentle kiss on his lips. It had been too long. Before he was ready to let him go again, they were pulling up outside Kurts studio.

“I’ll pick you up at 5, try to have a good day” Blaine said as Kurt opened the car door

Kurt turned around before stepping out of the car, still not believing that Blaine was there in front of him again. “I can hardly wait.” He said smiling as he stepped out of the door.

When Blaine left Kurt he went to the concert hall, to let the director know he wouldn’t be working tonight, that something personal had come up. They gave him a little grief, but finally said ok. Blaine then went to the bookstore to get all the books he would need for his class starting on Monday.

He did everything under the sun to kill time until he could pick Kurt up again. What did he normally do during the day before he went to work? He knew he would occasionally visit Marc at work around lunch time but that was very rarely, he would work on whatever piece he would be performing that night, but he wasn’t performing tonight. He picked out the outfit he planned on wearing for the date, but that took all of five minutes, now what.

Why is it when you have something you are looking forward to time stops, but when you don’t want something to happen, time flies. He played on his keyboard for a while until he got bored, played the violin, and couldn’t get into it, after everything he did, it was still only noon and he had five more hours to go. San would know what to do.

Blaine pulled up outside the studio where Santana worked, walked in, and the receptionist told him right away that she was on a shoot across town. Well crap, that was hours of entertainment gone. Now what. He stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things for tonight, that way he would have something he could offer Kurt to snack on while they talked. He got cheeses so he could make a cheese platter, with fruit the way Kurt used to, he grabbed his favorite bottle of wine, and just because a cheesecake he remembered how much Kurt had loved those. He went home, put everything away, looked at his watch and had managed to kill a grand total of an hour. Come on. Only four hours left.

He cleaned his already clean apartment, stripped his bed and changed the sheets he had just changed yesterday; doing anything he could to stay busy until he could see Kurt again. This is crazy.

He ended up watching some YouTube fail videos and then reading a book he had gotten several months ago but never took the time to read.

Finally when it was time to pick up Kurt, he went into his room and put on the suit he had picked out this morning, adding a skinny tie. He missed his bowties sometimes. Checking himself one more time in the mirror, he put on his watch, grabbed his wallet and keys and headed for the door. He pulled up only five minutes early.

When Kurt walked out of the shop, he had changed clothes from this morning, he looked wonderful, Blaine stepped out of the car, walked around to open the door for him, unable to take his eyes off of him. He placed a soft kiss on Kurt’s cheek before he got in.

They went to the restaurant, and had a wonderful time, keeping the conversation light, enjoying their time together. After dinner they headed to Blaine’s apartment so they could talk.

“I’m going to go change really quick if you don’t mind” Blaine said walking out of the room, he was nervous and needed to step away for a minute.

When he walked back in the room, Kurt was sitting on the edge of the couch, looking nervous, the easiness of dinner gone.

“Do you want a glass of wine, or a soda?”he asked him trying to relieve some of his stress, they had always been so easy, they could talk about anything, there was very rarely a silent moment between them, but a lot has happened, a lot of time has passed.

“A glass of wine would be nice” Kurt answered back

Blaine went into the kitchen poured each of them a glass of wine placed it on a tray, he pulled out the cheese and fruit platter he had put together earlier today and carried it into the living room and placed it on the coffee table between them.

“Would you like to change, I have some stuff you can borrow” trying to get Kurt to relax

“No, I’m good” Kurt said still looking nervous

“Hey, come here” Blaine said before pulling Kurt close, placing a kiss on his lips gently. Why was everything so hard all of a sudden, why was there this tenseness that had never been between them, even back when they had first met.

“Baby, what’s wrong, talk to me” Blaine said looking at him starting to feel nervous himself.

“I guess I am waiting for the shoe to drop” Kurt said dropping his eyes refusing to look at Blaine.

“What do you mean” Blaine asked softly

“Blaine, I have wanted you back in my life for so long, I am just afraid I am going to do something stupid and push you away again. I don't think I could handle that again, I really don’t.

Blaine just pulled him closer, pulling him onto his lap so he could hold him. “Kurt, that isn’t going to happen, we are going to learn to talk to each other, communicate when something is wrong. I have had enough time without you, I know what that world is like and I don’t like it.”

Kurt pulled back a little and stared at him for a minute, judging what Blaine had said “You are being serious; you would be willing to try again after everything that happened?”

“Yes, I am but I need to know that that is what you want too, that you want to try us again, and see if we can make it work. If you don’t want that then I would like us to at least try to be friends. Kurt I can’t not have you in my life again, I just can’t. You were my best friend, the person who knew all my secrets, I have missed just being able to pick up the phone and talk to you. I want that back in one form or the other.”

“I would love that” Kurt said before leaning in and kissing Blaine, something he had wanted to do for a long time, yes Blaine had kissed him several times, and he had returned everyone of them, but he wanted to KISS Blaine. Show him everything he had been feeling.

After that kiss, it was like all tension was gone, they were able to be more like their old selves, they just talked, talked about everything that had changed in their lives, and everything that had stayed the same. Kurt finally got up the courage to ask Blaine about past relationships.

Blaine just looked at him for a minute, knowing this conversation would be coming at one point or the other. “I know you said you haven’t had a boyfriend since we broke up, I can’t say that. I have had two, my first boyfriend after you was Tom and we lasted for two months. I think I kept comparing him to you. He told me when we broke up that he refused to live with a ghost.”

“My second boyfriend was Marc, I met him my sophomore year at NYADA, we were in some of the same classes, we got along and could talk. He was nothing like you, and I liked that. I think that was the main problem with Tom, he was. He reminded me of you. With Marc there were no similarities at all. We dated for a year, and then lived together for two. Things started going on that I didn’t like, I’m not going to go into the what’s, because that isn’t important, we broke up the week after Uncle Don passed away, so just a few weeks ago.”

“Things had been going wrong for a while, but I just kept making excuses. I tried to hold on to a relationship that should have ended over a year ago. Santana kept trying to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. He showed his ass the week after Uncle Don died and that was it. We broke up.”

After that they were able to relax and talk to each other, to be them again, they laughed over old memories and new stories. Kurt talked about his time in London, how his dad was, and how glad he was to finally be able to be close to him again.

Blaine talked about the Symphony how much he liked it, but was getting burnt out on it. He was ready for a change. He told him about signing up for classes at NYU to study to be a teacher, his parents, about Cooper and his two little girls. About Addi starting to play violin, and Ari starting preschool, and some of the things she came up with to talk about.

It was comfortable like it used to be, back when they could spend hours together, and just enjoy each other. Before they realized it, it was midnight and Kurt had to get up in the morning for work.

“Hey, do you want to stay the night, no funny business I promise, I would just love to be able to spend the night with you again, just holding you” Blaine said almost afraid of the no he might hear.

Kurt looked at him for a few minutes “Yeah, I would really like that.”

Blaine stood up, held out his hand to Kurt, and helped him stand up, then, not releasing his hand he walked him towards his bedroom. He pulled some lounge pants and a t-shirt out of his drawer, and handed them to Kurt to put on.

Kurt walked to the bathroom to change which felt weird. They had been intimate a lot while they were together, had slept together, had seen each other naked, but to change in front of Blaine now just felt off. He missed the closeness they have always shared, where, after the first initial time they had made love; he had felt comfortable showing his body to Blaine, because Blaine had always made him feel beautiful.

When Kurt steps out of the bathroom Blaine was sitting on the side of the bed, he looks at Kurt and tilts his head sideways looking at him like he is almost asking why. He stands up pulls the covers back and lets Kurt get in bed and then he turns off the lights and crawled in beside him, lying on his back he pulled Kurt back into his arms, loving him being there, loving it when Kurt puts his arm across his chest and lays his head on his shoulder. He felt like he was finally home.

When Blaine woke up at 6 Kurt wasn’t beside him, he turned on his bedside light and that is when he sees the clothes Kurt had slept in, folded up neatly at the end of the bed. Blaine began to worry, had something gone wrong, had they moved to fast by sleeping together Blaine had just wanted Kurt back in his arms, not for sex but for the closeness. He was about to panic when he saw a text on his phone from about fifteen minutes ago. He started to relax.

“Good morning I headed home so I could grab a quick shower and get ready for work. I didn’t want to go through your things to find a piece of paper and a pen to write you a note so I carried your phone into the living room and texted you in there so it wouldn’t wake you up. I had fun last night, and hope to repeat it one day. I love you and I am so glad you are back in my life. You have been missed” Kurt…

Blaine is able to smile again “good morning sweetheart, are you interested in coffee again this morning” he sends the text heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he gets out he finds a text waiting on him.

“Would love that, do you want to come down here, or me come up there?”

Blaine quickly pulls on a shirt, dries his hair and then puts a little product in it to control the frizz before texting back “How about I meet you at your apartment, we go for coffee and I drive you to work again.”

“Sounds great, I’ll see you when you get here, the front door is unlocked so come in” replied.

Blaine grabs his wallet, and keys and heads to the door, making sure to lock it before heading to the elevator.

After that morning it became a standing date, Blaine would go to Kurt’s apartment every morning so he could take him for coffee and drive him to work. He would have to take a taxi back home, because by the time Kurt got out of work Blaine was already at the theater getting ready for his nightly performance.

After several days of being back Blaine was tired, tired of comments being made by the conductor, always making it sound like Blaine was doing something wrong, when he knew for a fact he was hitting every mark on time. Other members of the orchestra just looked on not understanding what the conductor was going on about. Blaine was actually playing better than ever, they felt he had a new spark in him, that had previously been missing, not that they felt he wasn’t good before, but he was so much better now.

Blaine was tired of not being able to spend more than a few stolen moments with Kurt in the morning while they had coffee, before having to drive him to work.

Everything blows up for Blaine on Friday, he wakes up late because his alarm didn’t go off, he didn’t hear the two text Kurt had sent him checking on him, he looked at his phone and that is when he realizes he had forgotten to turn his phone back off of vibrate mode last night after his performance, so his misses his time with Kurt that morning. He quickly texts Kurt to apologize and then gets dressed because for some reason practice has been scheduled early today.

When he gets to the theater, even though he is five minutes early, everyone else is already there, “Well now that the “STAR” of the show has decided to grace us with his presence we can get started” the conductor stated.

Blaine just stares at him not knowing what to say, every other member of the orchestra just stared at the conductor with their mouths open, everyone knew that Blaine was on time.

“Do we have a problem” Blaine asks as nicely as possible

“Yes, I have a problem with lateness” The conductor responds back

“Ok but I am not late” Blaine says starting to get mad

“Mr. Anderson, if you wouldn’t mind to stop acting like a Prima Dona, maybe we can get some work done today”

Blaine just stands there not knowing where any of this was coming from; he had always gotten along with Mr. Jacobs. They had never even had a harsh word, but he refuses to stand there and take it, to let this man try to humiliate him in front of his peers.

“You know what Mr. Jacobs, from one Prima Dona to the next” Blaine picks up someone’s sax and holds it up too him “Why don’t you take this horn, shove it so far up your ass, so that when you fart, you will finally be able to actually play music you jackass, I am out of here” Blaine said as he turns around and walks out the door.

By the time Blaine got home, his phone was ringing. The Director, the actual head of the symphony was calling him to ask him to come back. After Blaine had left it would seem every member of the orchestra had gone to him, told him what it would happen. What they found out was that Mr. Jacobs had wanted Blaine to quit, so that his nephew, the one no one had even known was his nephew could be moved to second chair in place of Blaine.

Blaine was informed that Mr. Jacobs was now looking for another job. He asked Blaine to come back he knew what a valuable member of the orchestra he actually was. Blaine decided to pass. Even though he loved it, loved being on that stage, he knew deep down he had been burnt out for a while. This morning had just been a push in the right direction, that he had needed to help his decision along.


	9. My Boyfriend Back

Blaine does the first thing he always does whenever something has happened to him in the past. He goes to Santana, she has always given him good advice. Once again the minute he walks in she is notified and she is there within minutes. She just has to look at him to know something is wrong

“What’s up Blaine are you guys having trouble all ready” she asks wrapping her arm around his waist and leads him to her space so they can talk.

“No it isn’t Kurt that is actually better than I thought it would be. I went to work this morning because we had an early rehearsal, I ended up quitting.”

“Blaine, why what happened, you love that job” she questioned

“Me and Mr. Jacobs had a blow up in front of everyone. He said some things that I didn’t like and called him on it, but the thing is I was almost relieved. You know how burnt out I have been, I had planned on staying with it though at least until after school, it almost felt like a relief.”

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“I was thinking about going back to Provincetown and spend the weekend, get in a better headspace for school, recharge I guess.”

Santana looks at him for a minute, “Why don’t you ask Kurt to go with you, let him see the place, since it was designed around the both of you, see if you too can really connect again.”

“San, do you think I am crazy to reconnect with him after everything that went on, should I have just left it alone?”

“Blaine that is a question you have to ask yourself, what do you want, because from everything I have ever seen with you, you are still as in love with him as you were before. Yes, you tried to make a life without him, I am not going to say you were miserable but you weren’t truly happy either and you haven’t been since that day, back in high school, when you walked into the Lima Bean. That was the last day you were truly happy. Search your heart and I think you will have your answer. You have both grown so much since then, gotten older. You both know what life is like with each other and unfortunately, what it is like apart as well.”

“This time though you need to talk, I know you kept asking Kurt to talk to you if something was wrong, but you never really talked to him either. You always seemed to think you had to be the strong one, you had started out as this mentor, and you never really got over it. You were keeping secrets, I know you were trying to surprise him, but when the whole texting thing happened, I think you should have told him. No matter which way this goes, I am here for you. But I honestly think you need this Blaine. That day at your parents when you got drunk you kept begging your mom to “Just call Kurty mama, he’ll tell you we didn’t break up, and then you looked at me and said right San, and I saw something I hadn’t seen in a very long time, I saw a 17 year old Blaine who was still so very much in love with Kurt.”

“You were drunk, your inhibitions were down and you were talking from your heart, you at that moment felt you and Kurt were still together, and I saw you truly happy for the first time in a long time. I didn’t say anything later because you were still trying to work things out with Marc, trying to work that whole thing out. I think you need each other. Trust yourself Blaine and learn to trust him again too. I love you, and I am always here for you ok, but I don’t really think I am the one you should be having this conversation with, do you?”

Blaine just looked at her, thought about everything that had been going on. Remembered how things were with Marc even from the beginning when things were really good. He wasn’t going to lie and say that he wasn’t happy with Marc, because he had been, but the time he has been with Kurt has shown him, or reminded him what happiness was. With Kurt he felt alive again, were as with Marc he had just been living. He wanted and needed Kurt beside him.

“Thanks San, I needed that. I have my answer, now I just need to go ask him the question. I love you and again thanks for always being there, I know I haven’t always been the easiest friend in the world” Blaine say pulling her in a hug.

“Sometime next week, I would like you two to come over, I would love to get to see Kurt again. I have missed him too”

“I’ll see what we can you do, I’ll talk to you later and thanks again” Blaine said with a grin, before turning around and heading to the door. He knows that Kurt is at work, that this is their opening day but he just needed to see him for a minute, he had missed their coffee this morning. He was used to Kurt being back in his life and didn’t want to miss any minute he could be with him.

He drives to Kurt shop, and it is busy, the place is packed and there was Kurt, in his element walking around talking to people with a smile on his face. But when he looks up, and sees Blaine, that smile changes into what Blaine had always thought of as “his” smile, the smile Kurt had only ever used for him, and everything was right in his world again. In that moment all his doubts were wiped away.

He waits for a while, not interrupting Kurt letting him work, watching him, how he interacts with everyone, and he is so proud. He is there for about fifteen minutes before he sees Kurt start to work his way over to him.

“Can you believe this place, this is crazy. I figured we would be busy but not like this. I missed you this morning by the way”

“I am so sorry, I forgot to take my phone off of vibrate last night. When do you think you might get a break, I wanted to talk to you about something”

Kurt looks at him a few minutes and Blaine can tell he is starting to worry “Baby, it isn’t bad I promise. I just don’t want to have this conversation in the middle of a packed showroom where I can’t kiss you and convince you that what I am asking you to do, makes absolutely perfect sense” Blaine said with a grin

“Give me a minute” he said before walking away to talk to someone and then was walking back over to Blaine “Ok, I have about ten minutes, if you want, we can go to my office and talk” Kurt said and Blaine could tell by the sound of his voice and the set of his face he is really worried about what Blaine was about to say.

He heads back to the door marked employees only, and Blaine follows him until they get to the office. Blaine quickly closes the door and pulls Kurt into his arms and into the kiss he has been waiting on all morning. He pulls back not liking the look of doubt on Kurt’s face. He knows it is going to take them both time before they were completely comfortable with each other again, but he doesn’t like to see Kurt looking like that at all.

Blaine brings up his hands and puts one on either side of Kurt’s face the way he used to, rubbing small circles on his cheeks with his thumbs. Placing another soft kiss on Kurt’s soft lips, he feels his heart soar and just like that, he knows he is home.

“Kurt, please don’t worry, like I said, this isn’t bad. I wanted to ask you what you were doing this weekend, I was thinking about heading to Provincetown and wanted to know if you would be interested in going with me. That house was designed for the both of us, based on thousands of conversations we had. I just feel like it is finally time I share that with you” he said before leaning in to kiss him again.

Kurt looks at him for a minute before his face broke into a big smile and he nods his head “I would really like that, no convincing needed, or maybe a little convincing won’t hurt,” he said with a laugh. Blaine quickly dove in and kissed him like he had wanted to since he walked in the door, deep and passionate, before stepping back, and looking at him.

“Convinced?” Blaine asks in a husky whisper, more turned on than he has been in a long time.

“For now, but you might need to convince me again later” Kurt responded feeling almost back to how they used to be, where they could joke with each other and also feel the sexual tension between them. Now if he could just shake the nerves, he had never had around Blaine before, not even in the beginning.

“Anytime you need convincing, just let me know.” Blaine said looking in his eyes, loving just how blown they looked from just one kiss. They had always had that effect on each other, just a look or a touch could set them off, turn them on.

“I might hold you too that” Kurt says in a whisper

“Ok ...,” Blaine said trying to get his thoughts back in order. Because the only thing he could think about right then was convincing Kurt more, wanting him in his arms but also trying to remind himself that he is in Kurt’s workplace.

“Why don’t I pick you up when you get off work, drive you to your apartment and let you pack and then we can catch a flight. I can get us a reservation, and we can catch a cab to the house. If we had longer than just the weekend we would just drive” Blaine says so happy that Kurt had agreed.

“Don’t you have to work tonight” Kurt asked him questioningly.

“I’ll tell you about that tonight. Let me let you get back to work, I will go and schedule our flights” Blaine said placing another soft kiss on Kurt’s lips, before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love you so much,” he said before kissing him again.

“Love you too. I should be able to be out of here by 4 since we just opened and I don’t have any orders to deal with yet.” He says before opening the office door and heading back to the store.

Blaine heads home happy, he quickly texts Santana to let her know that Kurt had agreed to go with him, and to thank her one more time for this morning. He booked him and Kurt a flight leaving out at 5:30 figuring that would give them time for Kurt to pack and catch their flight.

He then called the woman he had hired to clean the house once a week, to let her know he would be coming in for the weekend, that way it would be ready when they got there, she also agreed to go to the store to stock the refrigerator and cabinets so he wouldn’t have too, making sure that coffee was on the top of the list. If he remembered anything about Kurt from the past it was that a non coffee’d Kurt wasn’t always the best thing to be around in the mornings he thought with a smile.

Walking into his room, he pulls out his suitcase and starts packing everything he thinks he will need. Making sure his travel kit was stocked with his travel deodorant, cologne, electric razor, hair product and toothbrush. A few of the things he puts in there, he doesn’t know if he will need, but wanted to be prepared just in case. 

If everything works out, he is hoping that this could be a weekend getaway spot for them, if not every weekend every other weekend at least, if their schedules allowed it that is. He planned on doing some shopping and leaving some of the basics there.

He was zipping up his carry on suitcase when he felt his phone vibrate letting him know he had a text message, which reminded him to pack his phone charger. He grabbed it put it in his case and then pulled his phone out of his pocket assuming it was Kurt, he started smiling. They had gotten to where they texted a lot during the day. Then the smile instantly left his face.

_ “Blaine, I owe you an apology, what I did was so wrong. I did what I did without your permission, knowing you were already mad at me. I just thought it would help you relax, and maybe not be so mad at me. I guess I should have thought that over better. Can we please talk; I miss you beyond belief and love you more than you can ever know. Please say we can at least talk.” -M _

Blaine sits on his bed, re-reading the text. He had honestly never thought he would hear from Marc again. He thought he had said everything he could possibly say. But reading the part about how he loved Blaine, reminded him how he had felt when he thought he was losing Kurt, how much it had hurt, and just how much he had loved him. But things had been going bad with Marc for a long time, and Blaine had just kept trying. But there comes a time when you have to realize things aren’t getting better, and the best thing for everyone involved was to end it. Walk away. So taking a deep breath he responds.

“Marc, I am sorry. I don’t think that would be a good idea. I think it is time for us both to move on. We had just gotten to a point where we were no longer working. I am sorry if this hurts you, I never intended that to happen, but during our last argument and what happened after; things went way too far, both in words and actions. How would I ever be able to trust you again? So no I don’t think we need to talk, I think we just need to move on.” – B

_ “Blaine please just give me one more chance to make this right” – M _

“How do you possibly think you could ever make what you did right? You used me without my consent, and on top of that without protection. You knew from our first time together where I stood on that, you knew my feelings, and you chose to ignore them. How you could do what you did and ask me to talk to you again is beyond belief.” –B

_ “So, there is no chance, no chance at all” -M _

“No Marc, there isn’t, I am seeing someone else now, I am hoping to make it work with him. So please don’t text or call me anymore”-B

_ “So, you are already seeing someone else… Well wasn’t that quick… so you were cheating on me the whole time, because there is no way you met someone else that quick Blaine”-M _

“And, just like that, bring on the crazy. No Marc, I wasn’t cheating on you. Once you have gone through that, and know what pain it can cause, you wouldn’t do that to someone else. It isn’t something  **_I_ ** would ever do to someone else.” -B

_ “It seems like some perfect timing to me Blaine, for you not to have been cheating on me, fine; I will try not to bother you anymore. I hope you are happy” –M _

Blaine just kind of scratched his head and not for the first time he is seriously glad that that was over. He had had enough crazy in his life. He was looking forward to something different. Or as different as him and Kurt have ever been he thought with a laugh. He picked up is carry on and headed for the door. So he might be a few minutes early, but that was ok. He was ready to see Kurt

oOoOo

Blaine stops for coffee on the way to get Kurt, he wanted some for himself, and it never hurt to have one ready for Kurt if he had had a bad day. When he walks out of the shop, seeing Blaine’s car there, he breaks into a smile, Blaine gets out walks around the car, and opens the door for him dropping a quick kiss on his lips before he gets in.

He drives them home and walks with Kurt to his apartment, holding his hand. Needing to feel the connection with him after the text he had shared with Marc earlier. If things go the way he wants them too this weekend, he may need to talk to Kurt about the text. He didn’t want any secrets between them this time, so just like he had told him about every text from Sebastian he feels he will need to talk to him about Marc’s as well.

Blaine looked around Kurt’s apartment. He had picked him up at the door, and Kurt had been to his apartment but this is Blaine’s first time in Kurt’s. He looks around and sees shipping boxes that Kurt hasn’t had time to unpack yet, but also sees what he has. On the back of the couch, he sees a very familiar blanket from the times they had snuggled together in Kurt’s dorm room at Dalton, and just as Kurt had described in his letter it was starting to get a little threadbare. He apparently had been using that blanket a lot.

On his bookshelf, where the DVD collection was, there were a lot of pictures. Burt and Carol, Rachel and Finn, and then, there was them. A picture from the prom, they had gone to the year they had met. Blaine picked it and just stared at it. He had felt so much love for him that night, he could still remember, looking forward to summer vacation, so they could be back together again. Then he sees the one they had taken after their first date as an official couple. He remembers how nervous he had felt, trying so hard to impress Kurt.

Then he sees a stack of pictures that were bent. Picking them up, he recognizes them right away, and feels a tear slid down his face. These were the ones that he had hung in his locker proudly for anyone to see. Him and Kurt smiling in six different pictures, remembering how he had pulled them down and thrown them away, so hurt and so upset. And just like that he breaks down, thinking about everything, what they had lost, and the time they could have been together.

He feels Kurt walk up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, and just holds him tight. Blaine turns in his arms so he can hold him back needing him in his arms. “Kurt I am so sorry, I just threw us away like I did these pictures.”

“Blaine, you need to stop. You have nothing to be sorry for. You had every right to be upset after what I did. Would I have preferred you to talk to me yes, but this isn’t on you. You need to stop blaming yourself. Let’s just work on now ok. See if we can do US again. I am tired of crying, I am tired of feeling so guilty I feel like crawling into bed covering my head and not coming back out. I want to be happy again.” Kurt says wiping tears off of his own face.

“Let’s do that” Blaine said pulling him closer, sharing a sweet kiss before they walked out the door, and then head to the airport.

oOoOo

Blaine looked at Kurt as they pulled up to what he now considers “Their” lighthouse. He saw the look of awe cross his face, then the smile and then his face lit up.

“Blaine, this is it, this is what we always talked about” He said just above a whisper just staring at it.

They got out of the cab, and Blaine paid the driver. They sat their bags on the front steps, and then Blaine held out his hand to Kurt leading him to the garage. He opened it and let Kurt go in first, and he watched Kurt cry. “Oh man I talked to Don all the time about this car. How you were going to buy one and drive me around” he said with a sad laugh. “I miss getting to go by and see him. He was always there for me when I really had no right to expect him to be.” Kurt said softly walking around looking at it.

“Come on, the best is yet to come” Blaine said once again reaching out for Kurt’s hand. When Kurt walked in the house, he looked around with his mouth open.

“When I got here, it was like our ghosts were everywhere. I had seen you at the Lima Bean, then I pulled up outside this house and it was so like our whispered conversation, all those talks we had snuggled up together. Then I looked in the garage and there was our car. I was so shocked Kurt. I had never talked to anyone but you about our place, and yet here it was in front of me.”

“I had never talked about that car to anyone, but you. I almost couldn’t breathe, there was losing Uncle Don, someone who had almost been like a second father to me, seeing you at the Lima Bean, and then this house and that car, memories just came flooding back. Then I walked in and I found this. Blaine said walking over to where he had put his letter from uncle Don, and handed it to Kurt.

Kurt read it, and with tears rolling down his face he walked over to Blaine and pulled him into a hug, crying so hard his shoulders shook, burrowing his face in Blaine’s neck the way he used to and Blaine just held on for dear life, crying with him.

“Come on, let me show you around” Blaine said when they were finally cried out, and led him first to the kitchen, and then spare bedroom, and then to what he hoped they would call their room. He knows it might be too early, but he wanted Kurt to be his. He wanted his boyfriend back, the only one to him, which had ever matter.


	10. Be Mine

That night they ate at Pepe's Wharf. It had outside seating so they could look at the ocean and the coastline while they ate their meal. It was both elegant and relaxed at the same time, giving them some time alone so they could talk, reconnect and just be them again.

After they ate Blaine suggested that they go for a walk on the beach before heading home. He wasn’t ready for this day to be over yet. He stood back and watched Kurt as he took off his shoes and socks and walked barefoot through the sand. He was still so in awe of the man in front of him, despite having known him for seven years. He still had the ability to make his heart flutter and his mouth go dry, by doing that one simple thing, just being Kurt. Blaine was so in love.

They walked hand in hand, enjoying being them again, no outside pressures, just them. Blaine stops and pulls Kurt into his arms before placing a gentle kiss on his lips, still tasting the wine they had drunk with dinner when he did so. It was a wonderful mixture of Sauvignon Blanc and Kurt, which soon had him deepening the kiss and pulling Kurt closer. He had missed this so much, and it wasn’t until he had Kurt back in his arms that he realized just how much.

“Kurt, I have wanted to ask you something all day, but I am afraid you will think it is too soon. I want you to be mine again, I love you more now than I ever have, I know we have been apart for five years, and yes that is longer than we were even together, but I do. I want you in my life Kurt; I need you in my life. I was hoping you would be willing to be my boyfriend again. I know we still have a lot to work out, a lot of conversations we need to have” Blaine smiled looking at him, “And yes we need to work on our communication skills, but I really think we can work.”

Kurt just stared at him, his heart pounding, not believing this is happening, something he had wanted to happen since the day Blaine had turned around and walked out of his life. He felt the tears filling his eyes and then slip down his cheeks, happier than he has been in a long time. Blaine wanted him back, he felt like cheering and crying at the same time, not exactly sure which one he wanted to do first. He settled with just a big grin

“Yes, yes, yes” he said before slamming himself back into Blaine’s arm, not even caring that he almost caused them both to fall in the sand, laughing as Blaine picked him up and slowly spun him around, before setting him back on his feet and then kissing him breathless.

“Let’s go home” was all Blaine needed to say.

oOoOo

They went back to the house and talked, really talked. They discussed them, what had gone wrong before so they could avoid the same thing in the future. If one of them said something, did something, or didn’t do something, they would talk about it. They would fix it then, not wait, not wanting the mistakes of their past to be repeated. Kurt and Blaine both agreed that if they had done that before, there was a possibility that their problems could have been avoided. They knew what they were fighting for this time, how important it was, both never wanting to be apart like that again.

Blaine tells Kurt about what had happened at the symphony, why he had quit. He told him that even though he had loved his time there, was proud to have been part of it, he had gotten burnt out, which is why he had enrolled at NYU so he would have a teaching degree to fall back on when the time came to change professions, he hadn’t really thought it would be so soon though.

Kurt talked about his job that he was excited to be the head designer, but was tired. He had been with the same company for years, working long hours, and doing what others wanted. He was grateful for the opportunity they had given him so he could come home, and the promotion but he wanted more. He wanted his own space. He talked about when he decided on fashion instead of theater, he had thought by now he would have his own label, not working on someone else’s. He too was burnt out.

When Kurt yawned for the third time, Blaine looked at his watch and saw that it was almost midnight, and Kurt had been up since early that morning. He stood up and held out his hand for Kurt.

“Come on, let’s go to bed” he said leading the way to the bedroom they would now share.

Blaine doesn’t know why he feels so nervous, they have slept together before, but this just feels different somehow. True when they were dating before they had never slept together, when Blaine spent weekends at the Hummel’s he had always slept in a pull out bed in the den, while Kurt was in his bed upstairs. And the last time they slept together, right after they had reconnected, they hadn’t been a couple, but now, they were. Blaine could tell Kurt felt the same way.

“Why does this feel so weird” Blaine looks at Kurt questioningly

“I don’t know, I guess because it has been a long time” Kurt answered in a low voice looking a little sad again, before looking down at the floor.

“Hey….” Blaine said bringing up his hand and placing a finger under Kurt’s chin gently pushing his face up to look at him, “let’s just play this by ear ok. We are just getting back together; let’s not push for something we aren’t ready for yet. I think we will know when the time comes. For me it isn’t all about sex, I enjoy, well have always enjoyed, just holding you, being with you. Let’s just be like we were in the beginning. We didn’t meet and jump right in to it. We learned about each other, let’s just do that again.”

“I like the sound of that” Kurt said with a smile finally appearing back on his face, he walked over to Blaine and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

They both stripped down to their boxers and climbed in bed facing each other sharing little kisses until they both fell asleep cuddled together both completely relaxed.

Blaine was woken up about four hours later when Kurt shifted in his sleep, and Blaine felt his erection rub into him. He was wide awake now and completely hard, he laid there for a minute before pulling Kurt’s hips closer, enjoying the contact.

He started placing small little kisses on his forehead, both of his eyes down his nose, his checks, and then noticing that Kurt was awake, he attacked his mouth, kissing him the way he had wanted to for a long time, deep and passionate. He started kissing up Kurt’s jaw, to his ear sucking gently on the lobe before gently nibbling on it.

And then he was back on that mouth that had always driven him crazy, slipping his tongue into Kurt’s mouth so he could taste him, deepening the kiss not able to get enough. He started gently rocking his hips so their erections lined up giving them both that sweet friction they needed, Kurt arched his back, rocking his hips into Blaine, joining the dance that they had shared so many times in the past.

Blaine gently rolled Kurt onto his back, never once stopping the kisses they shared, needing more contact with Kurt like he needed air to breathe. Kurt opened his legs a little so they slotted together better before reaching out and sliding his hands down to Blaine’s ass squeezing him, and forcing him down harder. Blaine still knew Kurt so well, he knew he was close, so he started rocking his hips faster, pressing down harder, deepening their kiss until Kurt ripped his mouth away, gasping out a moan, and then yelled out Blaine’s name as he came harder than he had in a very, very long time. Blaine continued to rock his hips into Kurt, chasing his on release, within minutes he followed him over the edge, kissing him as he did so.

Blaine slowly rolled off of Kurt, pulling him with him so they were lying on their sides, facing each other, the whole time gently kissing him pulling him tighter into his arms. He had always enjoyed cuddling with Kurt after they were intimate. He was so relaxed and content; he just didn’t want to let him go.

“I guess we were ready” Kurt said with a soft laugh once Blaine freed his lips, going back to nibbling his ear.

“It was your fault” Blaine softly growled

“How was it my fault, I was asleep” he questioned still laughing

“You moved” Blaine answered before kissing his neck, just behind the ear

“I moved”? He questioned

“Yes, I was minding my own business, sleeping deeply, dreaming innocently of puppies and kittens, when all of a sudden I was poked with something hard, in a very sensitive place and that was all she wrote.” He said with a deep sigh, “Sooo this was all your fault.” Blaine said looking at Kurt from under his lashes, looking oh so innocent

“Well….. I guess next time I should sleep in the spare room so we don’t have to worry about me moving, thus causing you do something you don’t want to do” He sighed deeply trying to look serious, but not being able to keep the grin off his face

“Oh hell no” Blaine growled pulling him even closer before attacking his mouth again.

They stayed snuggled up together until they both started feeling an uncomfortable cold stickiness in their boxers and decide to take a shower, which caused even more “trouble” because while they were in there, once again… Kurt moved.

Once they get out of the shower and had gotten dressed, Blaine went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee and made breakfast for both of them. Kurt had wanted to help, but Blaine wanted to do this for him.

Whenever he had spent the night at the Hummel’s he had always enjoyed making Kurt breakfast. He quickly throws together cream cheese and strawberry crepes pairing that with a couple of slices of crispy bacon that he knew Kurt had always loved.

He poured them both a cup of coffee, and placed them on the tray with their breakfast, and then walked into the living room to join Kurt on the couch. He placed the tray on the coffee table and then leaned in to give Kurt a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you” he said staring into those eyes he had gotten lost in hundreds of times, happy and content for the first time in a long time.

Kurt just looks at him, sometimes still not believing he is there, “I love you too” he says back.

They finish breakfast, and then decide to go for a walk down the coastline, holding hands and watching as the sun starts to rise, just enjoying each other, enjoying their time together. Making up for oh so much lost time.

They slowly walked back to the house, deciding to get their wallets and keys and head into town and look around. They explore the historical parts of Provincetown, looking at the plaques and statues, going into the fisherman’s museum, and an art gallery, before grabbing some seafood for lunch at one of the restaurants on the wharf.

They share memories and stories from their past, and things they hope for, for their future and seductive looks. They stay there as long as they can, feeling the sexual tension between them, even after this morning. When neither one of them can handle it any longer, they both stood up almost together, slowly reaching out and grabbing each other’s hand. With unspoken thoughts not needing words they walked back to the car, and head back to the house.

Blaine unlocks and opens the door letting Kurt go in first, before following him in and shutting and locking the door. He then reaches down and gently takes Kurt’s hand leading him to the bedroom. He quickly grabs the lube and a condom out of his suitcase, before heading to the bed, and placing them both in the middle of it.

He turns around facing Kurt and starts slowly unbuttoning his shirt, never taking his eyes off of him, making sure that this was what he wanted as well. He leans in and starts kissing him, reaching down and unbuckled his belt, unbuttons, and unzipped his jeans before putting both his hands on Kurt’s sides, running them over his ass and then under the waistband of his jeans and boxers squeezing his ass and pulling his hips closer, loving the feeling of him hard against him, wanting Blaine as much as he wanted him.

He quickly finishes pushing Kurt’s pants down, and helping him step out of them, before removing his own clothes, and then he gently pushes Kurt down and onto the bed, following him. He starts gently kissing Kurt’s lips again, taking his time, in no hurry, wanting to just love this beautiful man under him. He slowly starts kissing down his neck, down his chest placing kisses, on each of his nipples, sucking on each gently before he starts kissing down his chest, down his stomach to his belly button running his tongue around it while looking up at Kurt under his lashing.

He continues kissing his way down his abdomen, down to his leg completely skipping over the part that Kurt so desperately needs attention paid too. Blaine hears his soft whimper but keeps on slowly kissing down his leg to the knee and then back up his inner thigh, noticing how Kurt becomes unbelievably harder, he gets to just under his left ball, sucking a mark on him in the most tender spot, that spot he knows had always driven Kurt to distractions before taking the ball itself gently into his mouth, loving the feel of it, before moving to the right and doing the same thing feeling as Kurt thrust his hips up slightly.

He had always enjoyed taking his time with Kurt, driving him crazy. He had been the last person Blaine had been like this with. With Marc, yes he had given blow jobs, but never really enjoyed doing it, but with Kurt it was different, he loved taking his time, pleasuring him anyway possible. He slowly licked up Kurt’s shaft, hearing the sharp intake of breath from him as he did so. He licked around the head, across the tip, tasting the pre cum, driving himself a little crazy as well. Blaine was so unbelievably hard himself, but wanted to make this good for Kurt. He slowly takes Kurt into his mouth, gently starts sucking as he moves down his shaft hollowing his cheeks, before he starts moving up and down slowly.

He reaches out with his hand and grabs the lube and condom from where he had placed them, never stopping moving slowly up and day, he lubes up one of his fingers, and gently slides it into Kurt, slowly moving it in and out keeping rhythm with his mouth, using his experience with Kurt’s body as a guide he removes his finger squirts more lube on his hand, before slowly inserting a second finger, once again moving it in and out, but this time turning it slightly so that it just brushes Kurt’s prostate, causing him to thrust his hips up, and slam Blaine in the back of the throat.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry” Kurt whispered, so far gone. When Blaine looked up with a smile, he saw how blown Kurt’s eyes were, and could tell just by looking at him how close he was to cuming. That was not how he wants their first time together to go, so he slowly moves his mouth up and off of Kurt, hearing him moan as he did so. Blaine just looks at him with a tender smile “I have you baby” he said, his voice husky from his own need.

He slowly pulls out his fingers from Kurt, once again applying more lube, before sliding in a third finger scissoring them to make sure he stretches Kurt as much as possible, so that when he enters him it won’t be as painful, once again wishing like he used to, that he didn’t have to hurt him in the beginning to bring him pleasure. Marc had always loved it rough and hard, but with Kurt he wanted to take his time, loving him too much to hurt him any more than was necessary.

Kurt finally let him know he was ready, by reaching between his legs and slowly started pulling on Blaine’s hand so he would remove his fingers. Blaine got on his knees, between Kurt’s legs, rubbing his hands up and down them comfortingly, looking into those beautiful blue eyes he loved so much, making sure by looking at him that Kurt was ready, and he could tell he was. He slowly leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips “I love you” he said before sitting back on his heels, reaching for the condom, tearing it open with his teeth before slowly rolling it on.

Grabbing the lube again, he squirts more on his hand before rubbing it up and down his shaft, to make sure he was as slick as possible, to once again insure the least amount of discomfort for Kurt as possible. He shifts back up on his knees, rubbing the excess lube he had on his hand, around Kurt’s hole, before lining up the head of his cock and slowly pushing forward. He stopped when his head slipped through the first barrier of muscle, giving Kurt time to adjust before sliding slowly further in, taking his time watching Kurt for signs of pain, that he was moving too fast. When he bottoms out, he waits, and gives Kurt time to adjust, before slowly sliding out, and then gliding back in.

Blaine about cried, he had forgotten just how wonderful it felt, making love with Kurt. Sex without feelings wasn’t the same, and that is what he had been having. Kurt had been the last person he had made love too, for him it had always been Kurt. He leaned over and gently kissed Kurt, watching him, loving how he looked, and the expressions he made when he was this turned on.

“I love you so much” Blaine said as he thrust his hips forward leaning on his arms, but keeping his abdomen as close to Kurt’s as possible that way he felt the friction made by Blaine’s abdomen on his swollen cock with every thrust of his hips. He had learned to do that with Kurt when they first started having sex, loving that he could usually bring him to climax without having to use his hand. Not that he minded doing it, but Kurt had always seemed to get more pleasure out of it this way. Kurt was once again the last person he had done that with. With Marc he had just reached between them during sex to help get him there.

Blaine loved that there were still so many things that he had only shared with Kurt. He slowly noticed the tale tale signs that Kurt was about to cum, he always made this cute little noise that Blaine has never been able to describe, but always made him smile, Kurt usually then balls up his fists, and then his thumbs starts to twitch.

It had taken about a month with Kurt watching him, because he had always loved watching him when he came undone, but he had finally figured out what he considered Kurt’s “tale”. He started deepening his thrust pushing his hips down harder, getting his body even closer to Kurt’s swollen cock, rubbing on it with every thrust of his hips, and then he was cuming between them.

Blaine could feel it warm on his belly, feeling that was all it took to tip himself over the edge, a few more thrusts and he was cuming harder than he has in a long time, filling the condom, while buried deep inside of Kurt. He leaned over and kissed him long and passionately, chasing his tongue, loving the feeling of being buried inside of him. He slowly pulls out of Kurt knowing how sensitive he always was after.

Blaine slips off the condom, ties it off before throwing it in the trash can by the side of the bed, he then lies down on his side, pulling Kurt into his arms, trying to catch his breath. He still loves holding Kurt in his arms after making love. Cuddled up beside him, because to him the after had always been just as important as the during with Kurt. A way of extending their intimacy just being able to hold him, love him. When he catches his breath, he reaches behind himself and grabs a couple of Kleenex from the box his cleaning lady must have left for him, and used them to clean Kurt and himself off until they were ready to move and shower.

“Why” Kurt asked him, hiding his face in the crook of Blaine’s neck

“Why what Baby” Blaine asked not understanding the question

“Why did you use a condom, we never used them before” Kurt asks finally looking up at Blaine, biting on his lip as if he was nervous.

Blaine struggles with the answer. He wore a condom because he was still a little worried, yes he had had two test run but was still a little concerned. He had planned on waiting a month after the last test was done to have one more, which would be next week. He hadn’t expected to reconnect with Kurt before that, so until he has that last test, he will just wear a condom, he needs to keep Kurt safe, so he answers him the best way he can.

“Kurt, I know you haven’t been with anyone else, but I have, I have been with two other people” Which was true he had been with Jarrod once a few weeks after he had broken up with Kurt and with Marc. He had never been with Tom. They had only dated for a little over two months and had never reached that stage in their relationship before Tom had ended it.

“I need to be tested before I will feel comfortable doing anything with you without one. I can’t risk your health, you understand that right” he said as he softly as he notices the tears running down Kurt’s face.

“It’s my fault, it I hadn’t done what I did you would have never been with anyone else, I would still be the only one.” He said sadly, snuggling further into Blaine

“Kurt you need to stop this ok, you are still the only person I have ever loved, no one else ever or could ever capture my heart, because it always belonged to you. I just need to get tested and then we can go from there. I love you” he said pulling Kurt just a little closer. It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either. For now it was enough, not yet ready to get into everything Marc had done, wanting that test first, so he could stop putting his life on hold.

They snuggled together until Blaine heard Kurt’s stomach rumble and couldn’t help but laugh looking at him. “Well I was just about to ask you if you wanted to grab something to eat and then watch a movie, but I think you answered me before I had to ask” Kurt just laughed.

They got up, took a shower, got dressed and went into the kitchen to see what they could throw together for dinner. They quickly made chicken pasta, and a side salad. They ate sitting snuggled up on the couch watching Mama Mia, the only movie that was there to watch.

“What time is our flight back tomorrow” Kurt asked sad that their time here was coming to a close.

“Twelve. I don’t want to go, I want to just stay here forever” Blaine said pulling Kurt tighter into his arms snuggling into him

“I feel the same, but I have work tomorrow, and you start school sooo” Kurt responded not any happier.

“We can always come back you know, it doesn’t have to be a one time thing, I was kind of hoping we could come every other weekend so we can spend time together, away from the craziness of the city” Blaine said hopefully

“I would really like that” Kurt whispered back before he reached out to kiss Blaine on the cheek, loving just being held by him, he had missed this so much.

After they finished the movie they just snuggled closer, talking about everything and nothing just enjoying their time together, getting to know each other all over again. They headed to bed around eleven, with all the exploring they had done that day, they were both worn out and were both asleep within minutes of lying done, cuddled up together. Kurt was woken up about five with kisses being placed all over his face, and a whispered “You moved” in his ear and their morning started the way it had the day before, and Kurt couldn’t have been happier.


	11. If There’s A Will

Once they got home, back to New York Blaine walked Kurt to his door. They both had things they needed to do to get ready for tomorrow, Kurt for work and Blaine for school. Blaine kisses Kurt goodbye before heading upstairs, grabbing his mail on the way.

The first thing he does is unpack his suitcase from the weekend and starts a load of clothes. While the washer is running he heads into the living room to look through the books he would need for his classes he will be starting tomorrow, and then looked over his schedule. He had orientation in the morning at 7:30 so it would be an early start for him.

He was thinking about going out and buying a new bag to carry his books and other supplies he will need for his classes in, and then he remembers. Standing up he went into the spare room that had always just been used as an office, he opened up the closet and pulled down a few boxes that had a lot of his old school things. 

Digging through one of the boxes he pulled out his old messenger bag from his Dalton Days, it would be perfect to use for his books again. It had always been his favorite, but he had stopped using it after the break up, because it, like a lot of other things, held a lot of memories for him. 

He had lost track of all the times he had opened up that bag and found little love notes from Kurt while he was still at Dalton, he put the boxes back up in the closet before heading to the living room.

He carried the bag over to the couch, sitting down before he opened it, not really sure what he would find. He had never opened it again after the day he had walked out of McKinley, never even bothering to clean it out. He remembers when he cleaned out his locker; he had just quickly shoved his stuff into it, closed the flap and walked away. He had taken it home and placed it in a box and put it on the top shelf of his closet.

Opening the flap, he starts pulling out papers, old school work, and the spare tube of hair gel that he had always kept in the top shelf of his locker, his old McKinley gym shirt, pens, pencils, and an envelope. Not remembering what was in it; he opens it up and just stares, there in that envelope, was every note that Kurt had ever slipped him, the ones he found in this bag, on his pillow when they were still at Dalton, notes that had been left on his car under his windshield wipers, or just put into his jacket pockets.

He had forgotten just how many notes he had been left. He remembers that he had put them in the envelope, because they had always been so precious to him, he wanted to always have them with him, but he hadn’t wanted to take a chance on them getting damaged in his bag. He was oh so glad now he had done that, because he knows, if he had seen them the day he put that envelope in this bag, the day he had walked out of McKinley, they would have followed all the pictures from his locker into the trash can. They would have been lost to him forever. He reads every one of them, and just like back then they make him smile.

Standing back up he walks to the office and pulls the box back down from the shelf, and places the envelope on the top, still wanting to make sure it stayed safe. With a smile he walks back into the living room and looks through the papers he had pulled out, seeing nothing important, he puts everything in the can for recycling, and then puts the pens and pencils in his office, well the ones that still work. 

The old tube of hair gel goes straight into the trash can. Still not believing how long he had used it. Remembering how it always weighed his hair down, yes he had liked the raspberry smell but that was the only thing about it he had liked.

He picked up his old gym shirt, saw that it still looked new because he hadn’t been at McKinley long enough to wear it out. He carried it into his bedroom and put it with his dirty clothes that he was going to wash next, figuring it would be a good shirt to wear when he was just hanging out at home.

Back in the living room he grabs all the books he will need for his classes tomorrow and puts them in the bag along with his schedule,some pins, pencils, paper and he is ready for tomorrow. He can’t help but smile; he had always enjoyed school and really can’t wait to go back. 

Thinking about school, and the notes he had found from Kurt, makes him think about him, not that he wasn’t always on his mind, but it makes him realize that he hadn’t talked to him in almost two hours. He didn’t like that. After spending the last two days with him, he was used to him being there now. He quickly picks up his phone and calls him. He gets his voice mail, ugg he hates voicemail. “Hey, when you get this call me back, I love you”

He went and started another load of laundry, throwing in the old t-shirt he had found, and then he heard his phone ring. He ran over to pick it up and saw it was Kurt and his face split into a grin. “Hey baby, watcha doing”

“Hey sorry, I was talking to dad. I thought it was time I told him we were back together” Kurt said sounding a little upset.

“Oh, was he not happy” Blaine said worried, he knew how much Burt’s opinion had always meant to Kurt.

“Not at first, he didn’t know what caused our break up, I never told him. I think he just thought you got tired of me. He knows the truth now and wants us to come home.”

“Well if you want to, we can always go this weekend to see him. I can stop by and see Luke too, I have a question for him” He had finally decided that he wanted to use Luke as his Lawyer to handle his financial matters and also to draw up a will. Losing Uncle Don the way that he had reminded him of how important that can be.

When he and Kurt had gotten back together he had decided to have him be listed as his beneficiary with certain conditions of course. He wanted his estate to go to him if something happens to him, but only if they are married.

If any children were involved he wanted half of his estate to be divided equally between any children him and Kurt may have with the remaining half to go to Kurt. If they got married and divorced and children were involved the full inheritance would be split with any children they may have. If no children were involved, and they were divorced his estate would be divided between Addi and Ari equally.

“I would like that, I have never met Luke, and he really helped me out after Uncle Don passed away” he said and then caught himself not knowing if Blaine knew he called Don, Uncle Don or not. “I mean your Uncle Don.”

“Kurt, did you call him Uncle Don?” Blaine asked wondering why he had rephrased what he said like that.

Kurt got quiet for a moment, “Yea”, he said just above a whisper. “He became very special to me, a friend, and an Uncle. He asked me to call him that. He kept saying if you and I ever got married I would be his nephew anyway, and I might as well get used to it. I tried to tell him that would never happen; you and I were broken up. He would just always laugh and say never say never, with this sly look on his face. Any time I went home I would stop by and talk to him, sometimes even spend the night.” Kurt said softly

Blaine could hear it in Kurt’s voice that he was breaking down, but trying not to let him know.

“Kurt baby, why don’t you come here, grab some clothes and spend the night with me. I miss you like crazy anyway, which is why I was calling you to begin with. We can sit around and just vegetate, and then if you want I can take us out to dinner”

“Blaine, you don’t have to do that, I will be ok. You have things you need to do”

“There is nothing I need to do that I can’t do with you here, but there are several things I can’t do without you. I can’t hold you, kiss you, and hope like hell that you move in your sleep. I love you and I want you here, Kurt I need you here.”

“Blaine”

“Come on Kurt I am serious, I got so used to being with you all day, this is seriously driving me crazy. I would come to you, but I know you don’t really have furniture in your apartment yet, if you want I will happily come to you, we can share your blow up mattress, but if I bounce you out of bed because I sometimes get a little athletic...”

“Blaine you are a goof” Kurt laughed sounding better

“And yet, you knew this and agreed to be my boyfriend again anyway, so sounds like to me you are a little bit of a goof yourself.” Blaine chuckled

“Ok, let me get some stuff together and I will be down in about twenty minutes” Kurt finally agrees

“How bout we say ten minutes, or I come to you, your choice” Blaine said grinning, he really did need Kurt here, he had just given him a really good excuse.

“You are killing me right now, you know that right” Kurt asked laughing again

“Oh baby, killing you is the last thing I intend to do you tonight trust me” he said with a husky voice, so totally ready for Kurt now.

“Bbbbllllaaaiiinnnee” Kurt whined

“Kurt get your sexy ass up here now” he said really just wanting to see Kurt.

“Ok, I’ll be up in ten minutes” he sighed

Blaine grinned, he wanted Kurt here with him all the time, and was trying to figure out how to convince Kurt that that was a good idea. Maybe after their trip to Lima next weekend he could figure out how to convince him.

Ten minutes later, almost to the second Blaine heard a knock on his door; with a big grin on his face he opens it for Kurt. He pulls him into his arms kissing him, before whispering in his ear, “I missed you”

“Blaine, it has been two and a half hours since you saw me”

“And, your point being” Blaine said with a laugh

“You are a goof” Kurt said

“And once again……” Blaine said laughing “Come on, let's go sit down”

They spent the rest of the day cuddled up watching movies, talking about anything that popped into their heads. They decided to order dinner in instead of going out. Heading to bed around 11 and snuggling close. Blaine was so glad he was there. He hadn’t been looking forward to sleeping alone. When Blaine’s alarm goes off at 6am, he is a little disappointed that Kurt hadn’t moved once during the night, or if he had, it hadn’t woken him up so… he “moved” instead.

oOoOo

Blaine went to orientation, and loved it; he met several of his teachers and some of the other students. He blushed a little when he saw several women looking at him, one of his teachers included. It had been a long time since he had gotten that kind of reaction from women. The women that moved around in his world were very much aware that he was very much gay.

He had just sat down at a desk in his first class when he felt his phone vibrate. He quickly pulls out of his pocket, looking at he just smiled; Kurt had sent him a text that made his day. He quickly responds back and then just stares at his phone, still smiling. He had so missed this, all the times Kurt and him texted each other during classes, or at least the ones they weren’t in together.

“She must be a special girl”

Blaine looked to his left and saw a really cute guy sitting next to him. He looked at him and just smiled.

“It is actually my boyfriend” Blaine said, not really showing any interest in the guy beside him, because yes he was cute, but he couldn’t hold a candle to the man he had left in his bed this morning. That thought and remembering what they had done this morning, had him smiling bigger and having “things” happen. Thankfully he wouldn’t be expected to stand up any time soon.

“Judging by that smile he must be amazing” he said with a sexy smile, that if Blaine wasn’t crazy about Kurt would have made him take notice.

“Hi, my name is Zach by the way” he said holding out his hand

“Blaine” he said with a smile as he shock Zach’s hand

“Have you known each other long” Zach asked

“Seven years, we met in high school” Blaine proudly responds

“Wow, you guys have been together seven years” Zach says sounding impressed

Blaine just laughs “Not exactly, we were together for two years and broke up; we have only been back in contact for two weeks”

“Wow, he must be amazing if you are separated for five years, only just reconnected two weeks ago and he is already your boyfriend.

“You have no idea” Blaine says with a laugh

What he doesn’t notice is the Zach spends the rest of the class staring at him off and on. He figures if they were broken up that long there is still a chance. Blaine to him was just too cute to pass on. He would just see what he could do. He never gave up that easy when there was a cute guy on the line and to him Blaine was one of the cutest he had seen in a long time...

They ended up having four of Blaine’s five classes together, they spent a lot of time talking, getting to know each other, and he knew that if it wasn’t for Kurt, Zach was someone he could definitely see himself with.

They went to a local coffee shop, and grab a cup of coffee during their lunch break. They were just talking about their last class when he felt a hand on his shoulder

“You Blainer’s have got some splain’n to do, because unless he has changed that much since high school that ain’t Kurt.

Blaine looked up straight into the eyes of Santana. He stood up laughing, reaching out to hug her.

“I haven’t seen you in forever.” Blaine said

“I know, we have been busy at work, how was the weekend” she asks sitting down beside Blaine when he sat back down. Blaine notices that she keeps looking at Zach.

“It went really well, we spent a lot of time talking, we got a lot straightened out, I think we are going to be ok, he called Burt yesterday and told him about us and we are going to Lima this weekend” Blaine said continuing.

“Ouch papa bear, good luck with that” She laughs.

“Zach, I would like you to meet my best friend Santana, Santana this is Zach he is in a lot of my classes.” Blaine said as he introduces them, she leans in and shakes hands with Zach.

“So, you guys are from Lima”? Zach asked

“Me and his ex are, but he is from Westerville, crap, I mean me and his boyfriend are, sorry that is going to take me awhile to wrap my head around the fact that you guys worked it out and are back together, after all this time,” she said with a smile

“It’s ok San, I understand, I still haven’t told Cooper and my parents yet” Blaine said looking at her

“Ouch, I have no intention of being there for that one jell-o shot, you are on your own” she said before leaning in and giving him a kiss on his cheek. “I do need to go back to work. Give Kurt a hug for me, and you guys need to come over and see me and Brit. I haven’t talked to him since senior year, and Brit still asks about him”. She said standing up.

“I’ll check with him and get back to you, love you San” Blaine said hugging her again and then watched her walk out the door.

“Wow, she is a firecracker” Zach said laughing

“Oh you haven’t seen the half of it” Blaine said laughing and shaking her head

“So, she went to school with you and your ex huh” Zach asks

“Yea, I actually met her my sophomore year because of Kurt”

“Wow, and your parents aren’t going to like you being back together” he continues

Blaine stops and looks at him a minute, he likes Zach but doesn’t really know how much to say, it would be nice to have another friend though.

“No they weren’t happy with the way we broke up, they had really liked him, and they were surprised, let’s just leave it at that. Oh well, time for my next class” Blaine says standing up, all of a sudden getting a funny vibe off of Zach. He might be going and seeing Santana after school.

Santana agreed with Blaine, saying she had thought the way Zach watched Blaine was weird especially since he knew that Blaine was attached. Better to not take chances, he started to avoid situations which would lead to him and Zach being alone. After a while he figures he caught on because he quit trying.

His week at school flew. He really enjoyed it. He had also convinced Kurt to spend almost every night with him, he had stopped on his way home from school Monday and had a copy of his apartment and house key made and gave them to Kurt, that way if Blaine wasn’t home he would still be able to come in and not have to wait for Blaine to get there and let him in, he also stopped by his doctor, to have one more test run. He wanted to move on with Kurt, and not have to worry about anything again. He will be glad when it is over and he can finally say goodbye to Marc forever.

oOoOo

Blaine had called Luke and gave him information on drawing up a will and what he wanted in it. He had told him that he would come by Friday and sign it, that Kurt would be with him, and didn’t want to discuss the content with him yet, so he really didn’t want to discuss it while Kurt was present. He would read and sign it unless there was an issue and then he would talk to him about it later.

Kurt was able to leave work at eleven Friday since he really didn’t have any pressing orders, and Blaine only had one class that day, so they were able to head to Ohio early in the day. When they landed in Westerville they rented a car and Blaine drove straight to Luke’s office

“Kurt, I would like you to meet Luke, Uncle Don's lawyer, Luke this is Kurt Hummel” he smiled introducing them.

Luke gave him a soft smile. “Don always talked fondly of you, how you always made time to come and see him anytime you were in town, and the one time you came in because he asked you too, without thinking twice about it. You were very special to him”

“He was very special to me too and he is very much missed” Kurt said

“That he is” Luck said “So, can I take it the two of you are back together officially” he asked

Blaine smiled and proudly wrapped his arm around Kurt’s waist “Yes we are. He agreed to be my boyfriend again over the weekend. I took him to show him the lighthouse Uncle Don had left for me. It was like walking back into our past. All of mine and Kurt’s conversations almost come to life. It is now a very special place for both of us.” He said with a smile on his face looking at Kurt.

Luke looked at both of them “would you two mind sitting down for a minute, I have something I need to discuss with you”

Blaine and Kurt looked at each other “sure” they both said before sitting across from him.

“Ok Blaine the day we had the reading of your uncles will there was a part of it that was separate from the main one, and not read at your uncle’s request. There was a special codicil your uncle had written right after the two of you broke up. He always knew the two of you were meant to be together. In the will, if you two ever got back together I was to read it to you” He said looking at Kurt

He got up and walked over to the filing cabinet coming back with a folder. He sat down and placed the folder on the desk looking up. “He really cared about both of you, and he hurt for you, knowing how bad you were hurting, to him, the two of you were supposed to be together. He told me more than once he wished there was something he could do. He understood why it happened, but still wished it hadn’t. He came to me the week after you broke up, and added this to his will, saying that he felt the two of you would be back together, he was just hoping it would be while he was alive, but had this written into his will in case it wasn’t”

“Blaine I am going to read this to Kurt and you will be here to sign as my witness, that way it can’t be said that Kurt took advantage if that is ok” Luke said

“Of course I will happy to sign as a witness, but what is going on” Blaine asked really confused, he thought he would be signing his will not witnessing a codicil to Uncle Dons

“Ok, this is an official addition to the last will and testament of Mr. Donald Alexander Anderson, I being of sound mind and body bequeath to my nephew Kurt Elizabeth Hummel 1.5 million dollars, I don’t know how many times I told you, you would one day be my nephew but you wouldn’t listen to me. It broke my heart when the two of you broke up, because you always made Blaine a better person, and Blaine did the same for you. The two of you were meant for each other, you were meant to be together. I sat this money aside for you in the hopes that the two of you would find each other again, and this money would put you both on a more level field.”

“I have advised Luke that if you never got back together, if Blaine married someone else then the money would still pass to you, but on your 25 th birthday. A separate letter would be read to you at that time. Kurt, thank you for always being my friend, for being willing to be there when I asked, and for loving my wonder nephew, and allowing him to love you. You are in my heart now and always. Have a beautiful life my precious boy, live, laugh, love. Uncle Don”

By the time Luke had finished reading the will Kurt was in tears, “You’re kidding me right, this can’t be real.” Kurt said

He looked at Luke and then Blaine waiting for them both to start laughing, this had to be someone’s idea of a joke right, this could be real.

“Kurt, Uncle Don did the same thing for Santana, she got some money and a car”

“Blaine, I swear I never asked for anything. I didn’t know he had anything to be honest; I just loved spending time with him.” Kurt said with tears running down his face now.

“Kurt, you meant the world to Don, like I said earlier you were special to him, he had wanted you to be there when the will was read, but knew it wasn’t time yet. You had to find your way back to each other, you had to be ready. He might have given a little push, but you found your way back together on your own which is something that was very important to him.”

“Kurt, if he hadn’t wanted you to have it, you wouldn’t have gotten anything. He didn’t have to leave you anything; he could have just left you out of the will altogether. I know you; I know you would never have asked for anything even if you knew he had it. That isn’t you, who you are.” Blaine said with a soft smile on his face

“That is right Kurt, he cared a lot about you, he respected you, and talked about you to me as much as he did Cooper and Blaine.” Luke stated.

“Blaine here is the paperwork you asked me to fill out for you” he said passing it to him

“Kurt, here is the banking information on the account Don has set up for you, all taxes have already been paid”

Luke once again stood up and walked to another filing cabinet, pulling out another folder. “Kurt, this is also yours. It was never meant to be part of the will; it was always meant to be separate. It was purchased for you by Don. 

The lighthouse was Blaine’s, but in a way he saw it as yours as well. It was created based on your thoughts and dreams just as much as Blaine’s. He bought this for you; just in case the two of you didn’t get back together, he was sure you would, but just in case he wanted you to have your own space, so you could have your own piece of the dream as well” Luke said sliding the folder to Kurt to look at

Kurt opened the folder, and couldn’t say a word; in the folder was a picture of a building that according to the deed was in Kurt’s name. The name of the company that was housed in that building was Lighthouse Designs by Kurt Hummel. He had his own space; he had his own business. He was at a loss for words.

By this time Blaine was done signing his will, he had no problems with the wording. He looked over at Kurt to see what had him so engrossed, he was still just staring at the folder in his hand. He hadn’t even taken the time to look at what Blaine was signing. He quickly passed it back to Luke, before he could.

Blaine looked at Kurt saw the look on his face crying “Baby what is wrong” he questioned worriedly, reaching out to grab his hand.

“He bought me my own design studio, I can be my own boss” Kurt said in a shocked voice still not able to believe it. He slid the folder over to Blaine to look at. It was in Provincetown.

He had talked to Blaine, about how he had figured by this time in his life he would have his own place, that he was tired of working for someone else and thought it was time to move on but just didn’t really know where to go.

“Here are your keys; it is there ready when you are. He had a lot of equipment moved in about three weeks before he died, and some renovations made on the inside. He didn’t know what else you would need, but he left you this check to help get everything else you might need” he said before handing Kurt the keys and a check for $50000.00 dollars.

“I can’t take this; I can’t take any of this. This needs to go to his family not to me.” Kurt said with his face turning white, shaking his head

“Kurt, to him, you were family, he loved you as much as he did Blaine. You spent a lot of time with him. He talked to you on the phone, you wrote him letters. That meant a lot to him. YOU meant a lot to him, you were family to him.” Luke said looking at him with a serious look on his face

“Kurt did you know Uncle Don had money?” Blaine asked Kurt

“God no, you know what his house looked like, the old truck he drove, of course I didn’t” Kurt said looking at Blaine wondering how he could even ask him something like that. He didn’t spend time with Don to get something in return. How could he even think that?

“Exactly, you didn’t know, just like the rest of us you were shocked as much as we were. I will tell you the same thing I told Santana when she said no to her part of the will. If you had asked he wouldn’t have left you anything. He loved and respected you, he left this for you.” Blaine said looking at him

“I can’t Blaine, I just can’t” Kurt whispered looking at him in the eyes, with tears running down his face.

“Yes you can baby, yes you can” Blaine said softly reaching his hands to hold Kurt on either side of his face and giving him a gentle kiss, and then pulled him into a hug.

Luke gave them a few minutes and the handed Kurt another piece of paper “Here is the information on where your funds have been deposited, stop by there and you can either have that check deposited or cashed. There are some forms the bank will need you to sign if you opt to leave the money there, or they will help you transfer it to another bank of your choice.”

“Thank you Kurt, from me as well. Luke wasn’t just my client he was also my friend. We had known each other for years. Thank you for being there for my friend.” Luke said as Kurt and Blaine headed towards the door.

oOoOo

They drove to the bank, filled out the paperwork for Kurt’s account and deposited his check into it, he had decided like Blaine and the rest of the family to leave the account where Don had set it up. He would be sent checks and a debit card so he wouldn’t need to come to Westerville just to have access to his money. He did go ahead and transfer $10000.00 into his account in New York in case he needed something before his checks or card came in.

Once they were done at the bank they were heading to Lima to see Burt, Blaine was getting nervous he hadn’t seen Burt since the weekend before he broke up with Kurt, he had always liked Burt, they had spent a lot of time talking, and not just about Kurt.

When they pulled up outside the Hummel house he saw the front door open and Burt and Carol walked out. Blaine stood back and let them hug Kurt, before they turned to him, he saw a very serious look on Burt’s face, and instantly felt like this was going to be bad, until Burt walked up to him, wrapped him in a Burt Hummel bear hug. “You have been missed” he said before the all walked in the house.

They spent Friday night and part of Saturday with the Hummel’s deciding to spend some time back in Provincetown so they could check out Kurt’s place, and some decisions could be made about it.


	12. The Hits Keep Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am sorry, I promise it won’t be for long…

oOoOo

Kurt loves his space; he can’t believe everything that Don had put into it. There were drafting tables, sewing machines, serger, professional steamer, iron and board, dress forms, pins, needles, scissors, measuring tape and on and on, everything he would need except the material to actually start making the clothes with, which to be honest was the one thing he would have wanted to pick out on his own.

“I could actually start right now, everything I could ever need is already right here just waiting for the material to sew. I can’t believe he did this” Kurt said looking around still not believing that this was his

It hit Blaine hard, Kurt might be moving here, leaving New York, and Blaine can’t, not yet anyway. He had at least six months of college before he could get his teaching degree, yes, he could teach here and would love to, but he needed that degree first.

It was almost high school all over again, wondering now that he had Kurt back, how would he stand to be apart from him during the week, while Kurt was here and he wasn’t. But unlike high school, he knew exactly what was at stake; he wasn’t going down without a fight. He had learned from his mistakes, he wasn’t going to let that happen again.

Blaine looked at him, reached out and took his hand “Let’s go to the house and talk”

When they got to the house, Blaine went in and started a pot of coffee when it was done they sat on the couch to drink it and to talk. Kurt just looked at Blaine; he had felt the change in him at the studio, like he was pulling away. This makes him nervous, he refused to lose Blaine, he can’t do that again, he won’t survive it. He would willingly give up everything, to keep him.

“Kurt, I think we need to talk, I don’t want us to re-do mistakes we made before when we were together. We need to work this out before it gets to that stage, so I am just going to tell you how I feel ok. I am so happy for you, you were talking before about how you thought by this time in your life, you would have your own space, your own business, and now you do”

“This is going to sound completely selfish, but what about us, me. Are you ending us, or are we going to work through this before it gets bad, so we have a plan. I can’t lose you again Kurt, I just can’t

Kurt just stares at him, here he was thinking that Blaine was going to end them, but instead he was worried that  _ he _ was. “Blaine I know we can do this, we can make this work somehow, you don’t have much school left before you will get your degree.” 

“That shop isn’t going anywhere, I can just keep working in New York during the week, and we can come here on the weekends. That way I can see if there is even a market here. I can work out a notice that way, but I will probably need to find another apartment, since that one is paid for by work, I don’t know if the will keep doing that once I turn it in.”

“You would do that, you would put off your own business for me” Blaine said looking at him once again in awe of this man.

“Blaine, I would do anything for us, I can’t lose you again, we WILL make this work, that shop has been there for months without me knowing about it, and would have stayed there longer without me knowing about it. I can wait six months, for you…. I would wait a lifetime.” He said before launching himself into Blaine’s arms and before long they were in their room, needing each other desperately, not being able to get close enough.

oOoOo

They decided that Monday Kurt would turn in his notice, tell them he would work for them for six months, and then he would be gone. They appreciated that time he offered them, but since the next person they would bring into the position was technically ready, he could just go now. It was almost like they fired him.

He was asked to vacate the apartment within a week. He had not expected that, he had always gotten along with his employers, so that was a shock. If it wasn’t for the fact that he had his own business and money in the bank to fall back on, he would have fought them, but decides it isn’t worth it, they had actually done him a favor; he could spend his time until Blaine graduated drawing his own designs so that when he opened his shop he would be ready.

He had never taken vacation time except for the few days he took off for Don’s funeral so he had a least two months worth of vacation time built up that they would be paying him for. He went to his office, and packed up what he had personal there and headed home. Most of his stuff was still packed from the move. He really hadn’t had the energy to do it before reconnecting with Blaine, and no time after because he enjoyed being with Blaine as much as possible.

He still had all the packing boxes, so while Blaine was in class that day, Kurt started to repack what little he had. The money the company had put into an account for him to furnish the apartment was mostly still in the account. They only thing he had purchased was a couch, so there was no furniture to move, just his personal possessions. The only thing he didn’t pack yet was his clothes. Tomorrow he planned on looking around for an apartment he can stay in until Blaine graduates, and then they plan on moving.

Blaine had decided he would open up his own music studio to teach from. He would be teaching violin, and piano. Those were the two most popular instruments that people wanted to learn. If however someone wanted to learn another one of the instruments he played he would have no problem expanding on that. They planned on looking around this weekend if they could find an empty shop that he could go ahead and purchase, and start getting it set up the way he wanted it.

Kurt went up to Blaine’s apartment about thirty minutes before he was due home deciding he would cook dinner and then they could talk about everything that had happened. When Blaine got home they ate and went and sat in the living room to talk.

“So they just pretty much told you goodbye, not even wanting you to work out a notice” Blaine said incredulously. They hadn’t really expected that. Blaine kind of wonders if that changes Kurt’s plans on his shop.

“Yea and they are generously giving me a week to get out of the apartment so the person taking my place will have a place to live. At least since I only bought the couch they will be able to furnish it the way they want. I spent the day packing everything up, so tomorrow I will look around for an apartment with a short lease.” Kurt said, he would really miss living close to Blaine but it will only be a few months.

“I actually know the perfect place, the rent will be really cheap, you will be really close to me, aaannnnnndddd you won’t have to sign a lease at all.” Blaine said with a grin

“If you give me the address, I can check it out tomorrow” he said totally missing the grin on Blaine’s face.

“You are here” Blaine said pulling him into his arms and onto his lap nuzzling into his neck, loving the smell that was purely Kurt.

“Blaine, you can’t be serious, we just got back together” Kurt said tilting his head a little more giving Blaine more access to his neck.

“Oh, but I am so very serious,” he said in a husky voice kissing Kurt’s neck down to the junction where the neck and shoulder meet. Biting down gently, kissing and sucking on Kurt’s most sensitive spot until he knows he left a mark and not even caring. He licked over the mark he had just made, blowing cool air on it getting hard at just the thought of marking Kurt as his, needing him badly.

He sat Kurt on the couch until he could stand up; he then picked him up and slung him over his shoulder, and carried him into the bedroom, and straight onto the bed. He quickly pulls Kurt’s pants and underwear off, not even waiting to take time to pull off his shirt. He pulled his own pants quickly off, reaching into his nightstand drawer for the lube, no longer worrying about a condom. He had gotten the results today from his lab work and he was clean.

He quickly preps Kurt, not taking the time he normally does, because neither one of them could wait that long. He lubes his shaft up quickly lines the his head of his cock with Kurt’s entrance and slowly pushes forward, taking his time, wanting to give Kurt time to adjust before pushing in fully. Sighing once he does, it had been so long since he had, had that connection bare skin on skin and it made him even harder just the feeling of it, and also it was Kurt, the way it was always supposed to be.

He had needed this all day. He slowly starts to thrust his hips until Kurt’s starts arching up, and then he starts moving faster harder, still managing to keep his abdomen on Kurt’s swollen cock so that he will feel as much pleasure as possible, before long he starts hearing that noise he loves so much, and sees those thumbs twitch, and then he feels the warmth of Kurt’s cum on his stomach, feeling that, has him thrusting even harder and faster into him, and then soon he finds his own release, while buried deep inside of Kurt feeling it down to his toes.

He leans in and kisses Kurt, before slowly pulling out. He grabs a handful of Kleenex from the box by his bed and cleans him off and then himself before throwing them in the trash can by his bed, and then pulling Kurt in his arms. Nuzzling back into his neck

“I love you so very much, I think I am going to like you living here by the way” he said before placing little kisses up and down Kurt’s neck.

“I love you too, and I can definitely see the benefits of living here” he says sighing and snuggling further into Blaine’s side.

They lay there like that for a while before slowly standing up and head to the shower, both of them removing their shirts as they go.

“Someone was in a hurry tonight” Kurt said reaching out to turn on the water for their shower

Blaine walked up behind him wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist so his ass was pulled back on Blaine’s already growing erection. “You shouldn’t have such a sexy ass then if you wanted me to go slow” he said reaching out and grasping Kurt’s cock in his hand and within seconds he is hard again.

Blaine quickly turns off the water pushes Kurt none too gently back to the bed, pushes him so he's still on his feet but laying with his stomach on the bed, ass in the air, he quickly enters him and start thrusting into him hard and heavy, hearing as his balls smack onto Kurt’s ass causing him to get even harder.

Reaching around him, he grasps Kurt’s cock tightly in his hand so that with every thrust, Kurt is pushing into Blaine’s hand, and within minutes he is coming hard all over Blaine’s hand and the bed. The feeling of his warm cum once again pushes Blaine over the edge, a few more thrusts and he is cuming too. He slowly pulls out helps Kurt stand up and then he is kissing him breathless.

“I love you SSSOOOO much” Blaine whispers kissing him again. Pulling him closer

“I love you too” Kurt says kissing him back. He could definitely see himself enjoying living with Blaine. He thinks with a sigh. He might have trouble walking but it would be oh so worth it.

“Do you think you can behave yourself enough to take a shower now” Kurt said peppering kisses all over Blaine’s face

“I make no promises, but I think he is down for the count” he says pointing down with a smile

He reaches out for Kurt’s hand and they walk back into the bathroom, and they actually manage to both shower and dress in a pair of boxers without any further issues. They quickly strip the bed and put on clean sheets before crawling in. That was the only drawback of not wearing a condom, sheets had to be changed more often, but Blaine just couldn’t bring himself to care.

oOoOo

Blaine wakes up later than normal the next morning. He has just enough time to throw on some clothes, kiss Kurt goodbye and then he is gone. Kurt sits up deciding he might as well get up and start moving some of his stuff from downstairs up here. When he stands up, he realized just how tender he was. They had really gone at it hard last night, and twice back to back on top of that, Kurt thought with a satisfied sigh. He went to the restroom, and then put on the clothes he had on yesterday since he didn’t have any clean one’s here figuring he could just change when he got to his apartment.

He had just gotten to the door when he heard a knock, with a grin he pulls it open “did you forget your keys you big goof” Kurt said before he realized it wasn’t Blaine standing in front of him. It was a really cute guy he didn’t know.

“Oh look it's Kurty” the man said with a smirk looking at Kurt like he was something he would have cleaned off the bottom of his shoe

“May I help you” Kurt said instantly not liking the man standing in front of him

“Well, the best way you can help me is by stop screwing my boyfriend for starters” he said once again looking at Kurt

“Who are you” Kurt ask already having a very bad feeling about this

“Well… I am Marc, and I am Blaine’s boyfriend. I can’t believe he managed to get you to fall for it” he said laughing

“Fall for what” Kurt said barely above a whisper

“Payback's a bitch ain’t it” he said continuing to laugh

“What are you talking about” Kurt asked him just staring at him

“Well Kurty, when you cheated on Blaine you really hurt him badly, he was hurt first and then he got really mad. He finally convinced me to let him trick you into believing he wanted you back, God, I can’t believe you fell for it. You are more stupid than I thought you were. He figured that would be the best way to pay you back”

“Why would I believe you when I have known Blaine for seven years, and I don’t know you from Adam” he says feeling better all of a sudden. Because he knows in his heart Blaine wouldn’t do something like what he was saying.

“Oh, I have proof if you would like to see it” he said walking toward Blaine’s bedroom, opening up the top draw and digging under the socks to pull out two pieces of paper. He walked back over to Kurt and handed them to him.

“If we weren’t a couple why would we have std tests done together? We do it at least once a year, as you can see by the date these were done just a little over a month ago.” He said with a sarcastic smile on his face, before getting right into Kurt’s face. “Why would he settle for you when he could have this” Marc said waving his hand towards his body, bringing every doubt he had ever had about himself to the forefront. He and Blaine had never really fit. He knew it.

“Can you leave now I will tell Blaine to call you?”

He wanted to smack the smirk off of his face when Marc looked at him “You don’t have to tell him to call me Kurty, trust me, he will call me on his own. Enjoy your life, I know I will mine” he said with a smile as he walked out the door.

Kurt managed to get the door shut and locked before he completely fell apart, leaning back on the door, sliding down to the floor, drawing his knees to his chest hugging them he starts crying rocking back and forth. How could Blaine have done this? He knows he hurt him, he knows he did, but to be that cruel, he never would have believed him to be purposely cruel.

Kurt doesn’t know how long he sits there, but when he is cried out, he goes down to his apartment to grab a piece of paper and a pin. He quickly writes a letter, grabs one other thing out of a box in his bedroom. He then goes back up to Blaine’s apartment, sets the letter on the coffee table in the living room, along with the keys Blaine had made for him. He walks back over to the door opens it and making sure he locks it he shuts the door and walks away.

oOoOo

When he gets home, Blaine unlocks his door and walks in "Kurt, are you here" he gets no response, and it is then that he hears the music that was playing. He follows the sound into his living room, and there on the coffee table is Kurt’s old phone, the one he had kept from high school so he could pull it out and reread the text where Blaine had told him he loved him.

What hit him though was the song playing on it. "What kind of fool" and Blaine knew in that instant that something was wrong very, very wrong. He sees the letter under the phone picking it up and dreading what it was going to say.

_ "Blaine, _

_ I knew you were mad at me, and hurt by what I had done, but I have told you I was sorry more times that I can count over the hundreds of years we have been apart. I never thought you could be so cruel, and vindictive and mean. Why couldn't you have just left me alone in my misery? I was already hurting every second of every day. Why couldn't you have just told me about your boyfriend, why did you make it sound like you weren't together. For the two of you to work together to hurt me is something I never would have thought you would do. You win; your vengeance is now complete. I really hope you are happy. _

_ Kurt. _

Beside the letter, were the papers from where he and Marc had been tested right before he made him move out. Blaine just stared at them and the letter not understanding.

He picked up his phone and tried calling Kurt, he got voice mail, he took the elevator and went to Kurt’s apartment, the door was partially open, and the apartment was empty except for the couch, which would stay with the apartment. Kurt was gone, and he had no idea where or why.

He walked back to his apartment sat on his couch with his face in his hands trying to figure out what was going on. They had been fine this morning. Then he wondered why the papers were out, Kurt wasn’t someone who snooped, and he knows for a fact that he had put those papers in the top drawer of his dresser. Then he thinks about the text he got from Marc, where he had told him he was seeing someone. And that is when he figures out what happened. He quickly calls Santana, tells her he needs her now, disconnects the call and completely falls apart.

Santana walked in, went straight to him and pulled him in her arms. “Blaine, what happened, what is going on” his call had scared her, Blaine doesn’t talk like that”

Never raising his head from where he had laid it on her shoulder he points to the letter that Kurt had left him. Reading it she gets pissed “That dickless asshole. You know he did something right”

“It doesn’t matter San, because either way Kurt is gone. He didn’t even give me time to explain, or even say anything. He just took someone’s word, someone he didn’t even know above everything he knows about me, he didn’t even give me a chance. I guess I deserve that after what I did too him huh.”

“No, Blaine you don’t. You don’t deserve any of this. Let me see what I can come up with, let me see what I can do” she said almost in tears. Hating that Blaine was hurting and knowing that Kurt was too, and this time due to no fault of their own.

Blaine went into the restroom to change out of his clothes he wore to school, just wanting something comfortable. While he is out of the room Santana picks up his phone, and quickly unlocks it. Knowing the password, since he had always used the same one since he met Kurt, it was Kurt’s date of Birth. He had loved him for so long, he deserved to finally be happy and she was bound and determined to make that happen, and she was also bound and determined to make sure Marc paid, one way or the other. He can’t screw with her friends like this and get away with it. You just can’t. She quickly finds both Marc and Kurt’s numbers. Game on…


	13. Lost But Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Catcat85 and TheresaG for always reviewing my little fic. It is very much appreciated.

oOoOo

When Santana is determined to do something, she gets it done. It takes her all of 45 minutes to track down the dickless wonder, find out exactly what he said, and then only a day to set in motion a plan that would ruin his life.

Marc worked for a fashion magazine, she went to said magazine to talk to the editor crying, letting them know that if Marc worked there she would no longer do any modeling for them at all. Stating that he made her feel uncomfortable the way he looked at her, since she was one of the top models in New York now, they listened to her, they didn’t want a sexual harassment law suit on their hands so he was let go, he tried to go to other agencies, only to find out no would hire him he had been blackballed.

She then found out where he was living now, and may or may not have complained that he had some weird smells coming from his apartment, and was it her fault that they found a ton of dirty dishes in the sink and roaches all over the place. He was evicted. He tried to check into a hotel till he could find somewhere else to live and his credit card was declined. When he called to find out why he was advised that he was being investigated for credit card fraud.

Then someone called his cell phone carrier said that he had been harassing them through text, he soon found that his phone had been disconnected, and then he was arrested for soliciting prostitution. You don’t fuck with someone from Lima Heights Adjacent, or someone she loves.

Kurt was a little more fun, he no longer worked for the fashion house anymore, he refused to answer his phone, so she called Burt. Kurt was there, he didn’t know what happened but Kurt had been in his bedroom crying since the day before, and he didn’t like it. He told her that he would make sure he stayed there until she could get to Lima. She didn’t know what Kurt might have said to Burt, but Blaine’s ass was going with her.

Blaine had gone to school that morning, but didn’t remember a single thing that any of his professors had said. The only thing he could do was stare at his phone and hope like hell Kurt would respond to one of his million texts he had sent him.

By the end of the day, he had a headache and was pissed. Blaine hadn’t given Kurt any reason to doubt him, like Kurt had when Blaine had broken up with him; he never saw text from Marc in his phone, never asked to look in his phone, because he would have been happy to show it to him.

So, he decides right then, that was it. They should have left it alone. Not even tried to work “them” out, too much time had passed, and once again, Kurt couldn’t get it in his head to talk, to try to work through things. Blaine had had enough.

When he got home he wasn’t surprised to see Santana there, he would have been more surprised that she wasn’t. “I found him” she said looking at him.

He looked at her, shrugged his shoulders and walked into his bedroom to take off his shoes, he really couldn’t make himself care. He was tired. He was tired of trying to make something work that should have ended in high school. Kurt didn’t want him so why should he want Kurt.

“Blaine, did you hear me, I found Kurt.” She said just looking at him.

“What am I supposed to do San, he left me, and judging by the letter he left, he broke up with me” he said looking at her with the saddest eyes she had ever seen, the only ones that could have topped them was the day he had transferred back to Dalton.

“Blaine, I talked to Marc, I know what he said to Kurt. That is why those papers were out, he used them as proof that you guys were together.”

“That shouldn’t have mattered. He could have stayed and talked to me, given me a chance but he didn’t. It wasn’t like he walked in and caught me kissing someone. I can’t keep doing this San, I really can’t, this hurts to bad” he said with a tear sliding down his face

“Blaine he used his looks against him” she said with a sad smile she was starting to wonder if she WAS going to be able to fix this, when the two key players didn’t seem to care enough to try.

“What do you mean, Kurt is gorgeous. How could he have used that against him.” He said just looking at her.

“You remember how he was around Sebastian, he had been put down so many times in the past that in the back of his mind he believed it. Sebastian used to play on his doubts. He never really felt like he was good enough for you. Remember I was there, I saw what he was like. He used to say things like “yea until he figures it out, or he really sees me” he was always waiting for you to see him, like everyone else did” she said looking at him

“You know what’s funny, I never felt like I was good enough for him. I mean not only does he have this beautiful mind, this wonderful sense of humor, he is gorgeous. I always waited for him to wake up and realize I was nothing special, to be honest” he said with a soft smile

Because it was true, he had never felt good enough for someone like Kurt, in the back of his mind he always had expected for Kurt to choose someone else over him, that is why when he saw Kurt kissing Chandler, even though it hurt, and was not unexpected, to him it wasn’t. He loved him so much, now more than ever, but can he really put his heart on the line again for someone that will walk out again at the first sign of problems. Every relationship had their ups and downs, can he really trust Kurt to stay.

“Blaine, I am going to ask you a question I already know the answer too, but I want you to answer me, do you love Kurt, I mean really love him, can you see yourself living with him and also without him. I have seen you happier since you reconnected than I have since you both broke apart.”

Blaine just looks at her “You know I love him, and I can’t see myself without him, I really can’t, but I also don’t know if I can keep this up, if I can keep doing this, I really don’t. When is it time to just realize it is over and just leave. This is tearing me up inside”

“Isn’t he worth fighting for” she kept on

“I don’t know San, at this point I really don’t know if any of it is” he says before walking back to his bedroom and crawling into bed, pulling the pillow Kurt always slept on into his arms and burying his face in it, trying to hang on, just waiting for it to get better, somehow stop hurting. He was just ready for it to stop hurting. He laid there holding that pillow letting the tears slide down his face and he drifted off to sleep. Only waking up when his alarm went off letting him know it was time to get ready for school and then the memories of yesterday came flooding back in and he could do nothing but curl up and cry again.

“Blaine, you have to stop this, I know you are hurting, I know you are, but I don’t think it is going to get better until you face him and make him talk to you.” she said softly rubbing his back wishing she could fix it with just her words.

He just shakes his head before standing up grabbing a pair of boxers out of his drawer and walking into the bathroom stripping and getting into the shower. He stays there until the water starts turning cold before drying off and slipping on his boxer and walking into his bedroom and grabbing some clothes out of the closet.

“What are you going to do Blaine, talk to me” she said just watching him. Wondering if she should call Cooper, maybe talking to him will help him

“I need to go to class,” he said with absolutely no emotion at all

“To hell with this, you are coming with me Blaine, we are going to go and talk to him, I don’t care if I have to drag you there by your hair. We are going, put your shoes on I will wait for you by the door.” She said walking into the living room. She was tired of playing they were going to Lima today, they were going to talk today.

He complained, but she finally got Blaine into his car, and then to the airport. She went and bought them both a ticket and then waited thirty minutes for their plane to be called. Once in the air, it seemed to hit Blaine were they were going what he was doing

“What if he won’t talk to me” he says turning his head to look at her, for the first time looking a little scared and she noticed.

“We will stay there until he does. Hopefully he won’t be as stubborn as you are” she said with a smile

They land in Westerville and rent a car at the airport and then are on their way to Lima, Blaine runs things through his head all the way there, just trying to figure out what he was going to say, because right now he really didn’t know.

Burt answers the door on the first knock, looking a little worried “He still won’t come out of his room, are you guys ok” he asked looking at Blaine, who could only shrug his shoulders, because he really didn’t know.

Without saying anything to Burt or Santana he turns and starts going up the stairs and walks in front of Kurt’s door, he takes a deep breath, knocked once and then opening the door, he walked in. What he saw broke his heart. Kurt was just sitting on the side of his bed, his hair didn’t look like it had been combed and his eyes were red and swollen. Blaine walked over to the bed and sat down beside him.

“What do you want Blaine” he whispered with his voice breaking on Blaine’s name

“I want to know why” was all Blaine could say, he was barely holding it together

“Why” Kurt questioned

“Yes, why; Why would you listen to someone, someone you didn’t even know, make a decision about US and not even talk to me, not even give me a chance to explain my part.

“What is there to explain, how can you explain your boyfriend showing up like that” Kurt asked barley above a whisper

“I can’t because I only have one boyfriend, or should I say only had one boyfriend and he is sitting beside me. The person you met was my ex Marc, the one I told you I broke up with right before I reconnected with you. The ex who is still so bitter, he would do whatever he can to hurt me, even if that means hurting you.”

“Maybe I should have talked about him to you more, but things happened with him that I just wasn’t ready to talk about, but I am going to try"

“Kurt, the day we broke up, the day I lost you, I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend too. I went straight to Santana's house, she raided her dad liquor cabinet and let me get drunk off my ass, cry until there were no more tears left to cry, she stayed awake all night watching me to make sure I was okay and then the next morning she was there to pick me up, dust me off and make sure I got to school.”

“She became my rock, I cried on her shoulder more times that I care to admit. She never replaced you, but she became the next best thing. She was there and cared. She stood by me forced me to get up and make something of myself when I had almost given up.”

“Marc was jealous of that relationship, he thought Santana was trying to take me away from him, even though the only thing she had ever said about him that was bad was that she didn’t like the way he talked to me or treated me sometimes, I knew she didn’t like him, but put up with him for me”

“When she and Brit got back together, I invited them over for dinner so Marc could meet another one of my friends. Marc went off, we got in the worst fight we had ever had.”

“I took off driving, I had to get away, clear my head. When I went back home, I slept in the spare room because I just couldn't sleep with him, I was still so mad at the things he had said. Later that night I woke up to find him riding me, he did it while I was asleep. When I woke up and realized what he was doing I pushed him off of me and that is when I noticed he hadn't had the decency to put a condom on me first. I had worn one with every person I had ever been, everyone but you. I felt so violated, and started hating him a little.”

“After that I made us both get tested, I stayed with him for a week until I got those results and then I packed his shit and made him leave. That is why I have those test papers. I knew that since my exposure hadn't been that long ago, I might not show anything for a while, I needed him tested.”

“Once I got those results it was over. He saw me put them in my drawer before he left. That is the only reason he knew where they were. I wasn’t seeing anyone but you, didn't want to be with anyone but you, I gave you a key to my apartment, a key to my house and a key to my world, when would I have cheated on you Kurt, WHY would I have cheated on you, and with everything we had been through, how could you even think I would.”

“Once again I wished you had just talked to me Kurt, given me a chance, asked me the questions before you just assumed the answers” Blaine said before standing up and walking toward Kurt’s door, opening it walking through and then closing it behind him. He quietly walked down the stairs out the front door to the car, trying to get in and sitting down before he fell completely apart.

“Well” Santana asks looking at him

“Take Me Home Tana, please just take me home” he said breaking down.

She knew it was bad, he doesn’t call her Tana, he calls her San, it had always been San, except one time, and that had been bad, very, very bad.

She was heartbroken for him, wishing she could make this better, and knowing that there was nothing she could do, this couldn’t be fixed, and once again wishing Marc was in front of her so she could do to him what he had just done to Blaine. Hurt him more than he had ever hurt before. Ripping his heart out through his throat, since she couldn’t, she just took care of Blaine.

She drove back to the airport, they dropped off the car and got on a plane. Once they got to New York, and got his car, they headed home, stopping at a liquor store on the way. She ran in and grabbed Blaine’s favorite bottle, not that he was a big drinker, he had learned his lesson in high school with Rachel. But whenever something like this happened when he just wants to forget, needs to forget, if only for a little while, he drinks.

She took him to her apartment, sat him on the couch with the bottle and a glass, went to change clothes, and then just sat back to watch. She would keep her eye on him for the rest of the night, making sure he was safe.

“It hurts Tana, it hurts so bad.” he said right before passing out, tears still running down his face, and glass still in his hand.

She walked over to him, took the glass gently out of his hand and set it on the coffee table, she put the lid back on the bottle, and then placed the throw she always kept on the back of her couch for when her and Brit cuddled, over him before sitting back watching him, once again making sure he made it safely through the night.

She spent the rest of the night thinking of things she could do to Marc, because what she had done so far was nothing compared to what he deserved. He had decided to hurt one of the people she loves most in the world, all bets were off, he was going to pay if it was the last thing she did.

Just before she knew his alarm clock was going to go off, she stood up, stretched, and the went to the kitchen to grab him a glass of orange juice, and started a pot of coffee. She carried the orange juice in when she heard his alarm, and then went back to the kitchen and poured them both a cup of coffee, and went and sat down sipping it.

“Thanks San, thanks for everything” he said drinking his orange juice, before sipping on his coffee.

“When you are ready, I’ll drive you home so you can take a shower and get ready for school,” she said with a smile, even though at that moment she just wanted to cry, looking at how sad her friend looked. He was destroyed once again, and once again there was nothing she could do except sit back and watch. Be there when and if he needed her.

Blaine immersed himself in school wishing he could go back. Back to when life was normal, back to before him and Marc broke up not that he wanted him back, just that life had been easier then, things hadn’t always been bad. Back to when he was still in the symphony, back to before Uncle Don died, back to when everything didn't hurt, back to when he could breathe. Just back.

He went to school, came home, studied crawled into bed and then repeated that the next day, and the next day, and the next. He didn’t go anywhere but school, didn’t do anything but study, by Friday he was over it. He got up, took a shower and got dressed. He walked to the park and just thought about his life. He had done this before, he had gotten over him before, he could do it again.

He went to class that day with a new outlook, he was ready to take his life back. The first thing he did when he walked in his first class of the day, was look for Zach, finding him he went and sat by him. He had liked him from the beginning, but got a feeling that he might end up wanting something that Blaine couldn’t give, because at the time he was in a relationship with Kurt, so he backed off. Since that was no longer an issue he asked him out on a date for tonight and could only smile when he said yes.

He picked Zach up at 7pm and they went and had dinner, they talked and laughed their way through it. Blaine really enjoyed it. After dinner they went to see a cheesy movie that looked better in the previews than the movie actually was. Not ready to take him home yet, Blaine suggested going for a walk in the park, giving them more time to get to know each other.

They ended up walking around for an hour talking before Zach stopped walking and turned so he was in front of him, pulling him in for a kiss. Blaine felt nothing, no spark, no feeling no nothing. Apparently Zach did, because before long he was deepening the kiss, slipping in his tongue, reaching his hand up to cup Blaine’s cheek, pulling him closer, close enough that he could feel Zach’s erection on his thigh, and once again Blaine felt nothing.

When the kiss ended they started walking back to Blaine’s car, Zach reached out and grabbed Blaine’s hand and held it all the way out of the park. When they got back to Zach’s apartment Blaine walked him to his door, sharing a good night kiss.

“Can I take you out tomorrow, maybe go to dinner and see another movie. I really had a good time” Zach asked

Blaine looked at him for a minute before smiling “yea, I would like that, how bout since you don’t have a car, I pick you up”

“That would be good, how about 6?” he questioned

“See you then” he said before kissing him on the cheek and heading back to his car. True he didn’t feel any sparks, but it had been the same when he had first started dating Marc, it had taken him a while to really feel anything. So he was willing to try with Zach.

He went home took a shower, dried off and put on a pair of boxers before crawling into bed and was actually able to sleep that night. A step in the right direction.

He met Santana for breakfast the next morning, which had been their habit off and on, whenever they weren’t busy. He told her about his date last night and how he was going on one tonight.

“Don’t look at me like that San. I know what you are thinking. Yes it is way too soon, but I just got tired of wallowing in my apartment doing nothing. I just had to get out and spend some time with someone else” he said looking at her

“Just be careful Blaine, I don’t want you to jump in and get hurt again” she said looking worried

“Don’t worry San, I promise I am being careful” he said reaching across the table to hold her hand, thankful once again that he had her in his life. If nothing good had come out of McKinley between him and Kurt, his relationship with Santana had.

oOoOo

Blaine and Zach ended up going out on several dates over the next few weeks, and with every kiss Blaine expects to feel something but just doesn’t. After their sixth date, Zach asks him up to his apartment for coffee, they drink it slowly talking, and joking.

After they both finish their coffee and set there cup on the table, Zach pulls Blaine into a hug and starts kissing him, slipping his tongue in softly, and before Blaine knows what is happening Zach is gently pushing him into the corner of the couch, turning him slightly so he could straddle him comfortably.

Zach deepens the kiss, and before long is kissing over Blaine’s ear breathing heavy, and then he feels Zach’s erection rub against him, and hears Zach whisper, “I want you so bad right now”

Blaine reaches out and grabs the back of Zach’s head, pulling him closer so he could deepen their kiss, hoping that with what Zach was doing he would feel it too, but no matter how much he thrust his hips into Blaine, Blaine feels nothing still, he never even gets hard.

When Zach orgasmed, he leaned forward snuggling into Blaine’s neck. Blaine had his arms wrapped around him. But he knew this would be the last night they would go out, this wasn’t right, maybe he just wasn’t ready.

Zach stayed where he was catching his breath before leaning back and looking at Blaine, he looked a little sad.

“You didn’t feel anything did you” he asked

“No, I’m sorry, I really am, but no I didn’t, I guess I am just not ready” he had told Zach about the breakup, so he knew what Blaine met

“I guess we aren’t going to be going out anymore are we” he said sliding off Blaine’s lap

“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea, I am so sorry, I was really hoping this would work,” he said, because he really had hoped it would. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before standing up and walking to the door.

When he got home he took a shower because all of a sudden he felt dirty. He hadn’t done anything but he had allowed tonight to go too far, hoping that he would feel again. He got dressed in a comfortable pair of lounge pants, and his McKinley t-shirt, not sure why but it somehow made him feel a little closer to Kurt.

He walked into the living room, grabbed a bottle out of the liquor cabinet before sitting down, and drinking it straight from the bottle, hoping to just forget again if only for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 11 Catcat85 asked me if that was the end of Zach or would he continue to pursue Blaine, I said no he wouldn't pursue Blaine, Blaine actually pursued him.


	14. Again and Again

Somehow Blaine made it through another week, he went to school, came home to study, and then he would drink until he passed out, wake up and start it all over again. He had been so hopeful that him and Zach could make some kind of a connection, but that didn’t work, and now Zach was avoiding him.

Santana wasn’t home she was in Paris for fashion week, so he couldn’t talk to her, her career has really taken off and he was so very proud of her. He thought about going to his lighthouse, but knew that there would be to many ghosts, he didn’t know to be honest if he would ever be able to go there again, because he knew Kurt would be there everywhere.

How had things gone so bad so quickly. Once again, for a little while his life had been perfect, he had felt loved, and just like the last time, it had all fallen apart.

After his last class on Friday, he decided he is going to go to California, he needed to be with his family, people who cared about him, people he loved. Hating that they all lived so very far away. If it wasn’t for Santana, he would probably move there, now that he had nothing tying him to New York anymore, other than her. He packs an overnight bag and heads to the airport.

He gets a rental car when he lands at LAX, and drives to his parent’s house, just needing to see his mom. Normally he would go to Coopers so he could see the girls, but he just wanted someone he could talk to, someone he knew wouldn’t judge him. When she opens the door, she takes one look at him, pulls him into a hug and he falls apart.

She held him for a while, letting him cry before guiding him to the living room, sitting down on the couch with him, and just like he did when he was a little boy, he laid his head in her lap, and just cried it all out.

She knew Blaine and what he needed when he was like this, he needed to be allowed to cry, and then once his tears were gone he would be able to talk. So she patiently waits, rubbing his head gently until he is ready. He had always worn his heart on his sleeve, and had gotten his heart broken one too many times. He had always tried to act tough around everyone else, but he knew with his mom, he didn’t have act, he could just be him.

She had always hated it when he cried like this, when things were so bad, only tears would help, because she knew her sweet boy was hurting and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

“He left me again Mom” she heard him whisper

“Who left you again sweetie” she asked looking down at him.

“Kurt” he said sitting up to look at her.

“I didn’t know you and Kurt were talking to each other again” she said looking concerned because the last time Kurt had been involved with Blaine it had almost destroyed him and she couldn’t stand to see that again, to see the rejection on his face. He had never really told them what happened, just that they had broken up and he was transferring back to Dalton.

“After Uncle Don died and me and Marc were having problems, me and Santana went to check out the house he left me. Mom, it was just like the one me and Kurt used to talk about when were both still at Dalton, the one we would get together when we decided to retire.”

“We talked about how it would look, were it would be. When I walked in it was like walking into one of our dreams. What we had talked about wanting the house to be was what I got. Apparently Him and Uncle Don had gotten close over the years, I had introduced them when me and Kurt were still together. They had long conversations about what we had wanted our light house to be.”

“When Kurt graduated from high school instead of going to NYADA like he had always talked about, he ended up going to school in London and took up fashion design. Whenever he was in town he would go by and talk to him, a couple of times Uncle Don had called him and asked him to come and see him and he did. He would fly from London just to see him”

“Kurt talked to him about our conversations. What we had always said we wanted, that is what he left me. Uncle Don loved Kurt, he thought of him as a nephew. I didn’t know how close they had gotten until I read a letter he left for me at the house.”

“When me and Santana got there she found a letter on the coffee table and I could tell it was Uncle Don’s writing. In the letter he talked about all these letters Kurt had written me through the years. Letters he had been writing since the day we had broken up. He would send them to Uncle Don, and had asked him not to tell me.”

“He wanted to have a way to communicate with me even if it was through letters he knew he would never get an answer for. He told Uncle Don it made him feel like there was still this connection between us, like he could still talk to me. He said it helped him be able to get through it.”

“In the letter from Uncle Don, he told me about the letters from Kurt and where to find them. I went to where he said they would be, and mom there were hundreds of them, at first he had written every day, and then he got to where he would write three to four times a week, Uncle Don had just lined them up in a box”

“He saved everyone of them Mom. When he died he had Luke take them to the house and I read every one of them. In every letter he apologized for what happened. He told me he still loved me, and hoped that I was happy, that I was missed.”

“In his letter, Uncle Don told me where to find him. He was a fashion designer in London. When I did the last tour with the Symphony, one of our last stops was London, I went to where he said he worked and I was told Kurt had transferred the week before to New York.”

“I found him Mama, it seemed like we were going to be able to make it work this time. I still loved him so much, reading those letters reminded me how much I had lost. We reconnected and we became boyfriends again. He was actually going to move in with me.”

“I had left for school one morning, and Marc showed up. He told Kurt that I had only gotten back together with him, to pay him back for what happened in high school, he convinced him, that I didn’t really want him back I just wanted to hurt him. He lied and Kurt believed him.”

“He didn’t even give me a chance to talk about it, I came home to a note from Kurt saying that he was breaking up with me. That he couldn’t believe I would purposely hurt him like that. The things Marc said were bad Mama, but if he would have only talked to me, I know I could have made him understand but he didn’t even give me a chance.”

“That was part of the problem we had when we were together before. Kurt was going through all this stuff, and instead of coming to me and talking to me about it, to see if we could fix it, he cheated on me.”

“ ** _He_** **_What_** _????_ ” she said in disbelief

“It’s not as bad as it sounds” he said looking at her

“Blaine, how can him cheating on you not be as bad as it sounds” she asks in disbelief

“Let me explain. You remember how at McKinley I was taking an extra English class so that I could graduate with Kurt?”

“yes, but…” she started to say

“No, let me finish, he thought I was pulling away from him, and I guess in a way I was. He got to where all he wanted to talk about was New York and NYADA, I guess I started to feel like he couldn’t wait to leave me, that it wasn’t just Lima he wanted away from, but me as well. It got to where when he started to talk about it, I would come up with something else I needed to do.”

“So you _were_ pulling away from him"

“I guess in a way I was, it hurt to think that he could just walk away from me that easy, like to him what we had wasn’t important, when to me, he was my world. I know how unhealthy that sounds I really do, but that was how I felt, and yes sometimes I would tell I had something I had to do when technically it could have waited for later, and on top of that I had that extra English class I was taking, so instead of having free period to do my studying and homework, I was having to do it at home after school, so that also made it where I didn’t spend as much time with him as I used too.”

“Mr. Shue, had given us this assignment, we needed to choose a Whitney Houston song. Kurt wanted to go to the music store to pick up sheet music one day after school, and asked me to go with him. I probably would have gone if he hadn’t started talking about needing to get music for class as well as his audition for NYADA. There it was again, so I told him I needed to go home that I had a paper I needed to write, which was true, but I technically could have been done it later.”

“He met this guy Chandler at the music store. They started sending some pretty racy text messages, I saw them and got really upset, I told him that that was cheating, he didn’t think so. We had a fight, but in a way it helped because we finally talked. I told him how I felt when he talked about New York and NYADA all the time. How it made me feel like he couldn’t wait to leave me. He didn’t realize how it made me feel, he said he would try not to talk about it as much. He also apologized for the texts and told me that he had asked Chandler not to text him anymore.”

“We seemed to do ok after that, but I still hadn’t told him about the extra English class I was taking, I had wanted to surprise him by being able to graduate _with_ him, that way we could leave for New York at the same time.”

“He asked me to come over one night, but I needed to study, that was the week I had gotten that B in trig and I just knew you and dad were going to kill me and make me stop seeing Kurt as much, so I told him I couldn’t.”

“He felt like I was pulling away from him again so he met that guy he had been texting with, at the Lima Bean, after school. On the way home, I started thinking about it, and realized that I could just stay up later and study, I wasn’t doing bad in those classes so it shouldn't be that hard. I could spend an hour with him and then head home, and do some studying. I didn’t want to miss spending time with him.”

“I stopped to get us a coffee and he was there with this Chandler guy, he told him that me and him had broken up, that since he was going to be leaving at the end of the year, he had decided to just end it, a clean break, pull the Band-Aid off, and then he kissed him.”

“Oh Blaine” she said shocked

“That was the weekend I told you guys not to answer his calls, we didn’t technically break up until that Monday. He cried, he asked me to listen to him, to give him a chance to explain but I didn’t I turned around and walked out.”

“So in other words you did to him, what he just did to you.” she said looking at him

“What” he said looking at her

“You saw him kissing this other guy. He wanted to explain, tell you his side of why he did it, and you didn’t take the time to listen to him correct?” she continued

He just looked at her not really knowing what to say.

“He was a seventeen year old boy, who was facing all these adult situations, he felt like you were pulling away, and he messed up.”

“Yes” he whispered not sure if he was going to like were this was going

“When he left, did you try to find him, to talk to him, because I am sure Burt knows where he is,” she said

“I went to Lima to talk to him,” Blaine said liking this even less.

“And did you let him talk? Did you listen to him, did you explain what happened and then give him a chance to talk?”

He said nothing, just looked at her

“Because if you didn’t, if you just said what was on your mind and walked away, that is twice you didn’t give him a chance. Yes he left without giving you a chance to explain, but isn’t that what you did to him? Blaine, I love you and I will stand by whatever you decide, but if you love Kurt as much as I think you do, I think you need to get your butt on a plane to Lima instead of sitting here talking to me. It seems like he fought for you, tried to make you listen, are you willing to fight for him, to make him listen to you.”

Blaine hadn’t thought about it like that, what she said was true, Kurt had fought for him, had tried to get him to stop, he begged him to stop and talk to him, and when he had gone to see Kurt, he had just told Kurt what he wanted to say, stood up and walked out without giving him a chance once again.

“Thanks Mom” Blaine said kissing her on the cheek before standing up and running to the door, He was going back to Lima, he was going to make Kurt listen to him and he was going to listen to Kurt, he wanted his family back, and that all started with Kurt.

oOoOo

When Blaine landed in Ohio, it was getting late so he rented a car and decided he would go to his parent’s house in Westerville, spend the night before going on to Lima in the morning. He spent some time playing on his old piano in the family room. That is where he had learned to love music, it had always made him feel relaxed.

That old piano had at times become like an old friend. When things had been bad at Carson before transferring to Dalton, he would come home and just play. He didn’t tell his parents how bad it had gotten until it was too late. But this old piano, had heard it all. Every heartbreak he had ever felt, every disappointment. It was also one of the things that helped get through the break up with Kurt. He spent hours just playing, letting the feelings out through music. And just like then, it helped him now. Helped him think.

For the first time since he was sixteen, he went to bed without setting an alarm. He didn’t wake up until 7:30 and felt wonderful. He had always had something he needed to do, he needed to wake up on Saturdays to see Kurt before transferring to McKinley, once he transferred he had to set an alarm to make sure he was up early enough for the two hour drive to school every day, and once again on the weekends to see Kurt, always wanting to grab every minute he could have with him. Then after the breakup, he had had to set an alarm across the room so he would have to get up, he would have to move, he would have to live.

Today felt like it was going to be a good day, he doesn’t know why but it does. He is bound and determined to talk to Kurt today, to let him talk and to listen to him. He had always asked Kurt to talk to him if there was a problem, but twice when he should have listened he had just walked away. Today he was prepared to listen, and also to be heard.

He quickly showered and got dressed, and then was on the road to Lima, prepared to fight for what he wanted for once. He wasn’t going to let Kurt disappear from his life again, without even trying. He had finally gotten him back, he had finally felt whole again, he couldn’t just let that go.

When he got into Lima he decided to go by the Lima Bean and have breakfast and grab him and Kurt a coffee, then he would go to his house and they would talk this out.

When he walked in the door, almost like déjà veux, he saw Kurt setting at one of the tables they had always sat in, nine times out of ten, when they came here that was where they ended up. It had almost felt like theirs. Unfortunately the last time he had seen Kurt sitting at that table without him, he had been sitting with Chandler, thank goodness this time he was sitting there alone. 

Blaine went and ordered him and Kurt a coffee, and then walked up to the table and looked at him, really looked at him. He was sitting there head bowed, with both of his hands wrapped around an empty cup of coffee with such a dejected, sad look on his face, it broke Blaine’s heart seeing him like that.

“Hi” he said softly before sitting down and sliding a cup of coffee to Kurt

“Hi” he whispered looking up, and he had tears in his eyes, and Blaine could tell he had been crying for a while.

Blaine reached over and pulled one of Kurt’s hands into his, rubbing his thumb across the knuckles, just staring at him.

“Kurt can we talk”

Kurt just looked at him and nods his head, still looking so sad

“I need to ask you a question, when have I ever done anything to make you doubt me, how much I love you, **_need_** you. Please tell me, so that I know what I did wrong, **_where_** I went wrong. I really need to know Kurt, because if I ever made you doubt me, to think that I could ever cheat on you, that there was ever anybody that could take me away from you, if I ever made you feel like that, I need to know and I am sorry” Blaine said looking at him feeling tears as the ran down his face. Not embarrassed to let Kurt know how he feels, knowing that this was probably one of the most important conversations he will ever have in his life.

Kurt just looks at him slowly shaking his head. “You haven’t, I have been sitting here thinking about that time I walked in here and you were talking to Sebastian. You didn’t even know I was behind you and that I heard every word he said, and everything you told him. You said that you didn’t need to go out with someone else to know what you had with me. That you would never do anything to mess up what we had. That to you it wouldn’t be worth it.”

“I wish I had thought about that when Marc showed up, you had never given me any reason to doubt you, to doubt how much you loved me. It made me a little mad at first when you left McKinley and wouldn’t listen to me, but I did the exact same thing to you. I didn’t give you a chance.”

“I didn’t stop to think that since the day we reconnected we were almost always together and on the days I didn’t see you, we were usually on the phone pretty late. You wouldn’t have had time to cheat because other than school you were always with me. Blaine I am so, so sorry, I should have given you a chance.”

“Once again you were always saying if I had a problem we needed to talk it out, and once again I ignored it, and took the word of someone I didn’t even know over someone I have known for seven almost eight year, the person I loved. In all the time I have known you, I have never caught you in a lie. You always told me how things stood even when you knew I wouldn’t like it.”

“You have never done anything to make me doubt your honesty, and your commitment to me, your commitment to us. I was going to come and see you by the way, I stopped in here to get a coffee and then I was going to get on a plane, I couldn’t wait anymore. I needed to fix this.”

For the first time Blaine saw the carry on bag sitting in the seat beside him.

“I was just waiting on my cab” he said looking up with a sad smile, and seeing a cab pull up.

“Be right back, I guess I need to tell he isn’t needed anymore.” He said walking out the door to talk to the driver.

“Can we go somewhere and talk” he asked as Kurt sat back down.

Kurt looked at him for a few minutes quiet, Blaine is afraid he is going to say no.

“Can you take me home” he asked quietly and Blaine feels his heart drop. He wasn’t willing to even try it would seem.

“You want me to take you to your dads” he asked, hoping he was wrong.

Kurt looked up at him with a small smile “No Blaine, please take me home”

Blaine looked at him for a few minutes making sure he understood what Kurt was saying before smiling, standing up and holding his hand out to him, and then pulling him into his arms, holding him making a promise to himself that he would never let him go again.

“Let’s go home” he said with a smile, before leaning in and kissing him. Not caring who might be looking on. He needed to feel Kurt in his arms again, Kurt's lips under his. He then reached down for Kurt’s hand, before walking to the door and out to the car. Blaine feeling lighter than he had since everything had gone crazy again. He knew that this wasn’t fixed, that they still had a long way to go to fix their relationship, but he knew it was a step in the right direction, and once again he could breathe.

oOoOo

A/N: Thanks for the reviews on my work both on AO3 and fanfiction, it gives me a push to keep writing. I know this is 3 updates in one week lol, I was off Friday and the weekend, so had to fix this mess our boys made (well the mess I made them make lol) thanks for reading and once again for your reviews. Hope you have a good week. Next chapter hopefully by Wednesday….


	15. The Talk

oOoOo

After leaving Lima, and getting back to New York, they went back to Blaine’s apartment and talked, talked about them, what they both wanted and didn’t want, and what they needed to do to make “them” work. One of the first things they decided was that maybe they had gone too far, too fast. They had jumped right back into their old relationship instead of trying to build on the one they had now.

They made a decision; they were going back to the beginning, back to how they had started, back to how they were when they first met, back to when things worked, when  _ “they” _ worked. They had dated, they spent time together, figured each other out, they spent hours just talking about everything, and nothing, getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes. Falling in love.

They decided that it would be stupid for Kurt to move to another apartment, because they both hoped that when Blaine graduated, they would be moving to Provincetown and to the lighthouse, together.

So Kurt would be moving into the spare room for now, they agreed that they would still be boyfriends, still be in a committed relationship, but they would be starting over. They would still spend as much time together as possible, they just wouldn’t sleep together. They had been together for over a year before they did anything the first time they were together. Neither one of them even pretended they would last that long, but they felt they needed this for their relationship.

They spent the first night back together snuggled up on the couch watching movies, sharing kisses and cuddles but as Kurt had once said, way back when they were “keeping their hands south of the equator.” Not that either would fuss if hands slipped, but they both knew that this was too important to not try to do everything possible.

At eleven they called it a night Blaine had school the next day, and Kurt was going to work on designs for his new line, coming up with a logo for the business. They kissed goodnight and went to their separate rooms.

They both hated it. In the little bit of time they were together, they got used to sleeping next to each other, knowing that they were both in the other room was hard to ignore but they did it. They made it through the first night which to Blaine was an amazing feat because at two in the morning he was standing up, and was heading to the spare room, going to Kurt, before he turned around and laid back down.

oOoOo

That weekend they went back to the lighthouse, they wanted to see if they could find a place for Blaine to set up a studio that he could teach music in, once he got his degree. He figured if he found a space now, he could have it fixed up and it would be ready for him when he was.

When they got to the house, Kurt automatically went to the spare room, they were doing better, they were talking, and when any issues popped up they talked about it then and worked it out before they got too big, before things blew up.

But this place was magical, and Blaine was ready to have Kurt back completely, he needed him back. Blaine walked up behind Kurt as he was unpacking his suitcase, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind, nuzzling into his neck, breathing in the smell of Kurt.

“Baby, what do you think about sleeping in there with me.” Blaine said before slowly turning Kurt around to face him.

“Do you think we are ready, I’m scared Blaine, I really am. We have been doing really good, I don’t want to mess this up.” Kurt said looking in his eyes, yes he wanted to be back in Blaine’s bed, but he needed him to be in his life more. If he needed to sleep in another room until they could work everything out then he was willing to do that, did he miss holding him at night, or being held by him, yes, but he had missed him while he was out of his life more.

“Why don’t we start out with you just sleeping in there, nothing else. We just hold each other for now. One step at a time, I just miss holding you Kurt. I really do” he said hoping Kurt would understand and go along with it.

Kurt just looked at him for a few minutes before a smile spreads across his face, they had to start somewhere right, if they wanted to work to get their relationship back to where it was, and make it better.

“Ok, one step at a time” Kurt said laughing as Blaine picked him up and spun him around. He had missed him so much sleeping in the spare bedroom, so close and yet so very far apart.

“Why don’t we go down to Pepe's Wharf, grab dinner and then come home and have a snuggle fest, then maybe tomorrow we can go looking around for me a place to open a studio, if you are interested.

“I would like that, let me get changed” Kurt said smiling

Blaine left the room to go change clothes as well, and by the time he was ready, so was Kurt, they went outside Blaine went and pulled the Mustang out of the garage, and for the first time he decided to put the top down. It was a beautiful sunshiny day.

They ate dinner and before heading home, they went for a walk along the coast enjoying each other’s company, holding hands and sharing kisses, being them, being in love.

When they got back to the house, Blaine took Kurt through the bedroom and up the stairs to the sitting area that Uncle Don had set up for him

“I want to show you this” he said guiding Kurt to the box of letters

“I read every one of them in one setting” he said looking at Kurt. Opening the box and pulling out the last letter ever written by his Uncle Don

“I want you to read this, I think it is just as much for you as it is for me,” Blaine whispered just looking at Kurt

Kurt took the letter and went to the chair and sat down. He read the letter three times. He so missed Don, he missed the conversations they used to have. He is sad that he didn’t get to live long enough to see them back together. He had really been rooting for them. When he finally folded the letter back and slid it into the envelope, he had tears running down his face.

“Come here baby” Blaine said softly before pulling Kurt into his arms, holding him tight and just letting him cry. That was the same reaction he had gotten himself when he had read it. Pulling away he reached out and took Kurt’s hand guiding him back downstairs and over to the bed, placing gentle kisses all over his face.

“Let’s go to bed” he said softly before helping Kurt strip down to just his boxer briefs, and then taking off his own clothes. He pulled him back into his arms placing a soft kiss on his lips, not trying to deepen it, just enjoying holding him in his arms again.

When he pulled gently back he walked over to the bed and pulled the covers back and let Kurt slid in. He quickly turned off the lights and slipped in behind him, pulling him into his arms holding him close. They drifted off to sleep snuggled up, comfortable, secure, and both feeling oh so loved.

Blaine woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and an empty bed, the first part he liked the second part not so much. He went in search of Kurt not even bothering to put on clothes. He missed waking up with Kurt in his arms, after going so long without him being there.

Walking into the kitchen he saw Kurt standing at the stove, with a big stack of pancakes on a plate on the countertop and the smell of bacon frying in the pan. He walked up behind him, sliding his arms around his waist, pulling him closer before kissing him on the neck.

“Morning Baby, did you sleep good” he asked before nuzzling his ear

“Very much so, I missed that, being in your arms” Kurt said softly turning in Blaine’s arms, a sweet smile on his face, wrapping his arms around his neck before placing a soft kiss on Blaine’s lips.

“Me too and you were out of bed before I woke up, I was hoping we could snuggle a little this morning before getting up. I have really missed that.” Blaine said with only the tiniest amount of a pout on his face.

“I missed it too, but I didn’t want to push this too far, this is too important to mess up” Kurt said before kissing him again and turning back around so he could flip the bacon. When it was done, he fixed them both a plate and Blaine got them each a cup of coffee.

“I was thinking about my music studio. How do you think it would work if I not only taught music, but had like a music store as well? I could sell my students the instruments they would need for the lessons, and also if someone bought an instrument from me I could give them a deal on teaching them how to use it.

“That might not be a bad idea, I don’t remember there being a music store when we looked around before, but was could always double check while we are looking around today and see” Kurt said with a smile

“Are you thinking about sheet music too?” he then asked

“Yea, I was thinking about it. Especially for the instruments I would be teaching” Blaine said with a smile, really getting excited about his shop, it was never something he thought he would do, he had always thought Broadway when him and Kurt were together the first time, and then after the break up his world had revolved around the symphony. He was really looking forward to this next phase of his life.

“Why don’t we both go, get dressed and see what we can find” Kurt said with a big grin excited for Blaine, and what he is going to be doing. He knows how much this means to him, and he was so proud of the decisions he was making.

“Let’s go” Blaine said quickly standing up with Kurt and heading to the bedroom to dress. Now that he had the idea in his head, he wanted to find a place to start his dream.

Once again since it is beautiful outside, Blaine decides to put the top down on the mustang and they head into town. They notice right away that there is no other music store in town, so Blaine’s idea would be perfect.

They had arranged to meet with a real-estate agent that morning. He showed them several store fronts, but the one that Blaine fell in love with, the one that was absolutely perfect was the third one they went into. There was a raised dais to one side that would be the perfect place for the piano; the room itself had really good acoustics, and it was actually in really good shape.

Another thing in its favor was that it was actually 2 doors down from where Kurt’s design studio was; they would be neighbors. They would be able to see each other during work hours when things were slow, but they would also have their own space to do their own thing as well. It was perfect. Blaine put in a bid, and expected to have to wait a while to hear anything, so he was very surprised when the bid was accepted immediately.

Blaine found out through Luke who Uncle Don had used to remodel Kurt’s shop, and set up for someone to come over next weekend to look things over to get started on the small amount of renovation, that would be needed. Everything was falling into place.

oOoOo

Over the next few weekends they go to Provincetown. Blaine to see what has been done with the reconstruction of his shop, and Kurt to start setting things up in his. He had spent a lot of time finding the different materials he would need to make his designs,they would start being delivered next week, so while Blaine was in class Kurt would be spending a lot of time here, getting the materials sorted and everything ready.

With every day that passes Kurt gets more and more excited. He had worked with a company who had created his logo for Lighthouse Designs by Kurt. He was so proud and loved the name chosen by Don, with everything he had done for them, it sometimes still felt like he was looking out for them, pushing them in the right direction.

Blaine finally decided on a name for his store, it became Lighthouse Music. He had spent a lot of time thinking about a name, he discussed it with Kurt and they both decided it would be perfect, it would tie both of their businesses together. If the store between them ever became vacant they even thought about buying it and maybe expanding both businesses.

Blaine in the meantime was ordering the instruments for his shop, and getting everything in order. He only had another month before graduation, and he could hardly wait. He had big plans for his and Kurt’s future, and a ring burning a hole in his pocket, just waiting for the right time.


	16. Graduation and Miscommunication

oOoOo

Blaine was graduating for the third time in his life, but unlike the first two that had always seemed a little sad, especially his graduation from Dalton, this time his boyfriend was present. His Kurt was there, and the day couldn't have been more amazing.

His parents, Cooper, Cooper’s wife Sarah and their girls had all came to see him graduate; they were joined by Santana and Kurt. After a few tense moments between his family and Kurt everything settled in, and before they left the girls had a new uncle, they had fallen in love with Kurt. Blaine was hoping before too long it would be official.

After his family left, and it was just him and Kurt, Blaine felt off. It had been a wonderful day, he had accomplished something big again, and Kurt was by his side. He had intended to ask Kurt to marry him right after graduation, once everyone left and it was just the two of them, but something held him back.

He loved Kurt, loved him with everything he had and had loved him since they were in school that had never changed. They had been through a lot, fought through a lot to get to this point in their lives. Blaine was ready to move forward and yet couldn’t. If he was honest with himself he was scared. They had been together twice, and had broken up twice.

Yes they were back together, but could he handle it if it fell apart again. The last break up really hit him. Kurt had so readily believed what Marc had said, not even thinking that he could have been lying, not even giving Blaine a chance to explain, and once again not believing in him, in them.

No relationship was perfect, everyone fought, what was going to happen the next time. Would Kurt do the same thing again, would he not give him a chance, would he not try to fight for them; which left Blaine wondering if it was worth it, was it worth getting his heart broken again, could he trust Kurt to talk to him so they could figure things out or would he pull away; until Blaine had that figured out, the ring would stay in his dresser.

If he had learned anything from past experiences, he knew they needed to talk, or HE needed to talk, but before he could do that he had to clear his head, straightened some things out. He needed time alone, away from Kurt. He needed to think.

He didn’t really know how he would arrange that now that he wasn’t in school. He knew that if he told Kurt he needed time away it would worry him for no reason so when the contractor called asking him if he could come by one day this week, he gave Blaine the perfect opportunity to get away. He decided he would head out first thing in the morning and get everything taken care of.

He told Kurt there was really no need for him to go, since he was in the middle of some designs he had been working on for a week, and was finally making progress on them. He could just keep working on those and then he would be home after getting everything worked out with the contractor.

When they went to bed, Blaine just held Kurt tight, needing the closeness, not wanting anything more than to just hold him in his arms through the night, needing that connection. If Kurt thought this was strange he didn’t say anything.

Blaine woke up before his alarm went off the next morning, he gently rolled away from Kurt, trying not to wake him up, he stood up and walked to the shower. He had hoped when he woke up this morning his head would be clearer, but something from yesterday just wouldn’t let go.

When he walked out of the bathroom he noticed Kurt was awake and was sitting up, leaning back on the headboard watching him with a concerned look on his face. Blaine quickly got dressed and then set down on the edge of the bed turning so they could look at each other.

“Blaine what’s wrong, you have been acting off since yesterday after everyone left. Is something going on.” Kurt says in a nervous voice

“It’s not that anything is wrong really I just have a lot of stuff running through my mind right now, things I need to think about.” Blaine said looking at him.

“Talk to me please; tell me what is going on. You’re starting to scare me.” Kurt said softly

“Baby, I don’t mean to scare you I really don’t, but there are some things I need to think about. I need to meet with the contractor this morning, can we talk when I get home tonight?” Blaine asks before standing up and going to the closet and pulling out his shoes.

“Are we ok” is all Kurt asks

Blaine walks over to him, leans down and places a soft kiss on his lips, running his thumb slowing across Kurt’s cheek.

“Baby, we are perfect I promise.” He says sitting on the bed beside him softly kissing him again, and then pulling him into his arms, placing a kiss on top of his head.

“I love you so much Kurt and I promise you we are ok, I just need to figure a few things out. I have a big decision I need to make” Blaine said before placing his hand on Kurt’s face and a soft kiss on his lips.

“Ok” Kurt said softly, looking at him, not liking it at all, wondering what big decision he needed to make, and what that really meant for them, he felt like crying.

Blaine could still see how concerned he was and hated it, but he knew that before he asked what he thought was the most important questions he would ever ask he needed to step back and think about everything, about what he was feeling, about where he wanted this to go. He just needed some time alone to make that kind of a decision.

“I love you sweetheart, don’t worry we will talk when I get home tonight ok” he said standing back up, grabbing his wallet phone and keys before turning around and heading to the door.

Kurt got out of bed and walked with him not wanting to say goodbye. He had a really bad feeling that when Blaine walked back through that door, everything was going to be different that nothing would be the same ever again, and he just didn’t know how he felt about that.

Blaine pulled him into a hug and just held on to him, like he didn’t want to let him go, which made Kurt feel even more uneasy. He remembered all those times when Blaine would look at him concerned, when they were first together, before they broke up.

Kurt had always thought he was just being overly dramatic, he never really took his feelings seriously, but now he understood. He understood how Blaine had felt; all those times he had just almost begged Kurt to talk to him, because now he wished that Blaine would just talk to him, now he understood.

“I need to go, I’ll be home tonight and then we can talk ok? Kurt I love you so much” Blaine whispered before placing his hand on either side of Kurt’s face and kissing him like he hadn’t kissed him in months instead of just a few minutes ago.

Blaine had such tightness in his chest, he hurt and didn’t really know why; he just knew he needed to straighten some things out in his mind so they could talk. Normally he went to Santana for advice, but knew this was something he had to do on his own, but he also wished Uncle Don was still around, feeling like he would understand in a way Santana never could.

“I love you Blaine, I really do” Kurt said with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Something was wrong, he knew it but just didn’t know what or even how to begin to fix it. They had been fine, there had been no fights, no arguments, no nothing, but ever since Blaine’s family left everything had been different, things had shifted, and Kurt didn’t like it.

He felt like he was losing, what, he didn’t know, but he was losing. He wonders for more than the hundredth time if this is what Blaine had felt all those times; had he hurt him this bad without even knowing it.

He had always been so caught up in himself, what he was going to do; not always thinking about them, remembering all the times he would see an almost hurt look cross Blaine’s face when he talked about New York, but he had been so wrapped up in himself, getting out of Lima he never really stopped to think about how that might have sounded to Blaine.

Had he managed to do something again to push Blaine away? All he knew was that he hurt, he couldn’t lose Blaine again, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t survive it again.

oOoOo

When Blaine got to his shop, he loved it. Everything was looking the way he had envisioned it would, it was perfect. The contractor walked him through everything, showing him a few things that needed to be fixed that they hadn’t planned on, but nothing major. He also notified him that the owner of the shop between his and Kurt’s was talking about possibly selling.

Blaine thanked him for everything, and then got on the phone with Luke. He said he would find the information on the shop owner and see if he was interested in selling, and then he would get back with him.

After that Blaine walked around through town, looking at everything, falling more in love with what he considered his new home. He had plans of moving here within the next few weeks, but needed to straighten some things out first.

He had picked up a rental car before leaving the airport so he walked over to it and decided to just drive around, before he even realized what he was doing, he was pulling up outside the lighthouse. He walked in, and went upstairs where he had left his letters from Kurt.

He reread the one from Uncle Don, he missed him so much. He had always believed in Blaine, he had been there for him during a time when his own mom and dad hadn’t been. They had had a rough patch but had finally got through it partially due to Uncle Don. He really wished he could just talk to him right now.

He slowly reread through every letter Kurt had ever sent him, and then went downstairs to where he left his messenger bag. He had put all his notes from Kurt in there last night. He had decided that if he came by the lighthouse he would put the the notes with his letters, knowing that they all belonged together.

He slowly walked up the stairs and sat back down in the chair and reread all the notes, trying to get the feeling back, but still hurting. Remembering how he felt when he walked into the Lima Bean and saw Kurt kissing Chandler. Yes he had forgiven him for that but the memory still had the power to hurt.

Remembering how he felt when he walked into his front door, and heard that song, and then saw the letter left by Kurt, remembering the feeling of loss, of hurt, of disbelief. Not understanding any of it. Trying to move past it all, but knowing he hadn’t. He had been so happy to just have Kurt back in his life.

He went back downstairs, sat down on the couch, brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs and just sat there. Not really knowing what to do anymore. He loved Kurt, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, he knew that, but could he trust him. It wasn’t until his phone started ringing that he realized what time it was. He had planned on being home tonight, but it was now 8pm.

“Hi baby, I am so sorry, I meant to be home by now” Blaine said answering the phone after seeing that it was Kurt.

“Blaine, what is going on, why didn’t you come home” he heard Kurt’s voice break, and knew he had been crying, and that broke his heart

“Oh sweetheart I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you I really didn’t, I came by the house and lost track of time. I missed the last flight for tonight, I will be home first thing in the morning.” Blaine said, still not anywhere closer to an answer.

“Blaine, are you breaking up with me, if you are please just tell me because I can’t sit here like this anymore wondering” Kurt said and once again Blaine can hear the tears in his voice.

“Kurt, no, I am not breaking up with you, I just finally got you back. I just had some things I needed to work through and I thought I would be able to do that here. I will be home on the first flight I can catch in the morning and we’ll talk, I promise.” Blaine said wishing he was at home now so he could just pull him into his arms and hold him tight. Needing him back in his arms. He promises himself that is the first thing he is going to do in the morning.

After they hung up, Blaine went for a walk along the coastline, taking his shoes off like Kurt had done and just walked through the sand barefooted, hands in his pocket, and for the first time since yesterday he felt at peace.

Being here was magical, all his worries dissolved, his decision was made. He never doubted his love for Kurt. Not since the moment he realized he loved him six years ago, back when he watched him sing blackbird. He had felt such warmth flood through him. He had known in that moment that Kurt had always been meant for him. Kurt was his other half, his better half, his world.

He felt the warmth flood back through him again. He knew they would have issues, but he also knew now that they would work them out together. He realized in that instant, that being allowed five minutes in Kurt’s company was worth any pain that might come his way. If he got five minutes or fifty years, he would be satisfied.

He was finally ready to let go. Let go of past pain, past regret, and move forward. Now to convince Kurt he thought with a smile.

oOoOo

The first flight to New York, was at 6am and he was on it, he was ready to be home, ready to be with his Kurt, ready to start the next chapter of his life, their life together.

What he wasn’t ready for was to walk into an empty apartment at 8:30 in the morning. He walked into their room thinking that Kurt might have actually slept in, only to find he wasn’t there at all. When he walked back into the living room, he saw a letter on the coffee table and his heart dropped walking up to it, dreading what he might see, but knowing deep down, this was his fault, this was all on him.

_ Blaine, _

_ I am going to Lima. After we hung up, I wanted to see dad. I wanted someone to talk to. I am not running away from you, I am not breaking up with you, I promise, I just needed to see dad. I don’t know what time I will be home, but I will be back sometime tomorrow. I love you Blaine, I just hope I haven’t already lost you. _

_ I have been sitting here since you left, wondering if this is how I made you feel, and if it is I am sorry. I know I have hurt you more than once, then and now, I’m sorry for that. I guess you might be tired of my apologies by now. _

_ Please know Blaine, I love you. I have loved you from the minute I saw you at the bottom of the staircase at Dalton, and every single second after. _

_ I love you then, now, always, _

_ Kurt _

Blaine cried, he cried for what he had put Kurt through, cried for years lost, for mistakes made. Now it was time to fix it……

He decided he wasn’t going to wait on Kurt to come home; he was going to go get him. He went and took a quick shower, dressed, and before walking out of their room he opened up his dresser drawer and pulled out the ring.

He caught the next flight to Ohio, rented a car and then called Burt. He needed to make sure Kurt was still there, when he was told yes he asked him to keep him there. He had a plan in mind, and didn’t want Kurt heading home yet.

His first stop was to a florist; he picked up a dozen red roses for Kurt, remembering how much he had always liked them. His next stop was LaRosa's a little Italian restaurant him and Kurt used to go to, on their date nights when they were still at Dalton. It had been the place Blaine had taken Kurt for their very first date, still remembering just how nervous he had been, trying to make sure the night was perfect for Kurt.

It had become very special to them, they ate there every Friday night, until Kurt had transferred back to McKinley; he had almost forgotten just how special a place it was. He orders Kurt spinach and ricotta ravioli, and himself the mushroom ravioli, and a slice of cheesecake each, the same thing they had ordered every time they had come here.

It had almost become a running joke, they didn’t have to order anymore, they would sit down and within ten minutes their food was in front of them. He looked around the place while he waited, remembering all the time they would spend in one of the booths, holding hands across the table, whispering their secrets, falling more and more in love. 

Once Kurt went back home they had started eating at Breadstix that had become their new place. It wasn’t as good, but it gave them somewhere they could spend time together. He missed those days, back when life seemed easy, before things became complicated, before they fell apart.

Once they brought him his food order, he drove to his mom and dad’s. He turns on the heating drawer of the oven and then puts their food in it to keep it warm. He quickly runs down to the wine cellar, and pulls out a bottle of wine that his mom keeps in the mini chilling fridge. He carries it upstairs and places it in the refrigerator until they were ready for it. After making sure everything was in order, he heads out to get Kurt, to bring him home, they would have an early lunch and then talk.

The closer he got to Lima the more nervous he got, wondering what he was going to face when he got there. Were they going to be ok? He had made this trip more times than he can remember, but can’t remember ever feeling this nervous; even when he was picking Kurt up the first time as his official boyfriend. But he knows just how important this was, what was at stake, just wanting it to be right.

After his graduation, after everyone had left he had felt so excited, he was going to ask Kurt to marry him, spend the rest of their lives together just like they had discussed so many times cuddled up together in their dorm rooms at Dalton.

They had discussed where the wedding was going to be, once it had become legalized. They discussed how it was going to look, they had everything all planned out, back before their dream dissolved and the real world came crashing in.

He had gone to get the ring out of his drawer, and that is when the doubts had set in. Was he making a mistake, could he trust Kurt? He had already forgiven him for everything and loved him more now than he ever had before, but could he trust him with this, was he making the right decision. After everything that had happened, was he going to be able to put the past behind them and marry Kurt?

Walking in the sand last night everything had become clear, he no longer had doubts, no matter what, Kurt was worth it,  _ they _ were worth it. He had just felt like he needed to get his head straight before he talked to Kurt. He wasn’t avoiding anything; he just needed to know he was making the right decision. He now had no doubts. He was ready…

oOoOo

Once he got to the Hummel’s he sat in the driveway, just staring at the house, once again more nervous than he has been in a long time, not really knowing what he was going to be facing, just knowing he had to fix this. He couldn’t live his life without Kurt in it again.

He slowly opens his door and steps out of the car and walks to the front door. Burt answers it, pulling Blaine into a hug.

“You ok kid” Burt asks him looking concerned

“Better than I have ever been” Blaine said never meaning anything more.

“He is upstairs in his room” Burt says before walking away

Blaine heads up stairs, looking at all the pictures that still line the walls, pictures of Kurt and Finn through the years, a picture of Burt and Carole on their wedding day, a picture of Rachel, Finn and their little boy and then the last one at the end, a picture of Kurt and Blaine that had been taken before Kurt’s junior prom. 

Looking at that picture, he remembered how happy they had been, and even though the night hadn’t been all good, Blaine had never been more proud to be with Kurt, to take his hand and ask him to dance, proud of the person he was.

He walks up to Kurt’s door and knocks, this time waiting for Kurt to say come in before opening it. Once again Kurt is setting on the side of the bed looking a little lost. Blaine walks up to him and kneels in front of him, looking into his eyes, before pulling him into a hug.

“I am so sorry” Blaine whispers kissing Kurt on the top of the head.

“I don’t understand Blaine, I really don’t. You always said if there was a problem we should talk, we could fix anything if we could just talk it out. You just left” Kurt said finally looking up at Blaine and that is when he noticed Kurt wasn’t upset, Kurt wasn’t sad, Kurt was pissed off.

“You walked out that door, said you had some big decisions you needed to make, and then turned around and walked out. You just left me there wondering what was going on, wondering what I had done. If you are ending this Blaine, then end it now. I’ll go pack my things and be out of your apartment today.” Kurt said pulling away from him and walking away.

“ **_I need an answer, I am not going to live like this anymore, yes I have messed up, yes I have made mistakes, and I have apologized for each and every one of them. I refuse to live my life in fear of you leaving. I am over it. If you want to be with me fine if you don’t want to be with me fine, but I need to know_ ** ” Kurt said, his voice getting louder with every word by the end he was shouting, finally standing up for himself, tired of being scared of living.

Blaine stood up and just looked at Kurt, a big smile spreading across his face, there was  **_his_ ** Kurt. The Kurt he had met at Dalton, the Kurt he had transferred to McKinley to be with, the Kurt he had always thought of as his firecracker, the Kurt he had fallen so in love with. Until that moment he had forgotten just how much he liked  _ no _ loved this side of him. This was the true side of Kurt that had been missing since they reconnected.

Blaine walked up to him and yanked him into his arms, before slamming their lips together, kissing him the way he had wanted to since they got back together. Yes they had kissed but Blaine had always been gentle, loving, this was passion, a passion that he could only feel for Kurt.

“ _ Oh, I’m not going anywhere Baby you can count on that I am not going anywhere _ ” he growled before pushing him against the door deepening their kiss.

“Let’s go” Blaine said moving back a little

“Where are we going” Kurt said tilting his head sideways, his lips so red and swollen

“Oh baby, I am going to go talk your  **_ear_ ** off” Blaine said pushing him back against the door grinding their hips together, making sure Kurt knew exactly what he was talking about before diving in and kissing him again. By this time they were both hard.

“Let’s go” Blaine growled again reaching down grabbing Kurt’s hand and pulling him out the door and down the stairs.

“Burt we will be back tomorrow” Blaine yelled as he was heading toward the door, still pulling Kurt behind him. Burt walked out and saw it and just laughed and shook his head. His boys were going to be ok.

oOoOo

Blaine held Kurt’s hand all the way to Westerville, never wanting to let him go again. When he pulled up outside of the house, some of the franticness had faded so he was able to walk over and open Kurt’s door and not yank him out like a caveman.

He did however, take his hand and slowly lead him upstairs, he knew they still needed to talk, but he needed him so bad right now and then they could eat and talk. Walking through his bedroom door he remembers the first time he had brought Kurt here, to his bed. Their first time, they had both been so nervous, but he doesn’t think it could have been anymore perfect, the love they shared that day, and every time after.

Blaine slowly started undressing Kurt, kissing him as he did, sliding his tongue in, never able to get enough of the taste that was all Kurt. After unbuttoning his shirt he slowly slid it off of his shoulders and tossed it into a chair that was beside his bed, then reaching between them he unbuckles Kurt’s belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants before sliding his hand down his sides across his ass squeezing it and then sliding his hands up and under the waistband of his boxers and pants, slowly sliding his hand over Kurt’s bare ass, pushing his boxers and pants down as he goes. Pulling his hips a little closer.

He pulls away long enough to strip off his own clothes, before gently pushing Kurt backwards on to the bed, before crawling up beside him, and kissing him again. He can never get enough

Blaine begins kissing a trail across Kurt’s jaw up to his ear, sucking on the lobe before gently biting down on it, then kissing the spot behind his ear that he knows always drives Kurt crazy. He slowly starts kissing down his neck, down his chest first kissing, and gently sucking on first his left nipple and then his right, hearing Kurt moan and feeling him gently start to pull on his hair.

He continued down to his stomach licking around his belly button, feeling once again as Kurt thrust his hips forward, knowing he won’t allow this to go on much longer, he was as hard as Blaine was.

He kisses down Kurt’s inner thigh of his left leg before licking up the inner thigh of his right, hearing as Kurt starts to moan his name. When he gets to the tender spot just under his right ball, another one of Kurt’s spots he kisses and sucks on him, marking him before taking his ball in his mouth and gently sucking for a minute before licking up his shaft to the head, kissing it, taking him in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and slowly moving up and down his cock, gently squeezing his balls, getting him just to the point he knows he is about to cum before slowly pulling off, and moving back up, and kissing his lips again.

He wants Kurt to cum, but not that way, he wants to be buried deep inside of him when he does. That is when it hits him, with all the stops he had made today, he hadn’t stopped by the pharmacy.

His main thought had been them talking, but looking at Kurt, watching him come alive again had pushed all thoughts aside except for making love to this gorgeous man again. He had too have him. He reaches out to his night stand hoping there is still some lube in there from the last time he had Kurt in his bed.

He shuffles through his draw and is about to give up, when his hand lands on a bottle, pulling it out, it is half full.

“Thank god” he said grinning before kissing Kurt one more time and then shifting his body so he was now kneeling between his legs. He squeezes some of the lube on his hand, and sighs when he realizes it is still good. He had wondered.

He slicked up his index finger and slowly starts sliding it in and out, watching Kurt judging when he is ready before slicking up a second finger and gently sliding them both in, taking his time, wanting to make this good for Kurt.

When he lets him know he is ready he slowly pulls his fingers out, slicks up the third finger before slowly inserting them all back in, watching Kurt’s face making sure he isn’t hurting him more then he has too, sliding his fingers in and out, scissoring his fingers. Before long Kurt is pushing his hand away, letting him know he is ready.

Blaine squirts lube on his hand, and slides his hand up and down his erection coating himself before rubbing the excess lube from his hand on Kurt. Lining himself up he starts pushing forward, entering him, never taking his eyes off of his face, watching as he bites on his bottom and noticing his eyes are completely blown.

He stops when he breaches the first ring of muscle giving Kurt time to adjust to him. When he feels his muscles start to loosen around him, he slowly starts pushing forward, watching Kurt’s face the whole time, watching for signs of pain, stopping when he is fully embedded in Kurt, wanting to move so bad it hurt, but knowing he needed to give him more time to adjust.

After a few minutes, Blaine leans forward, placing soft kisses all over Kurt’s face, keeping his abdomen as close to Kurt as he can, he slowly starts moving. Thrusting in and out slowly at first and then picking up speed as Kurt starts thrusting his hips up.

Before long his is thrusting harder faster, following Kurt’s rhythm. When Kurt wraps his legs around Blaine’s waist pulling him in tighter, bracing himself, Kurt starts thrusting his hips up meeting Blaine thrust for thrust. Blaine almost loses it then, but is nowhere near ready for this to end.

He shift positions so he is kneeling between Kurt’s legs again, holding him up by his hips so only his shoulders and upper back are touching the bed and starts slamming into him, at this angle hitting his prostate with every thrust, loving the sound of his balls slapping Kurt’s ass.

“Roll over baby” Blaine whispers pulling out when he sees that Kurt is getting close again, he wants this to last longer, he just needs more. Kurt rolls over onto his stomach, Blaine pulls his hips up, kneeling behind him he pushes back in and starts moving fast and hard again, keeping a steady rhythm. 

When he hears Kurt start to breath heavy and moan his name, Blaine knows he is close again he pulls out and has Kurt lay back on his back, taking Kurt’s legs and putting them over his shoulder, and reinters him moving hard and fast. 

Before long Blaine starts hearing that cute little noise that Kurt makes, when he is about to cum, looking down at him watching as he balls up his fists, and then seeing his thumbs starts to twitch, he speeds up, letting Kurt’s legs slip back down a little before leaning down over Kurt so he can feel friction from his abdomen on his swollen cock again, he soon feels the warmth of Kurt cumming between them.

“I love you, I love you, I love you” Blaine said with every thrust, chasing his own orgasm leaning down placing gentle kisses all over Kurt’s face and before long he is cumming harder than he has in a long time buried deep inside Kurt.

Blaine slowly pulls out of Kurt before rolling off of him onto his side, gently pulling him into a hug, placing a lazy kiss on his swollen lips.

“Damn Blaine” Kurt says with a smile, trying to catch his breath. Blaine had always been good in bed but damn.

“I know we were supposed to talk, but I needed you so bad, and it has been a long time” Blaine said kissing him again.

“Blaine, it has been three days” Kurt said looking at him before reaching up his hand and pushing some stray hair off of Blaine’s forehead, leaning in to place a kiss on his lips

“Exactly ... a long time” Blaine said looking at him with a smile and puppy dog eyes, slowly rubbing his hand up and down Kurt’s back

“I love you” Kurt said laughing, shaking his head

“I love you too” Blaine said pulling him close for a few more minutes before kissing him one more time.

“Let’s go jump in the shower then we can go eat and have our talk” Blaine said standing up, reaching out his hand to help him stand up.

Kurt sat on the side of the bed, stretched and then saw the picture upside down on the nightstand. Looking at Blaine he reaches out to pick it up. He remembered that was where Blaine had always kept the black and white picture of him. When he flipped it over, he saw it was his picture, but the glass was shattered. He looked at it and then looked at Blaine, trying to understand.

Blaine gently reached out and took it from Kurt slowly running a finger across the frame.

“I have always loved this picture, it was my favorite of all the pictures I had of you,” Blaine said softly looking up at Kurt with a sad smile sitting back on the bed beside Kurt

“I always wanted it to be the last thing I saw at night. I just loved that smile. That day I came home from The Lima Bean I saw this picture. I was so mad, and so hurt, I picked it up and threw it against the wall, the glass shattered. I left it lying on the floor where it fell, I guess mom picked up at some point”

“You have to understand Kurt, that day I hurt, I hurt bad, I had trouble even breathing. The day after I went to McKinley the last time, was the last day I was really in this room. I moved back to Dalton. This time not because me and my parents weren’t getting along, but because they were always away and I couldn’t stand being alone after everything that happened.”

“After I graduated high school, I moved to New York. I took nothing from here with me. I refused to wear any of my old clothes, and I didn’t see myself wearing my Dalton uniforms to NYADA so when I got to New York I bought all new clothes.”

“Mom and dad decided to move to California to be near Cooper and his girls, since they knew I wouldn’t be living here anymore. The house was closed up, and I never came back, until right before Uncle Don’s funeral.”

“Santana came with me, and slept in here with me, she always did. After the breakup she stayed with me the whole weekend. She slept in here, she is the reason I made it.”

“When I saw it this picture then, we were still broken up, it didn’t really hurt anymore, but I just left it turned over”

“The day I saw you at the Lima Bean, right after the funeral, I realized I still loved you, but I was with Marc. I came back here and got drunk off my ass, and if you remember from Rachel’s party I don’t handle alcohol very well, the next part of this is going to explain a little more of my break up with Marc but also why that picture was still turned over”

“Marc showed up here because we had a massive fight over the phone, I didn’t know he was in the room. Santana and Cooper told me I sat down in the middle of the floor laughing my ass off, asking why you weren’t here yet you should have already been here” 

“They all told me that we were broken up, that I was with Marc. They said I kept begging mom to call you, because you would tell her that we weren’t broken up, why would I break up with you, I love you. Of course Marc was there and heard every word.”

“Apparently I kept calling you Kurty because the next morning he asked me who Kurty was, of course, I was in shock trying to figure out how he knew your name, until he proceeded to tell me what I had been babbling the night before.”

“That is why he called me Kurty that day; that is another reason why I thought you too were working together. Your were the only one who ever called me Kurty except Jeff. Oh god Blaine I am so sorry” Kurt said looking at Blaine tears running down his face.

“Hey no more apologies ok. We are together now and that is all that matters. Let’s go get cleaned up, go eat and then we can talk ok” Blaine said leaning in and kissing him on the forehead before standing up holding out his hand and then guiding Kurt to the shower.

After they showered they headed downstairs, Blaine stopped to grab something out of one of the drawers he had put in there earlier. Then he pulled out their lunch, which was now going to be an early dinner, it was a little dry from sitting in the heating draw for so long but it was still really good. They carried their plate and a glass of wine and went into the living room and sat down on the couch to eat and they could talk.

The time that Blaine had been dreading was finally here. He needed to explain to Kurt what happened, what he needed to think about and really hoped he understood.

“After graduation, after everyone left, I had something I wanted to talk to you about, something I wanted to ask you. Kurt I love you with all my heart, and have for a very long time. You completed me, you were this missing piece of my soul I didn’t even know I was missing until that day I saw you on those steps at Dalton”

“I really don’t even know how to explain how I felt. Everything was perfect, we were back together, we were living together, we were both about to open our own businesses, or lives where on track, but all of a sudden something felt wrong.”

“I know I have always said that if there was a problem then we needed to talk about it, so we don’t let it get to where it is an issue. I knew I needed to talk to you but I needed to get things straight in my head first. I honestly got a little scared. Here we were, we had been together twice broke up twice”

Blaine looked at Kurt, hoping he would understand the next thing he said, never wanting to hurt him but knowing this next part would.

“Kurt I started thinking back to what happened with Chandler, where instead of talking to me to see what was going on, you went out with someone else. Then when Marc showed up and said whatever he said to you, you just walked away. You had known me since I was seventeen years old, you knew who I was what I was, you knew me, and just like that you believed him without even taking the time to talk to me about it.”

“I had never cheated on you, never gave you a reason to doubt me but you took the word of a stranger, and that hurt more than you will ever know.” Blaine said now with tears running down his face.

“I had something important I wanted to talk to you about, but then I got worried, would you stick around this time, would you talk to me; see what was going on before you walked out on me again, because Kurt I really couldn’t handle that again. I almost didn’t this time. If it hadn’t been for Santana I wouldn’t have.”

“I went and talked to the contractor, he went over with me what we needed to talk about and then I went to our lighthouse, I looked around, and once again it was like walking into our old dreams, all those conversations we used to have when our love was so new. I went upstairs and I reread all the letters you sent me.”

“Also, when I was getting ready to go back to school, I decided to use my old Dalton messenger bag, the last time I had carried it was the day I cleaned out my locker at McKinley. I just shoved everything in it and then when I got home, I shoved it in a box in the top of my closet and never even looked at it again.” 

“I was cleaning it out and I found all the old notes you used to leave me before you left Dalton. I read through every one of them”

“When you called I almost had my answer, after we hung up I went for a walk along the shoreline outside of our lighthouse. I felt so much peace and I knew in that instant that if I got five minutes or fifty year with you, I could die happy. I love you Kurt, I love you more than I ever thought I could”

Blaine turns in his seat, reaching into his pocket and pulls out the ring box he had put in there before walking out of the kitchen.

“Kurt you are my world, you are the reason I want to wake up every morning; you are the reason I can breathe. I love you more today than I did yesterday, I will love you more tomorrow than I did today. You complete me, you are and have always been my world.”

Blaine slides down on one knee in front of Kurt opening up the ring box and holding it out for Kurt to see.

“Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, will you do me the honor of marrying me, will you make me the happiest man on earth” Blaine said with tears filling his eyes

“Yes, oh god Blaine, yes” Kurt said tears rolling down his face and slamming into Blaine wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him with everything he had, feeling like their circle was finally complete.

Six years ago, when they had first met, first fell in love, Blaine never would have thought this day would come, but oh how it was worth the wait he thought as he wrapped his arms around Kurt, it was so worth the wait, he thought before returning the kiss from the love of his life. His missing puzzle piece. His world

  
A/N There should be one more chapter and then the epilogue left for this story. I leave for London next weekend and don't know if I will get it completed before then, if not I will get it up when I get back. Thank you as always for reading. Have a good weekend.


	17. Home

oOoOo

They were going home; that is how their lighthouse felt, home… the best word Blaine knew. He had had a home with his parents and Cooper, and had felt happiness, warmth and love. He had, had a home at Dalton, where he had felt contentment, acceptance, and friendship, but the lighthouse was different it was the home he had always wanted, the home he had dreamed of from the time he was seventeen and learned what love really was, the home thought up by two seventeen year old boys spinning dreams, unknowing they would one day become a reality.

Back then, if Blaine had known how things would turn out, how the break up would happen and all the years they would spend apart, he knows he would have still done the same thing. He would still have turned around and spoke to the new kid, he would still have walked up to the most beautiful boy he had ever seen standing on the bottom step of that staircase. He would still have taken his hand and ran with him down that hallway, he would still have song Teenage Dream straight to him, he would still have fallen in love.

Their lives didn’t turn out perfect, or how they had envisioned them being, all those nights lying together in either his or Kurt’s bed, sharing dreams and hopes, but he liked the way their lives where. Deep down he knows they needed that time apart. They needed that time to find out what was important, who was important, and that their love is worth fighting for.

Neither one of them believed their future together would always be easy, they knew they would fight, they would have arguments, but now they will always remember what it was they were fighting for, who they were fighting for.

oOoOo

They decided that even though they would be moving to Provincetown permanently, they would keep the apartment in New York. There would be times when they needed to come back, and it would be nice to be in their own space instead of a motel, and since it was paid for there was really no reason to sell it.

Within a week of getting engaged, they had the apartment packed and a moving company hired to move everything. They packed a suitcase each, grabbed what they needed, got in Blaine’s car and drove home. They took their time stopping at anything that looked interesting. They were not on any kind of schedule for the first time in their lives, they were free to do as they liked and loved it.

Once they got to Provincetown, since it was still early in the day, they stopped by their stores. The contractor had called Blaine and let him know everything was done; and it was, everything was perfect. All the instruments he had ordered would be delivered over the next few days and then he would be ready to open.

He got a call from Luke that the property between his and Kurt’s was being sold and per request he had put in a bid for them and it had been accepted. Blaine didn’t tell Kurt he had decided that would be his wedding present to him.

They went into Kurt’s showroom and looked around, the contractor was coming back tomorrow to install the new glass door for his storefront with the logo they had decided on. It would be used for both businesses.

Kurt walked around removing the dust covers off of everything. He had ordered his material and they would be delivered tomorrow, other than that he was ready. They walked from there to Pepe's Wharf, there new favorite place to eat. It had a lot of the ambiance that LaRosa's had. After they ate they walked back to the car and drive the rest of the way home, life was good.

oOoOo

“Blaine, I need to go down to the store, Merics just called and said they would be delivering my material in thirty minutes” Kurt said walking into their bedroom where Blaine was still in bed

“It only takes you five minutes from here to get there, wanna have a quickie” Blaine said with a smile spreading across his face moving his eyebrows up and down.

“Umm no, because you don’t know what that word means” Kurt said laughing at him

“You could teach me” Blaine said crawling across the bed on his hands and knees towards Kurt, naked as the day he was born, and as usual when he wakes up hard and ready. When he gets up close to Kurt he gets up on his knees and pulled his hips close, gently thrusting his hips forward.

Kissing him at first soft and gentle but it didn’t take long for the kisses to turn hard and desperate. Before Kurt can say anything Blaine is pulling him onto the bed and then turning him so he is under him, straddling his thighs.

“Bbbblllllaaaaiiiinnnee” Kurt sighs already knowing he has lost

“Kuurt, you can’t leave me like this” Blaine whispers into Kurt’s ear before biting gently on his earlobe, and gently thrusting his hips forward so their erections rub against each other and that was all it took. He quickly had Kurt’s pants and boxers off.

By the time they were done and they both were dressed they were only twenty minutes late meeting the delivery driver. Kurt fussing the whole time about how he told Blaine he didn’t know how to do quickies.

“See, we will just have to practice more” Blaine said pulling into the parking lot next to their stores. Leaning over and kissing him on the neck before he has a chance to get out of the car, then opening the door and getting out to follow him.

“I love you,” Blaine said softly walking up close pulling him back so he was against him, hugging him tight, kissing him on the neck again, loving the smell that was all Kurt.

“I love you too sweetie” Kurt said before turning around placing a kiss on his lips, still in the circle of Blaine’s arms.

This was one of the things they loved about Provincetown, they didn’t have to hide who they were, that they were a couple, they could show each other affection, and not have to worry about comments being said or worse. They could kiss, hold hands and not have to worry. They could just be them.

Kurt opens his shop door for the delivery driver who carried everything in and placed it where Kurt wanted it to go. Seeing his material ready, and pulling out his design book he can’t wait to get started, he can’t wait for his first order.

While Kurt was looking around, making sure everything was where he wanted it, Blaine’s phone started to ring. His piano was ready to be delivered tomorrow along with a few more of the instruments he had ordered. It was all starting to shape up, and come together.

Within two weeks they had their grand opening, and it goes better than they had expected it too, Kurt had decided to mainly concentrate on children’s designs since there was no one in the area who did that, he was kept busy, and was loving it.

Blaine’s business was going good too. He already had students; he was teaching a few clients piano but mostly he was teaching violin, especially after everyone realized who he was. He had traveled with the symphony around the world he had been second chair, everyone wanted to learn from him and he was in heaven, he felt like he had finally found the place he belonged. They were both settling in.

There shops were open for six months before they started planning the wedding, they had decided to keep it small, just family and friends

Blaine chose Santana to be his best woman. Normally the honor went to your male best friend, but since Kurt had been his best friend since he was seventeen, and he preferred him having the job of his groom…. He named Santana - priorities and all that.

Kurt went with his only choice and chose Finn to stand up for him. Burt had agreed to officiate the ceremony, going on line and getting the license.

The choice of flower girls was a simple one Blaine’s little nieces, Addi and Ari, and of course their ring bearer could be none other than Elijah, Rachel and Finn’s little boy. Kurt designed the kid’s clothes, making each child two sets, in case something happened and they needed to change, especially dealing with Elijah who was every inch Finn's son.

They opted for an outside wedding on the beach outside of their lighthouse. The weather was sunshiny, and mild and in front of the lighthouse was the perfect place, after all, their dreams had started there, where else could they choose to have it.

One by one the guest started showing up, Cooper, Sarah and the girls had come in yesterday, along with Burt, Carol, Finn, Rachel and Elijah, so that they could be there for the wedding rehearsal. It had been a blast watching how the kids acted, especially little Addi, who was so proud of her duty as flower girl at her Uncle Blaine and Uncle Kurt’s wedding.

Mike and Pam came in first thing the next morning and met everyone at a local restaurant for breakfast, and then everyone went back to Blaine and Kurt’s to finish getting everything set up. They hadn’t wanted to do it too early in case the weather changed and things had to be moved.

An hour before the wedding, the New Directions showed up followed shortly by the Warblers

When the wedding started, one by one the kids started walking down the aisle, and everyone busted out laughing because for every petal Addi dropped down, Ari was bending over and picking it up, putting them in her basket. When it was time for Elijah he ran down the aisle, swinging the pillow that the rings were on. Thankfully Kurt had put a fake set on the pillow, and Santana and Finn had the real set, everyone laughed, and as far as Blaine and Kurt were concerned it was perfect.

They had decided to walk in together instead of meeting at the front, so as their music started, a slower piano version of teenage dreams, they started walking down the aisle together, holding hands. They had opted instead wearing the usual tux’s they were going to get married in more of a beach theme.

They got married in all white; White billowy Caribbean shirts, white cargo pants, and barefooted. Finn, Burt, and Elijah wore matching outfits in a slightly darker color. Kurt had designed Santana’s dress, it was also in white and Caribbean style, it fit her loosely and ended just below her knees and as the wind blew, it bellowed softly around her legs, and even though Brittany wasn’t part of the wedding party, he made her a dress that matched Santana’s in a pale shell pink, the color he had made Addi and Ari’s little dresses.

The most perfect part was that above their heads was a rainbow, even though it hadn’t rained. It was almost like uncle Don was there, cheering them on, right where he was meant to be.

They decide not to go on a honeymoon anywhere after the wedding because they were already where they would have gone, their lighthouse. How could anything be more perfect than that.

After the wedding, and after the cake was cut Addi stood up with her little purple violin and played a song for her uncle Blaine and uncle Kurt, she played blackbird, and Blaine cried. Remembering the day that Kurt had sang that song, the day he realized just how much he loved him. How it had taken him so long to realize he didn’t know.

When the reception was over and the last guest left, Kurt and Blaine walked into the lighthouse, sometimes still not believing it was real, a teenage dream created by the love of a man who had meant so much to both of them.

They raised two beautiful children in that house. They had opted to go with adoption, instead of surrogacy; there were already so many children out that that needed a home. After they had been married for three years they adopted Logan, a little two year old boy that they fell in love with.

The next year they learned that Logan’s mom had had another baby and wanted to put it up for adoption, they were called first to see if they were interested, that way the kids could be raised together, so they brought Ansley home a beautiful little blond haired blue eyed little girl that looked like she could have been Kurt’s biological child. How could Blaine say no to that.

They created a happy life together, raising their two children, growing their businesses, and falling more and more in love every day; every day thanking Uncle Don who even though gone, had brought them back together. Life was good.

They had fights, and they had arguments, but above all else they had love…

The end…


End file.
